Beth Upton

From deep meditative absorption with Pa Auk Sayadaw, to sitting in caves in southern Spain in the company of drug addicts and criminals, Beth Upton has led a most amazing spiritual life!

In 2008, Beth went to Pa Auk Monastery in Myanmar to take a deeper plunge into the spiritual life, and she remained there for five years. She cultivated deep states of jhāna under his tutelage, and enhanced powers of perception.

Beth describes the peace and happiness of jhānic states in compelling terms. She contrasts the fleeting happiness born of satisfying sense desire, with the deep blissfulness of jhānic states that develop with a mind of non-clinging. In the Pa Auk system, one turns the deeply concentrated mind towards seeing beyond concepts, into the moment-by-moment change of materiality and mentality, which leads to some quite unusual experiences.

After leaving Myanmar, Beth—still in robes—ended up living in a series of caves in southern Spain. These caves “were inhabited by addicts and criminals. It's like the Gypsy suburb!” But no one gave her any problems, and eventually some even approached her asking to be taught meditation.

After she disrobed in 2018, the transition to lay life was not completely smooth. Around this time, she became involved in a non-sexual, but abusive relationship, which Beth opens up about in a vulnerable and honest way. It was the most suffering she ever experienced, and at the time did not see how any of the skills she had learned on the cushion could help her. She had spent so long practicing to dissolve concepts of self, that her “self” did not know how to respond when the abuser crossed the line.

Eventually, she worked her way out of that challenging relationship, and in retrospect learned a lot. Now, both as a meditator and as a teacher, she is trying to integrate meditative skills with life skills, balancing a “soft inner, trusting core” with a “harder, protective, outer layer.”

Pa Auk Sayadaw has encouraged her inclination to teach in the West, and told her to go with the flow and teach from her heart, which provides more flexibility. In that spirit, she bases her teaching on the Pa Auk method, but tailors her instruction to individual meditators.