Bystander Intervention - What to do if You Witness Abuse

Bystander Intervention - What to do if You Witness Abuse

It may not be safe or effective to directly confront the abuser in every case, but there are a range of ways bystanders can be involved before, during, or after a situation when they see or hear behaviors that promote violence. Deborah Hackworth goes over some bystander intervention information on this episode.

Below are some intervention tips and strategies:

Disrupt the situation. Every situation is different, and there is no one way to respond. When you witness a person being harassed, threatened, or followed by someone, you can try to distract the harasser or insert yourself into their interaction to help the targeted person get out of the situation. For example, if you see someone on the street being verbally harassed, you can interrupt the harasser and ask them for directions. You can also intervene by pretending to know the person being harassed and starting a conversation with them as an opportunity to come between them and the harasser.

Don’t act alone. Get support from people around you by calling on others to help. The more people who come together to interrupt a situation, the more you reinforce the idea that the behavior is not acceptable in your community. This can be as simple as saying, “Let’s say something to them so they stop.” If you do not feel safe, you may consider contacting the police.

Set the expectation to speak up and step in. Talking openly and responding directly to inappropriate behaviors will have a snowball effect and encourage others to respond. It shows you recognize the comment or behavior is unacceptable and shows others it will not be tolerated. For example, if you are in a group setting and you hear someone make inappropriate comments, you can say:

  • Are you hearing what I am hearing?
  • I can’t be the only one who thinks this is not OK.
  • I don’t see how XYZ is relevant or appropriate to this discussion.
  • I know you’re a better person than that.

Understand how your privilege positions you to speak up. Your age, race, gender, etc. may make it safer for you to speak up and be vocal about harassment – especially when you are not the target or representative of the target group.

Focus on the needs and experience of the target and ensure they receive the support the need.

  • Let them know that what has happened to them isn’t their fault.
  • Affirm that they didn’t do anything wrong.
  • Express your support for the individual. – I saw what they just did. Are you OK? – I heard what that person said to you. I am so sorry.

Take action online. Everyone can help address an online culture that tolerates rape and sexual violence. Online comments that blame victims contribute to a broader climate in which sexual violence is tolerated and not taken seriously.

  • Believe and support survivors. For example, thank survivors for sharing their stories in the comments of news articles and blog posts.
  • Respond to victim-blaming, rape jokes, or other problematic comments on social media:
    • Post a response like, “Sexual assault is never the survivor’s fault.”
    • Refocus accountability on the individual(s) who committed sexual abuse.
  • Link to an educational resource about sexual violence prevention, like those that can be found at nsvrc.org/publications.

Be proactive. Practice with friends and family what you would say and how you would say it if you’re ever put in the situation where you need to confront a harasser. Think of how you would like others to take action on your behalf, or reflect on a situation where you wish you had acted differently

If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

Please consider helping us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

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Keeping Our Kids Safe with Renee Abrams and Katey McPherson of Bark

Keeping Our Kids Safe with Renee Abrams and Katey McPherson of Bark

Renee Abrams and Katey McPherson of Bark, a technology to help parents and caregivers proactively monitor text messages, social media and more for their children's safety, join Dan on this episode to talk about keeping our kids safe from sexual assault online. From red flags to technology to help, this conversation covers a lot as we continue our Sexual Assault Awareness Month coverage. Resources mentioned in this episode: Bark Protect Young Eyes Talking About Sex (website) Peggy Orenstein (books) Common Sense Media Building Boys (website) ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

14 Apr 202138min

Talking to Our Kids About Sexual Assault Without Scaring Them

Talking to Our Kids About Sexual Assault Without Scaring Them

During Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we are helping parents and caretakers talk to their children about sexual assault. It's not easy to approach the subject without scaring (and scarring) them. But it's also not good to ignore the possibilities. On this episode, a panel of DASAS team members tackle the question "I'm afraid of scaring my children by talking to them about sexual abuse, but I'm also afraid not to talk to them about it. What should I do?" ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

