I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Tressie McMillan Cottom & Trevor Noah: Optimistic and Depressed

Tressie McMillan Cottom & Trevor Noah: Optimistic and Depressed

The Daily Show host says he sometimes struggles to get out of bed. But he's comfortable saying that with a smile.  This episode is part of our 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup of guest hosted shows while our regular host, Anna Sale, is out on leave. Are you new to Death, Sex & Money? Check out our starter kit of some of our favorite episodes. And subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Maj 201927min

Al Letson & Nikole Hannah-Jones: Sensitive, Not Scared

Al Letson & Nikole Hannah-Jones: Sensitive, Not Scared

Journalist Nikole Hannah-Jones self-describes as "super sensitive." But that's not the same thing as being scared. This episode is part of our 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup of guest hosted shows while our regular host, Anna Sale, is out on leave. Are you new to Death, Sex & Money? Check out our starter kit of some of our favorite episodes. And subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Maj 201933min

Jason Isbell & Will Welch: Somebody Needs Me

Jason Isbell & Will Welch: Somebody Needs Me

The Nashville singer-songwriter and the editor-in-chief of GQ Magazine sit down together to talk about their close friendship, Will's recent cancer diagnosis, expensive risk-taking, and their shared sobriety. This episode is part of our 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup of guest hosted shows while our regular host, Anna Sale, is out on leave. Are you new to Death, Sex & Money? Check out our starter kit of some of our favorite episodes. And subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Maj 201932min

Damon Young & Kiese Laymon: The "Good Dude" Closet

Damon Young & Kiese Laymon: The "Good Dude" Closet

The writers on why the label covers a multitude of sins. Don't forget to subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Apr 201930min

John Cameron Mitchell & Marilyn Maye: I Will Survive

John Cameron Mitchell & Marilyn Maye: I Will Survive

The actor and Hedwig and the Angry Inch creator talks with 91-year-old cabaret singing legend Marilyn Maye about love affairs, alcoholism and their hopes and fears about aging.  Please give to our spring fundraising campaign and keep Death, Sex & Money strong. If we get 150 new supporters by April 30th, we'll unlock a special treat for everyone. Head on over to deathsexmoney.org/donate to give, or text "DSM" to 70101. And thank you! Don't forget to sign up for our weekly newsletter. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Apr 201930min

Lisa Ling & Awkwafina: Shut Up, Let Me Shine

Lisa Ling & Awkwafina: Shut Up, Let Me Shine

The Crazy Rich Asians actor talks with guest host Lisa Ling about how Bambi helped her process her mom's death, and why she has no qualms about turning down offers to do high-paying panty liner commercials. The Death, Sex & Money community is a vibrant one because of you! Please give to our spring fundraising campaign and keep us strong. If we get 150 new supporters by April 30th, we'll unlock a special treat for everyone. Head on over to deathsexmoney.org/donate to give, or text "DSM" to 70101. And thank you! And don't forget to sign up for our weekly newsletter. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Apr 201928min

The 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup

The 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup

For the next few months, some of our favorite past Death, Sex & Money guests—and some new folks, too—are taking a turn in the host chair and interviewing the people they're most curious about. Among them: Journalist Lisa Ling talks with rapper and actor Awkwafina about losing her mom as a kid and finding unconditional love as an adult. John Cameron Mitchell interviews 91-year-old cabaret legend Marilyn Maye about her love affairs and her fears about ending up in a nursing home. Writer Damon Young sits down with author Kiese Laymon to talk about body image and money anxieties. Americana singer Jason Isbell interviews GQ editor-in-chief (and his best friend) Will Welch about masculinity, mental health and their shared sobriety.  Those are just a few of the conversations coming your way starting on April 10. Don't miss them! 👋 Are you new here? Welcome! Check out our Death, Sex & Money Starter Kit, where you'll find some of our all-time favorite episodes. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to our weekly newsletter. And if you have a story to share, email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Apr 20193min

A Father and Daughter Talk About Layoffs

A Father and Daughter Talk About Layoffs

We asked for your stories about being laid off. A listener named Stephanie wrote in about her dad.  Take our survey about losing a job by going to deathsexmoney.org/laidoff. And find advice from other listeners about how to handle a layoff by texting "LAID OFF" to 70101. Don't forget to subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Mars 201913min

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