Attachment Theory and How to Avoid the Mistakes Everyone Makes When They Learn About It
Attachment theory and how to avoid the mistakes everyone makes when they learn about it. It’s probably your attachment style. Think of it as the relational software installed in your brain during your first 18 months. This episode is a crash course in understanding your programming and avoiding common mistakes. We break down the four main styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized. We explore the classic Anxious-Avoidant trap, where one person chases and the other retreats, creating a cycle of frustration. More importantly, we debunk the myth that these styles are a life sentence. You'll get a practical, no-fluff guide to understanding your patterns and, crucially, how to start changing them for the better. Spot the Red Flags: Learn to recognize an avoidant partner’s mixed messages so you can bypass the drama. Get Your Crazy Out: Why being direct about your needs (especially if you're anxious) is the best dating strategy. Ditch the Ghost: For avoidants, learn why idolizing a fantasy ex is sabotaging your chance at real happiness. Listen now to finally make your love life make sense. ---- Advertisers BetterHelp The world's largest online therapy provider BetterHelp.com/GrowthMindset - 10% off 1st month Liquid I.V. Sugar-free hydration for any occasion Liquid-IV.com - 20% off with code GROWTH ---- NEW SHOW - How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 ---- UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Chapter: 00:00 Attachment styles 04:48 Origin of Attachment Styles 06:17 Secure attachment 07:11 Anxious attachment 08:17 Avoidant attachment 09:00 Disorganized attachment 09:22 Impact on Relationships 12:38 Advert - Magic mind 12:38 Common mistakes with attachment theory 14:57 Overgeneralize attachment styles 15:50 Neglecting the influence of context 17:49 Stigmatizing certain attachment styles 19:13 Oversimplifying the complexity of relationships 19:46 Misapplication of attachment theory 20:24 Ignoring change in attachment style 21:13 Mid-roll ad 21:17 Improving Attachment styles 24:31 Improve Anxious Attachment 27:06 Avoidant attachment traits 29:00 Avoidant style tips 30:23 Deeper areas to explore 31:11 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
1 Juli 34min
Do You Think Like a Caveman? Surprising Mindset Lessons From History
Where does the scarcity mindset, imposter syndrome, and loss aversion come from? Welcome to a mindset masterclass from history. Learn if the very instincts that kept humanity alive are now keeping you from truly living. For 290,000 years, we survived by playing it safe, following the tribe, and hoarding resources. These weren't character flaws—they were survival strategies in a world where innovation could mean death. The scarcity mindset that once threatened our ancestors' survival now threatens our potential. The tribal conformity that once protected us now prevents breakthrough thinking. The focused attention that once saved lives now creates cognitive tunnels. This episode goes beyond history to recognise the invisible forces shaping your choices and breaking out of survival mode. ------- NEW SHOW - How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 ------- UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Do You Think Like a Caveman? Surprising Mindset Lessons From History Chapters: 00:00 GM - 5 Mindset Locks on Innovation 02:58 The Hand Axe Conundrum 04:51 Episode Goals 06:06 #1 - SURVIVAL 06:42 Energy requirements 08:51 Time Scarcity 11:20 Risk and Psychological Safety 13:39 Survival and Scarcity Mindset 16:15 #2 - CULTURE 18:03 Culture in New Guinea 19:02 Results of trying ideas 20:46 The Grandmother Hypothesis 21:43 Widowhood statistics 23:07 Kaulong Tribe Widow killing 24:49 Catalhoyuk - 1000 years of stasis 25:59 Culture, Social Pressure, Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome 28:47 #3 - KNOWLEDGE 30:51 Losing knowledge 32:14 Maths 33:01 Communication and Language 34:03 Ice Age Picasso Paradox 35:16 Knowledge and Cognitive Tunnelling 37:59 Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
27 Juni 42min
5 Self-Limiting Beliefs that Hold You Back from Who You Want To Be
