I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Daniel K. Isaac Is Opting For The Gray Area

Daniel K. Isaac Is Opting For The Gray Area

As a teen, Daniel K. Isaac fought his sexuality. But accepting that part of himself as an adult has meant finding new, complicated ways of relating to his mother. Please give to support Death, Sex & Money. If we get 150 new supporters by April 30th, we'll unlock a special treat for the whole community. Head on over to deathsexmoney.org/donate to give, or text "DSM" to 70101. And thank you! And don't forget to subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Mars 201925min

José Andrés Googled ‘How To Be A Father’

José Andrés Googled ‘How To Be A Father’

José Andrés is at the helm of more than a dozen restaurants and is famous for his humanitarian work. But when it comes to parenting, he says he's often felt less than confident.  Apply for our Summer 2019 internship in New York! Applications are due March 21st, 2019. Head over here to apply. And don't forget to subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Mars 201928min

When We Sent Our Son Away

When We Sent Our Son Away

Diane Gill Morris moved her whole family, including her two young adult sons who have autism, into a house she thought they'd live in forever. Then one of her sons had a violent outburst, throwing everything into question. Have you been laid off? Text "laid off" to 70101 to get our listeners' best post-layoff advice delivered straight to you.  And speaking of deliveries, every Wednesday we send out our newsletter, filled with podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates about the show. We also let our subscribers know about upcoming live events and ways you can contribute your stories to Death, Sex & Money. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Got something to say? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Feb 201925min

Autism Isn't What I Signed Up For

Autism Isn't What I Signed Up For

When we posted an article on Facebook about deciding to have children, Diane Gill Morris told us, "If someone had told me this is what it’d be like, I never would have had kids." Look out for an update from Diane tomorrow, about what's happened since her sons have become young adults and she's faced new challenges as a caregiver.  Did you know we have a newsletter? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates about the show. We also let our subscribers know about upcoming live events and ways you can contribute your stories to Death, Sex & Money. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Got something to say? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Feb 201930min

How Nikki Giovanni Finally Learned To Cry

How Nikki Giovanni Finally Learned To Cry

The legendary poet talks with host Anna Sale in front of a live audience about standing up to her father, surviving breast and lung cancer, and why she now cries "over any damn thing."  Have you ever been laid off? We want to hear about it—how you talked about it, how it changed your finances, and what helped you feel better. Take our survey at deathsexmoney.org/laidoff.  Sign up for our newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates about the show. We also let our subscribers know about upcoming live events and ways you can contribute your stories to Death, Sex & Money. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Want to tell us something? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Feb 201931min

Let's Talk About Porn Again

Let's Talk About Porn Again

We're revisiting our most-listened to episode ever, about porn. Your stories about secret hard drives, fantasy plot lines, illegal downloads, titillating Tumblr feeds, and giving porn up completely. We're sharing this episode as part of our month-long series called Our Sex (Mis)Educations. Find the entire series here. Sign up for our newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates about the show. We also let our subscribers know about upcoming live events and ways you can contribute your stories to Death, Sex & Money. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Want to tell us something? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Jan 201932min

How Do You Bring Up Your STI?

How Do You Bring Up Your STI?

If you have an STI, we've got an assignment for you. Send your voice memos to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Jan 20196min

Sexually Transmitted Secrets

Sexually Transmitted Secrets

STI rates are on the rise. But when we asked our listeners to tell us their stories about having an STI, what we heard about was how alone it makes you feel.  This episode is part of our month-long series called Our Sex (Mis)Educations. Find the entire series here. Do you have a photo that sums up a big workplace transition for you? We want to see it! Send it to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org or put it on Instagram with the hashtag #dsmatwork. See the photos we've collected so far @deathsexmoney on Instagram.  Sign up for our newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates about the show. We also let our subscribers know about upcoming live events and ways you can contribute your stories to Death, Sex & Money. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Want to tell us something? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Jan 201928min

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