Embracing Perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schafler

Embracing Perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schafler

Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals. About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Defining perfectionism 6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving 12:40: The five types of perfectionists 21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short 28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism 34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work 38:10: The difference between power and control 44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection 49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships 54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success 1:07:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ep. 3: How to Grow Self-Compassion

Ep. 3: How to Grow Self-Compassion

How we can use self-compassion to reduce rumination, feel safe while taking big risks, and improve our relationships with other people. Dr. Hanson and Forrest also explore what makes self-compassion different from self-pity or being on your own side. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:15: What are the benefits of self-compassion? 1:30: How is self-compassion different from "being on your own side"? 1:55: What's the difference between self-compassion and self-pity? 2:30: How can we be compassionate to ourselves without coming across like a complainer? 4:20: The fastest way to get people to stop talking AT you. 5:55: Using self-compassion to fight rumination 8:15: The function of rumination: avoiding a dreaded experience. 11:00: How to become more self-compassionate. 16:53: Summary and ending. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Jan 201818min

Ep. 2: Being On Your Own Side

Ep. 2: Being On Your Own Side

Dr. Hanson focuses on the importance of self-compassion - and particularly on why it's important to get "on your own side" in order to create lasting, positive change in the brain. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Timestamps: 0:35: Why start with compassion? 2:10: Why it's important to be on your own side. 4:30: Why does being for yourself promote well-being? 5:45: The importance of coping. 7:30: How do we get better at being for ourselves? 11:15: How to be consistent AFTER inspiration passes. 17:05: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Jan 201819min

Ep. 1: Introducing Resilience

Ep. 1: Introducing Resilience

What does it mean to truly be Resilient? Dr. Hanson explains the importance of Resilience and HOW we can grow the most important strength for achieving reliable happiness.  Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Timestamps: 0:30: Why resilience is important 2:05: The HOW of growing key strengths 5:00: Dealing with challenges/What's in your backpack? 6:30: Resources, challenges, and vulnerabilites 7:40: Changing the brain for the better 9:45: How is this different from just "positive thinking"? 11:10: The negativity bias 13:45: The hopefulness of growing strengths Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Jan 201815min

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