You’re not lazy. You’re just listening to the wrong voice in your head. This episode breaks down 5 invisible saboteurs that make you think you're stuck. The reality is you're just thinking the wrong thoughts. Think of your brain like an iPhone. If it runs on a 2012 mindset, don’t expect 2025 results. Sam dives into the limiting beliefs that sneak into our self-talk, from the myth of perfectionism to the lie that you “don’t have enough willpower.” You'll hear how comedians bomb for years, why imposter syndrome gets worse with success, and what cats can teach us about distraction. Flip the script on your inner critic before it sets the tone for your day. Ditch “I need to be ready” and build momentum instead. Learn to treat willpower like an emotion, not a battery. You’re one mindset shift away from progress. ------- NEW SHOW - How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 ------- UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: 5 Self-Limiting Beliefs that Hold You Back from Who You Want To Be Chapters: 00:00 Perfectionism and believing we are too late 02:25 1 - Inner Critic 04:56 2 - Fear of mistakes 06:59 3 - Ego Depletion 10:00 4 - Imposter Syndrome 13:26 5 - I am Helpless against Distraction 15:40 ADHD and incorrect use of Diagnosis and Prognosis 16:47 Nir Eyal's 4 point model to beat distraction 16:56 Master Internal Triggers 17:22 Schedule Time for Traction 18:02 Hacking back External Triggers 18:28 Distraction Prevention Pacts 19:31 Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
24 Juni 23min
Concepts: How the Brain Constructs Reality, Emotional Experience and Who You Are - w/ Nicholas Shea
Ever wonder why you can recognise your friend's face instantly but struggle to remember where you put your keys? Your brain is running the most sophisticated learning system ever created, and most of us have no clue how it actually works. Nicholas Shea is an Oxford and King's College Researcher working in philosophy of mind, cognitive neuroscience and artificial intelligence. He breaks down the fascinating psychology behind how we build concepts in our minds. Think of concepts as mental shortcuts - when you see a dog, you don't analyse four legs, fur, and a tail. Your brain instantly accesses everything you know about dogs. We dissect these fundamental building blocks of learning into how the brain actually works and learns, and build mastery. Three key takeaways: What builds basic concepts into subject mastery? How do emotions inform decision-making? The real difference between deliberate practice and passive learning ------- NEW SHOW - How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 ------- Nicholas Shea Nick & his work - https://www.nicholasshea.co.uk/ Book - Concepts at The Interface - https://philpapers.org/rec/SHECAT-11 Paper - Concepts as Plug and Play Devices - https://www.nicholasshea.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Shea_22_Concepts_plug-and-play_RSTB_OA.pdf Recommended Books "Consciousness Explained" - Daniel Dennet Metazoa : Animal minds and the birth of consciousness” - Peter Godfrey Smith "Other Minds: The Octopus, the Sea, and the Origins of Consciousness” -Peter Godfrey Smith "The Pleistocene Social Contract" - Kim Sterelny Helen Steward - Article - Do animals have free will - https://philosophersmag.com/do-animals-have-free-will/ UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: The Building Blocks of Learning and Mastery in the Brain - w/ Nicholas Shea Chapters: 00:00 How does your mind really work? 03:21 Playing with Concepts 05:00 Overview of Concepts in Psychology 06:14 Building and Storing Concepts 06:30 Concept Learning in Adults 07:59 Concept Acquisition in Children 08:46 Motor Skills and Conceptual Thinking 09:29 Automatic vs. Deliberate Thinking 11:00 Richness and Accessibility of Concepts 13:56 Cognitive Shortcuts and Biases 15:09 Narration on how media affects our thoughts 17:27 The Frame Problem in AI 22:25 Emotions in Decision Making 26:17 Animal Cognition and Emotions 29:14 Neurotransmitters and Learning 30:44 Philosophy methods and experimentation 31:32 Interdisciplinary Approach in Philosophy 33:13 Practical Implications of Abstract Research 34:29 Challenges in Applying Theoretical Insights 37:54 Recommended Books and Final Thoughts 39:45 Books Repeated 40:34 Take-home ideas 42:27 How to change the world podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
20 Juni 47min
When Your Brain Won’t Shut Up: A guide to internal peace and lasting focus
Let's unpack the heart of attention, addiction, autopilot and self-sabotage. This episode is a deep dive into the junk food of thought: addictive mental loops that hijack your attention, and keep you stuck repeating the same boring patterns — again and again and again. We talk about why your thoughts are like badly designed software, why addiction makes your brain less creative, and how to actually take back control. From scrolling email to self-sabotaging loops, it turns out the enemy isn’t the internet… it’s your untrained mind. Reframe addiction as a self-inflicted cognitive handicap Break the loop with “internal repulsion” instead of willpower Interrupt the mental chatter that blocks creativity You’ll never look at your own thoughts the same way again. NEW SHOW - How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 ------- UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: When Your Brain Won’t Shut Up: A guide to internal peace and lasting focus Chapters: 00:00 Useful vs bad fixed beliefs 02:37 Dimensions of our thoughts 03:46 Activating our Auto-Pilot 04:55 Understanding Addiction 05:56 Your mind in addiction 09:25 How do addictions impact ability 10:10 Addictions Undermine Growth and Potential 11:48 The Distraction Ritual 12:58 Taking Responsibility for Addictions 15:27 Changing Your Desire, Not Just Your Behavior 18:03 Reframing Addiction as a Self-Imposed Limitation 19:33 Reclaiming Your Mental Capabilities 20:55 The Power of Embracing Boredom 21:34 Support the podcast by helping a friend Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
