#89 - Parenting Without Losing Your Mind... or Your Marriage

#89 - Parenting Without Losing Your Mind... or Your Marriage

Becoming a Family: The Greatest Adventure of All Nothing can quite prepare you for the realities of parenthood. Life with babies and small children is, for most couples, a total shock to the system. As joyful and meaningful as this stage of life is, it can be very difficult. If you aren't thoughtful and intentional about what you're doing, parenthood can quickly become a chaotic, frustrating experience -- and take a huge toll on your marriage. As a marriage counselor, I'm always thrilled when smart, proactive couples show up for premarital counseling. My only wish is that more would show up for "pre-baby counseling." Because having a baby is a much bigger deal, emotionally and relationally, than getting hitched. Unfortunately, there is no such thing. Do a quick google search and about the only thing you find about "preparing for a baby" has to do with fitness, nutrition, and the ocean of baby-gear that you could acquire. Having kids changes everything, but it's hard to imagine what those changes will be until you actually do it. Most couples experience challenges that never occurred to them were even possible, while they were spending leisurely days shopping for baby furniture and talking about how much fun family fishing trips will be. (Or were consumed with riding the rollercoaster of protracted infertility). From the first day that little bundle is home, they are both faced with needing to make major changes around everything from they way they communicate, to expectations about what should be happening, to a higher need for teamwork, to establishing new systems so everything runs smoothly, to what role they each take with each other and as parents. Sprinkle in some anxiety, post part depression, sleep deprivation, no game plan, and a screaming baby and it can get tense pretty fast. It's a major life transition, and a lot to deal with. And if you just let it go, and hope for the best it's quite possible to become a statistical average and not enjoy the experience that that much. Research on marital satisfaction over the family life cycle has shown that there is a trend towards lower enjoyment of married life after having kids. Here's the depressing graph: www.growingself.com/parenting-without-losing-your-mind-yourself-or-your-marriage Parenting Together CAN Be Joyful That graph does not have to be YOUR reality. You are not a statistical average. You are a person with free will, choices, and you're already taking control over the situation by educating yourself. You get to be in charge of your life, and your family experience. I'm here as a wife, mom, and marriage and family therapist to tell you that life with kids doesn't have to be difficult, and it does not need to negatively impact your marriage. In fact, if you put even half as much time into figuring out your post-baby game plan (and your own personal growth opportunities) as you do into childbirth preparation classes you can avoid many of the most common pitfalls of new parents. Embracing the opportunities to grow that this phase of life offers will expand you. Parenthood is truly a vehicle to personal evolution. Even more importantly, when you intentionally grow skills in a few key areas you can cultivate a stronger marriage than you had pre-baby: You can have better communication, stronger agreement, more teamwork, and more fun than ever before. Except that it can be even more meaningful, important, and love drenched -- and probably messier -- that you ever imagined. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to be sharing some tips about where to where to start if you want to have a peaceful home, a strong marriage, great communication, easy kids, be on the same page with your partner, and have a shared vision for your family that is rooted in your core values. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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#376 - Communication Issues? What to Do!

#376 - Communication Issues? What to Do!

Are communication issues making your relationship feel hard? Most couples who arrive in couples counseling tell me that they want to improve communication in their relationships. The tricky part is knowing what's at the root of "communication issues," which can have so many causes, from people pleasing, to emotional reactivity, to defensiveness. Usually the answer is a combination.  If you would like a new perspective on communication challenges, this episode is for you. I hope you find it helpful.  Love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — If you would like support from a good couples counselor to improve communciation in your relationship, schedule a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

20 Nov 20231h 9min

#375 - What to Do When Your Partner Pulls Away

#375 - What to Do When Your Partner Pulls Away

Is your partner pulling away? It can be an unnerving experience, especially when you don't know why your partner seems checked out lately. But you can use this as an opportunity to gain clarity about how your partner is feeling in your relationship and start a conversation that brings you closer today.  Join me for a discussion all about what to do when your partner pulls away. You'll learn about some of the common reasons that people grow emotionally distant in their relationships, how to start the conversation, and how to address some of the root issues before they pose a threat to your relationship.  I hope you'll find it helpful.  Love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — If you are ready to get support from a really good marriage counselor, schedule a free consultation with a Growing Self couples therapist: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