7 Apr 202125min

Sexual Abuse in the Media

Sexual Abuse in the Media

In this episode, DASAS Executive Director Krista DeBoer shares information about a presentation she gave the DASAS Board of Directors on media coverage— news and entertainment media— on sexual assault, harassment, abuse and rape. Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) is a campaign each April to raise public awareness about sexual assault and educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence. The goal is to bring as many organizations together to highlight sexual violence as a public health, human rights and social justice issue and reinforce the need for prevention efforts. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center provides the annual theme, slogan, resources and materials for the national SAAM campaign. (paraphrased from Wikipedia) Links: Sexual Assault Awareness Month Moxie Sexual Violence in the Media: An Exploration of Traditional Print Media Reporting in the United States, 2014–2017 ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

31 Mars 202123min

Survivor Story - Nicole's Journey of Escaping, Returning, Forgiveness and Surviving

Survivor Story - Nicole's Journey of Escaping, Returning, Forgiveness and Surviving

Nicole Railsback - Co-Owner and Operator of Railsback Indoor Sports Expo - The RISE in Southwest Michigan, shares her story of abuse, escape, a return to the person who abused her, ultimately escaping and the damage her return caused... coupled with forgiveness, love and survival. The RISE ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

24 Mars 202139min

How to Help and Support DASAS

How to Help and Support DASAS

Bill Furr, President of the Board of Directors at DASAS and chair of the facilities committee, joins Dan on this episode to discuss how listeners can help support Domestic And Sexual Abuse Services (DASAS). From giving money to donating supplies to our emergency shelter, you can help us support survivors in many ways. DASAS Wish List Donate to DASAS ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

17 Mars 202140min

2 Years, 100 Episodes - What Have We Learned from Our Podcast

2 Years, 100 Episodes - What Have We Learned from Our Podcast

After two years and 100 episodes, some of the people behind I'm Not In An Abusive Relationship gather to discuss where we started, what expectations we had and where are now. As of this release, our little podcast produced in Southwest Michigan for our 3 counties we support has been downloaded (or streamed) nearly 80,000 times. We average 792 downloads/plays per episode (the industry average is 140 per episode). We reach every state in the U.S. plus another 103 countries. Our goal to spread hope and help is working. Listen in as Dan Moyle welcomes Claudia Pahls (host), Ned Haylett (former President), Rose Ludwick (former Executive Director), Krista DeBoer (Executive Director) and Deborah Hackworth (Director of Advocacy Services) to discuss what it takes to launch and maintain a podcast for a nonprofit. ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

10 Mars 202136min

Men and Surviving Sexual Abuse

Men and Surviving Sexual Abuse

Survivors of sexual abuse (and domestic violence) span genders, sex, orientation and other identifiers. In other words, yes, men are victims, too. In this episode, you'll hear from a licensed counselor who helps men find hope and healing. Papillion 'Poppy' DeBoer is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor who, among other clients, specializes in helping male survivors navigate their healing. Poppy uses evidence-based techniques and methods, drawing primarily from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Compassion Focused Therapy. Resources: Sexual Victimization Perpetrated by Women: Federal Data Reveal Surprising Prevalence The Body Keeps the Score My Body Belongs to Me (for kids) A Practical Guide to Complex PTSD Am I Broken (Poppy's podcast) Agency of Change (Poppy's website) ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

3 Mars 202129min

Is Most Violence Against Women Committed by Strangers?

Is Most Violence Against Women Committed by Strangers?

Laura Kopacz is a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE Nurse) at ProMedica Coldwater Regional Hospital Branch County Sexual Assault Services. On this episode, Laura explores the question, "Is most violence against women committed by strangers?" Laura also explains what survivors of sexual abuse can expect when working with medical professionals trained in working with victims/survivors. Important note: victims of sexual assault do not pay for this service. There is no cost to you as a survivor for help. Links: Branch County Sexual Assault Services Read about Laura ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

24 Feb 202120min

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