17 Juni 25min
How to transcend your normal habits and routines to have original ideas
Mental Constraints: How to change your thoughts and break invisible limits you can't see This episode is a ride through dimensions—space, time, and your own mind. It’s like stepping outside your body mid-coffee to ask, “Wait, what the hell am I doing?” From Zen bugs to aeroplane windows, Sam breaks down how we’re all stuck in routines that make life two-dimensional. And the worst part? We don’t even notice. You’ll learn: Why your habits aren't just habits—they're constraints dressed as convenience How to inject randomness into your week to break mental inertia A simple way to use boredom as a creative tool Don’t let your year pass in fast-forward. Open your thinking to start living in widescreen. NEW SHOW - How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 ------- UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: How to transcend your normal habits and routines to have original ideas Chapters: 00:00 The Observing Centipede 01:25 Transcendent versus experiential thinking 03:02 The Flatness of Our Existence 05:33 Thinking in Dimensions 07:50 Routines and Potential Decisions 11:51 Introducing Novelty and Chaos 13:36 Entropy and Being Anti-Entropy Machines 15:45 Living with Intention After a Near-Death Experience 18:03 Forgiveness and Letting Go 20:05 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
13 Juni 24min
How to Tell if Someone Will Be a Good Long-Term Partner (and find them)
What if everything we believe about finding love is designed to keep us searching instead of finding? This episode debunks some of the worst common advice and showcases what's genuinely useful. It might start with you. The people most focused on finding the perfect partner often remain alone, while those focused on becoming the right partner tend to attract extraordinary relationships. Shift from scarcity-based dating to abundance-based connection: Understand "optimal search theory" Focus on shared vision for the future rather than identical current interests Recognise that generosity and a growth mindset matter more than initial chemistry If you find someone, will you recognise them when you do? Advertiser - Millionaire Match High-quality, entrepreneurial singles, for serious relationships MillionaireMatch.com Referal code 'GROW' for a welcome treat. NEW SHOW - How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 ------- UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: How to Tell if Someone Will Be a Good Long-Term Partner (and find them) Chapters: 00:00 How to choose a partner 00:51 Importance of shared values 03:21 Know what you really want 05:29 What is the "Optimal Choice" 06:08 Increasing the pool of potential mates 06:57 Go on more dates 08:27 Improving yourself to attract better partners 10:10 4 Mistakes and bad advices when choosing a partner 13:22 4 Dating myths to uncover 19:40 4 Signs to look at when choosing a partner 22:45 Past Relationships 27:06 Screening for a positive mindset 28:42 Optimal Search Theory 31:30 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
10 Juni 35min
Uncertainty: How to Handle Life's Surprises (+ What is a Black Swan event) - w/ Nicolas Vereecke
Ever felt like life just sucker-punched you out of nowhere? That's exactly what Nassim Taleb calls a Black Swan event. Most people think they can predict the future by looking at patterns. They study charts, analyze trends, and feel safe in their little bubble of certainty. However, the biggest events that shape our lives—market crashes, pandemics, breakthrough innovations—are the ones nobody sees coming. .. Beyond that, it's about how your brain tricks you into thinking you understand a world that's fundamentally unpredictable: Stop trying to predict everything and start building resilience for anything Rebuild your investment portfolio and life plan to deal with shocks Prepare for worst-case scenarios instead of hoping for the best NEW SHOW - How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 ------- UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Radical Uncertainty: How to deal with surprises and Black Swan events - w/ Nicolas Vereecke Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: Navigating Life's Unpredictability 02:02 Understanding the Black Swan Concept 02:41 Real-World Examples and Implications 04:54 Investment Strategies for Unpredictable Events 12:00 Mediocristan vs. Extremistan 18:39 Ludic fallacy 18:39 The Ludic Fallacy and Risk Assessment 21:46 Conclusion and Takeaways Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
6 Juni 27min