13 Nov 20231h 2min

#374 - How to Develop a Secure Attachment Style

#374 - How to Develop a Secure Attachment Style

Having a secure attachment style allows you to feel close and connected to others, while keeping your emotional independence and sense of self firmly intact. But if you weren't lucky enough to develop a secure attachment style as a child, how can you become securely attached as an adult?  Luckily, there are some effective strategies for "earning" secure attachment, and this episode will show you the way. I am discussing the qualities of a securely attached person and the steps you can take to address your attachment patterns and gain connection and freedom.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — If you would like support in becoming more securely attached, schedule a free consultation with an attachment-informed clinician on my team: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

6 Nov 20231h 5min

#373 - Breaking Free from Old Relationship Patterns

#373 - Breaking Free from Old Relationship Patterns

Do you have habitual ways of showing up in your relationships that feel hard to change? We all do! Old relationship patterns are at the root of so many struggles, from dating emotionally unavailable partners, to feeling mistreated again and again. Getting clear about what your relationship patterns are is the first step in shifting them, so you can have a better experience and create the love and connection you deserve.  If you want to learn how to break free from old relationship patterns, this episode is for you! I hope you'll find it helpful.  Love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — If you are interested in doing this work with a Growing Self clinician, start by scheduling a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

30 Okt 202350min

#372 - How to Stop Overthinking feat. Dr. John Delony

#372 - How to Stop Overthinking feat. Dr. John Delony

There are few things worse than wishing you could stop ruminating about the past or worrying about the future, and not knowing how. Rumination happens when our minds aren’t at peace with not having all the answers. You’ll chew on a painful memory, a lost relationship, or an uncertain future, trying to find solve the problem or find “the answer” that will make it all make sense.  Unfortunately, there is no benefit to rumination. It's not productive problem solving. All rumination does is add to your anxiety, drain your energy, and often, make you feel bad about yourself.  So, how can you put an end to the obsessive, repetitive thoughts? This on "How to Stop Ruminating" will help! My guest is Dr. John Delony, a mental health expert, author, and host of The Dr. John Delony Show. He’s sharing some of his top tips from his own research and life experience on how to stop ruminating, once and for all.  I hope you’ll join us! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com  Start your journey of growth today: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

23 Okt 202359min

#371 - How to Get Out of Your Own Way

#371 - How to Get Out of Your Own Way

What’s standing in between you and your most important goals? It might not be what you think.  In this episode you'll learn about the hidden, inner obstacles that most of us face, and that can become barriers to our self actualization unless we know how to handle them. Today, you'll get insight into yourself, learn how to get out of your own way, and how to make the shifts that will help you create the love, happiness, and success that you deserve — with special guest, Dr. Sophie Mort.  I hope you’ll join us!  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com PS: I have SO much more support for your growth and personal evolution: tons of free resources, articles, and podcast playlists, all for you, on the blog at GrowingSelf.com

16 Okt 202352min

#370 - Low Sex Drive Ruining Your Relationship? What to do!

#370 - Low Sex Drive Ruining Your Relationship? What to do!

Is low sex drive ruining your relationship? All long term couples experience sexual dry spells, whether it's due to stress, hormonal changes, emotional disconnection, or simply being too tired to get frisky at the end of a long day (pro tip: sex does not have to happen at bed time!).  Luckily, it doesn't matter how often you're "doing it" — what matters is that you and your partner know how to navigate periods of low sex drive while keeping your relationship healthy and strong.  It's totally possible, and this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast will show you the way! My guests are Vanessa and Xander Marin, authors of "Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations that Will Transform Your Love Life." Vanessa is a sex therapist, and along with her partner Xander, she's sharing her top tips for keeping low sex drive from ruining your relationship — and for reigniting your sexual spark. I hope you'll join us! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby https://www.growingself.com/  Ps: Ready to transform your relationship? Let's talk: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/  ------

9 Okt 202359min

#369 - How to Talk to Your Partner about Couples Counseling

#369 - How to Talk to Your Partner about Couples Counseling

Is it time to have “The Talk?” Getting into couples counseling may be the best choice you ever make for your relationship… but first, you have to talk to your partner about going to couples counseling, and that can be tricky.  This podcast is about how you can approach this conversation in a way that gives you the best shot at getting your relationship the help it needs. I hope you’ll join me! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

2 Okt 20231h 6min

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