E.105 - How to Recognize if Polyam is Not For Me with Maya Lane
Before anything else, I wanted to make sure that when approaching this topic of "is polyamory right for me" that I was speaking with someone who was accepting and affirming of polyam. Our guest Maya Lane has her own history with the poly life, and she explains all of the things that it has done for her life and why she is completely supportive of those who practice it. Maya shares the story of her now twenty-year marriage, a relationship which started out non-monogamous and stayed that way for over a decade. She further explains the factors that made her question whether polyamory was still the right choice for her, including balancing her children, family, career, and multiple relationships. Tune in to hear us talk about polysaturation, unresolved attachment wounds, and why it's important to work with a therapist like Maya when entering non-monogamy and get the help we need when the hidden, scary shadow pops up in our relationships. Learn more about Maya by going to www.mayalane.net and follow her on IG: @Maya_Lane_MFT !
27 Sep 202130min
E.104 - Practicing Open-Handed Love with Brittany Bannerman
Brittany Bannerman is one of those people that always had friends coming to her, telling her their deepest darkest, and she found herself wanting to help people navigate their mental health full-time. She's proud to be able to be part of people's healing journeys, and when polyamory was presented to her in some of the communities she was a part of, she discovered that it made a lot of sense to her and she wanted to support people shed monogamy and embrace their authentic selves. One principle Brittany learned along the way is what she calls open-handed love, which frees us from placing expectations and conditions on those we love. I challenged Brittany on this, arguing that expectations and conditions are normal and necessary in relationships, especially in cases of abuse. How can we practice unconditional love when someone has hurt us? Brittany explains how that works and why open-handed love still applies even in these situations, and even frees us from carrying the pain and anger from pain, infidelity, and abuse. Tune in to hear what Brittany has to say about these and other topics, and learn more about her by going to www.strengthcounselling.ca and follow her on IG: @strengthcounselling !
22 Sep 202133min
E.103 - The Art of Resilience & Expressive Arts Therapy with Tara Graviss
I've never considered myself much of an artist, but Tara Graviss has heard that from her clients before and it never stopped her from helping them! As it turns out, art is more than drawing and painting, and Tara's expertise is in finding which artistic expression works best for her clients and to use it as a tool to talk about their feelings. During our chat, Tara explains the difference between art therapy and expressive art therapy, that being who decides the meaning of the art that's being created. She further explains how expressive art therapy is a way to express our feelings without using words. Even if you're the type of person who can't draw stick figures, Tara can help you express yourself through other mediums, such as theater, music, dance, and interpretation. Tara's expertise is in trauma therapy, specifically for folx who have experience sexual trauma and abuse. For those who have tried traditional talk therapy, expressive art therapy might be an additional resource to explore and heal that trauma. Tara explains the process, often beginning as a group session that creates safe growth environments, later transitioning to private sessions. For someone who doesn't feel particularly artistic (me), Tara helped me see how everyone is an artist in some way or another. Tune in to hear some tips on how to get started in getting in touch with your body and start to heal from these challenging times! Learn more about Tara by following her on IG: @theartof_resilience and @theartoftantra !
21 Sep 202131min
E.102 - Developing Self Consent with Sophia Graham
How many of us have even considered what Self-Consent means? In this episode, educator and therapist Sophia Graham walks us through her journey to discovering how important self-consent became to her, and how it can help each and every one of us! Sophia challenges us to ask, "Who am I?" and refuse to leave that question answered only at the surface. She encourages us to explore ourselves more deeply than ever, bringing all of our various identities to light and finding out whether our identities are chosen or accepted by default. She shares her experience in consent workshops, including the tea metaphor that's often taught, and how the idea of consent goes beyond our interactions with others and includes our inner dialogue as well. Slowing down and centering consent with ourselves, asking more questions about each circumstance, and trusting our emotions to guide our decisions are just a few tips Sophia offers to help us learn the art of self-consent, and that is just the beginning! Tune in to hear what she has to say about contradicting desires, overcoming social anxiety, and recalibrating the hustle mentality to allow for a more fulfilled life. Learn more about Sophia at www.loveuncommon.com and follow her on Twitter @LoveUncommon !
20 Sep 202137min
E.101 - Why Heritage & History Matters with Tavo Alcoser
Tavo Alcoser is the lead vocalist of the touring band Jarabe Mexicano, whose mission includes outreach to underserved communities promoting diversity and inclusivity. Tavo is also a Latin American Studies major, and with his help I've been able to dig deeper into my roots and heritage. In this episode, Tavo shares his experiences growing up as a transborder resident--living in Tijuana, Mexico, and going to school in San Diego. He talks about why, despite living south of the border, he didn't learn Spanish until his high school years and even when he did, it was European Spanish, not Mexican! Tavo talks about his dual identity as a Mexican-American, and how San Diego felt like home for the majority of his early life, and how that changed in later years. We get to dive deep into what it means to be Chicano, and how we each had struggles when trying to find where we belong in the decolonization movement of Chicano culture. This is such a deep and personally meaningful episode, and I want to give a huge shoutout and thank you to Tavo, whose insight has helped me connect deeper with my Mexican roots as I work to create the most inclusive community I can here on the pod! Learn more about Tavo at www.jarabemexicano.com and follow him on FB: @TavoAlcoserPerformingArtist !
16 Sep 202133min
E.100 - It's All About the (Group) Relationship! with Carrie Sackett
Today's guest Carrie Sacket practices social therapeutics in the great state of New York and in this episode she explains exactly why social therapeutics uses a group-centered approach to therapy. Carrie explains how, as social creatures, we human beings can find the both the cause and the cure to our emotional turmoil through social interaction. Within the context of polyamory, the group relationship is of even more importance. Carrie talks about how polyamory is full of people who write their own scripts, and how we can create the environments to have important conversations within our polycules. Carrie shares some personal experiences within the groups that she leads, and how people are able to learn to sit with discomfort, allowing for greater vulnerability and deeper conversation and connection. Learn more about Carrie at www.coachingzpd.com and follow on FB: @ZPDCoaching !
15 Sep 202135min
E.99 - Adjusting to Living Alone & Solopolyamory with James Sias
I was married and lived with my wife for 6 years until late March 2021. This episode is some of my personal story, where I'm currently at in my own polyamory journey, and my coming to terms with solopolyamory. I talk about the process of decoupling or detangling for new couples, my understanding of what Solopoly usually means, and whether or not I actually identify as SoPo. Much of my life was spent in fear of being alone, but I've learned to become more comfortable on my own and I talk about how I got here (spoiler: hobbies!). Follow me everywhere @practicingpolya and sign up to be a guest at www.practicingpolyamory.com !
14 Sep 202136min
E.98 - Practicing Nonjudgmental Curiosity with Justine Guzman
Justine Guzman is a therapist out of the Dallas-Fort Worth area who shares her story of discovering non-monogamy and how it has affected her various relationships. We talk about her progress in being publicly open about her polyamory, even loud about it sometimes, and why living openly authentic is important to her. Justine shares the many roles that her intersecting identities play in her personal growth, and we commiserate on how our friends, family, and parents have reacted to our polyamorous identities. In her practice, Justine adamantly embraces and encourages a non-judgmental approach to our emotions. She gives us tips on how we can examine our feelings objectively, like scientists, and how to move past intense emotions and separate ourselves from the situation long enough to get our emotions under control. Definitely a lot of great nuggets and conversation in this episode! Learn more about Justine at www.stereo.com/gumdropjones and follow on IG: @beautifulstackofpancakes !
13 Sep 202137min
