How To Write An Effective Standard-Setting Text

Jor and Jar return for an amazing episode about going deep into peoples’ social media profiles. Jared says you know you’ve gone too far when you hit a bar mitzvah. At 16:57, they take a letter from a listener who went on several dates with a guy only for him to bail on one because he “needed to nap.” After some stalking, the listener discovers he was liking food pics on Insta. What gives? At 31:14, they take their Weird Sexual Encounter of the Week where a dental student stuck his finger in a girl’s mouth in an unsexual way. At 40;11, they take a letter from a listener who's displeased with her merely financially adequate boyfriend. He doesn’t have the drive to earn more. What should she do? At 53:25, they take another letter from a female listener who’s hooking up with a guy and he decides things are moving too fast. He says he wants to start from scratch and cut the sex out of the picture. Is this a thing? After they wrap up on some Red Flag or Dealbreakers including “still believes in the tooth fairy” and “has his own place, but he still has glowing stars on the ceiling.” This episode is brought to you by Leesa. Don’t miss Leesa’s limited time Labor Day Sale! Extended now through September 13: Get up to $235 off and free shipping on the Leesa mattress at Leesa.com/UUP and enter promo code UUP at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Sep 20181h 8min

Dub-J are back with an episode you don’t want to miss. At 3:54, they take an email from a listener who went to block a male creeper, but when she saw her blocked list, there were several girls only her BF of a few months could’ve put there. This segues into a brief discussion of those moments when your friend breaks up with their S/O and you are inclined to sh*t-talk them, but know there’s a real chance they’ll get right back together and you’ll be cut out forever. At 30:21, they take their Weird Sexual Encounter of the Week where a guy’s phone goes off during sex. If he answered it and took the call, that would’ve been OK, but what this listener describes is far more weird. At 41:15, they take another email from a listener asking about "GU guys," geographically undesirable dudes. This listener seems interested and hesitant at the same time about one such man. At 50;32, a male listener writes in who can’t seem to keep a woman for longer than two to four months. Is he being too hard on himself? At 1:00:13, they play some games including Red Flag or Dealbreaker: “when meeting their parents, they get into a huge screaming fight with them” and “they tried out for The Bachelor five times, but they never made it on.” This episode is brought to you by Leesa. Don’t miss Leesa’s limited time Labor Day Sale: Get up to $235 off and free shipping on the Leesa mattress at leesa.com/uup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Aug 20181h 17min

J squared are back. They start off discussing "Attached" by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, a book that casts people into three groups: the anxious, the avoidant, and the secure. At 30:04, they take their Weird Sexual Encounter of the Week where a girl describes an encounter with a guy who strategically refused to remove his pants. At 50:14, they take an email from a listener who asked a guy she's been dating for four months to attend a wedding with her. He refused. Now what? At 57:34, they take another letter from a girl listener whose date keeps letting her pick up the tab. They wrap up on some games including Red Flag or Dealbreaker: wears a fanny pack un-ironically and gets food all over their face on a first date. This episode is presented by Leesa. Go to Leesa.com/uup or use the promo code UUP at checkout to receive $165 off your purchase of a mattress, or $235 off your purchase of a Sapira. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Aug 20181h 21min

J and J are back. At 3:00, they take their first email about when to double text - if ever. Is sending five iMessages in a row the same as two texts? This segues into a general discussion about texting strategies. At 19:12, they take their Weird Sexual Encounter of the Week where a girl hooks up with a guy in her living room and subsequently locks her door. He ends up knocking on her roomie's door and it only gets weirder. At 28:11 they take their third email from a girl who is back on the apps and goes lukewarm on a guy. Yet, he seems to want to keep it together. What's really going on? At 44:53 they take another email from a listener whose BF drops that he doesn't want kids. Do guys know what this really means? Jared says they sure do. At 54:44, they wrap up on some games including Red Flag or Dealbreaker: Doesn't own a TV and they have no friends, but they're very close with their family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Aug 20181h 3min

After a brief discussion of "k" texts, J squared agrees that "Kk" is polite while "k" is extremely aggressive. At 12:37 they take a letter from a listener who is unsure if he should continue small talk with a suitor on a date that's a week in advance. This leads to a more general discussion of scheduling dates and how to broach small talk around them. At 38:40, they take a letter from a female listener who finally decides to swipe right on someone she knows IRL. After seeing him in a group setting after he swiped right back, she's unsure how to proceed. At 46:50. they take a letter from a listener who learned her boyfriend used to hook up with a 20-year-old when he was 30. She's a bit uncomfortable with it. Is he out of line? After they play some games including Red Flag or Dealbreaker: he or she has a framed selfie of themselves in their room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Aug 20181h 13min

J and J are back. At 3:11, they take an email about a boyfriend who has yet to post a picture of her on his Instagram. The thing is he posts A LOT. At 18:55 they take their Weird Sexual Encounter of the Week where a man wearing a retainer seems to misunderstand its role in sex. At 24:58, they take another email where a girlfriend goes through her boyfriend's texts and what she finds shakes her to the core. At 38:15 they take another letter from a listener whose friends' new guys went on vacation and upon their return, ghosted them. She's worried she'll suffer the same fate. At 51:35 they play some games including Red Flag or Dealbreaker: they have a tattoo of Daffy Duck pushing a lawnmower through their pubes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Aug 20181h 1min

Jared and Jordana talk about the general state of U Up? which is now recommended by some therapists. Jared tells the story of a good friend who is in a bit of an Insta situation. He thinks a girl might be into him but then she seemingly hid her Insta stories from him. At 24:22 they take a letter from a listener whose boyfriend is a lifelong friend. After a year of dating, however, he's not putting in any effort. At 38:22, they take a very literary Weird Sexual Encounter of the Week. At 42:02 they are joined by Justin McLeod, the founder of Hinge who has brought with him some serious dating tips generated by Hinge's data scientists. They talk about the history of Hinge, a new feature called "Most-Compatible", and the best time to double text someone. You'll never guess how many NYT Wedding Announcements mentioned Hinge in the last year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Juli 20181h 8min

J and J are back with an amazing 90 minute episode. At 4:40, a listener writes that she was “blindsided” by her boyfriend’s choice to end their relationship because he did not feel “needed." She asks what’s the right balance between being chill and needy? At 39:11, they take their Weird Sexual Encounter of the Week where a man asks if his girlfriend's strange sexual technique is a thing. At 48:30, a listener is perplexed about a guy who sent her a dick pic before they'd ever even dated. Should she still go out with him? At 57:34, a listener wants to know the right time to introduce your new boyfriend to your friends. They wrap up at 1:07:19 with a couple rounds of Red Flag or Deal Breaker including "showers once every three days" and "only eats at restaurants with a Michelin Star. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Juli 20181h 21min