#109 - Why You Keep Falling in Love With The Wrong Person

#109 - Why You Keep Falling in Love With The Wrong Person

Do you attract the wrong people? Do you keep having toxic relationships? If so, you're not alone. You'd be surprised at how many people come to us for life coaching, breakup recovery, individual therapy, or dating coaching hoping to achieve one goal: Having a healthy relationship. (And how to stop getting involved in unhealthy ones). They show up to therapy or life coaching because they have, over time (or after the latest heartbreaking breakup) become aware that they are engaging in "non-ideal relationship patterns," over and over again. They keep getting involved with narcissists, or people who treat them badly. They keep choosing emotionally unavailable men, or aggressive / controlling women. Whatever the sad pattern is, they want it to stop. Above all else, they want to work on themselves to heal, grow, and ensure that NEXT time they get involved with someone they can love and be loved in a healthy relationship with a good person. And so we dig in. Identifying Your Blind Spots The first stop in figuring out why you keep choosing the wrong man or wrong woman is uncovering what unconscious motivations are driving your choices. Getting outside help in understanding your toxic relationship patterns can be a wise move, because of the entirely subconscious nature of the problem. You don't consciously choose bad relationships -- no one does. You choose what feel in the moment, are good relationships.... and then wind up having bad experiences. (That are often mysteriously, eerily similar to the past experiences you thought you were trying to avoid). Unhealthy relationship patterns can happen for many reasons. Sometimes it's old, unfinished emotional business from the past. Other times, your self-esteem or feelings of self-worth can get in the way. Yet other times, the root of the problem is imbedded in way you communicate or set boundaries with others. Because you are a complex, unique, individual, your truth will not be exactly the same as everyone else's. Avoiding Toxic Relationships However, there is one very common thing that most people have done at least once, and which will almost always lead to heartbreak: Falling victim to "Black Hat Love." Learning how to spot the one fatal factor that makes you most vulnerable to getting involved in toxic relationships can help you stop the madness, and finally create the happy, healthy relationship you're longing for. And that's what I'll be teaching you about on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Have follow up questions for me? Leave them in the comments @ https://wp.me/p6UUlQ-92A xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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#271 - Emotional Flooding

#271 - Emotional Flooding

Have you ever wondered why you lose it sometimes, and say things you regret later? Or why you get to a certain point where you just cannot talk anymore, and shut down? These are both examples of emotional flooding: Lashing out and withdrawing are two sides of the same coin. Both can be disastrous for your relationship. On today’s episode we’re talking about the reality of emotional flooding, and how to manage it effectively when you’re “coming in hot.”  Join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

8 Nov 202158min

#270 - How to Stop Emotional Invalidation

#270 - How to Stop Emotional Invalidation

Feeling invalidated is at the core of communication issues. When couples fight, they're usually fighting to be heard. Feeling shut down, or bulldozed by your partner is not just frustrating — if it happens routinely it can damage your relationship. Today, learn why emotional invalidation happens and what you can do to stop it. By the end of the episode, you’ll have some actionable takeaways to help you feel heard, valued, and understood. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

1 Nov 20211h 9min

#269 - The Devil Inside: Self-Limiting Beliefs

#269 - The Devil Inside: Self-Limiting Beliefs

What you believe about yourself holds so much power. You have the power to create a really wonderful life for yourself. Or, you can be tricked into believing the devil inside: Your self-limiting beliefs. Self-limiting beliefs are so dangerous because they often masquerade as "truth." But buying into them only creates pain, and damages your self-esteem, your career, and your relationships. On this episode of the podcast, I'm teaching you how to identify your limiting beliefs and overcome them, so you can get back in control.  Happy Halloween!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

25 Okt 20211h

#268 - Mind Body Connection

#268 - Mind Body Connection

Your mind-body connection is powerful. Sometimes the most direct path to improving your emotional wellbeing isn't through therapy — it’s through lifestyle changes. Other times your physical health suffers because of the way you’re thinking or feeling. The way you think, feel emotionally, and your physical wellness are all interconnected.  Tune in today to gain insight into your mind-body connection, and get actionable strategies to support every aspect of your wellness. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Okt 202152min

#267 - How to Appreciate The Partner You Have

#267 - How to Appreciate The Partner You Have

It's great to work on your relationship, but sometimes people can get so over-focused on relationship problems they stop appreciating their partner’s positive qualities... to the detriment of the dynamic. In contrast, feeling love and appreciation for your partner — as they are — is the royal road to growth and happiness for both of you.  When do you advocate for change? When do you lean into “appreciative acceptance?” That’s what we’re discussing on today’s episode!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

11 Okt 202151min

#266 - Love Your Body

#266 - Love Your Body

How to love your body? Although your body is a miraculous engine of life that supports everything you do, it’s easy to get judgy about the way your body looks. Or whether or not it’s as “good” or worthy of love as someone else’s body.  These unhelpful ideas crush your self-esteem, and can lead to truly unhealthy diet and exercise habits.  Let’s all stop. Today, learn how to stop feeling bad about your body, and start moving towards self-compassion, appreciation for your body, and health at any size.  Join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

4 Okt 202145min

#265 - How to Deal With Stress at Work

#265 - How to Deal With Stress at Work

Dealing with stress at work? Whether you’re working from home or back in the office, burnout and career ambivalence are rampant right now. Help is here: On today's episode I’m visiting with an expert career coach who can help you advocate for yourself, set healthy boundaries on the job, manage work related stress and anxiety, make empowered career decisions, and, if you’re an employer, learn how to keep your people happy and healthy.  All for you!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

27 Sep 202156min

#264 How Do You Get Over Your Ex? Psychology-Backed Strategies That Work

#264 How Do You Get Over Your Ex? Psychology-Backed Strategies That Work

Still stuck on your ex? Like, no matter what you do — they’re still there — in your head, in your heart, maybe even in your dreams? I see you. And more importantly, I understand why. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I’m getting real about something that so many people secretly struggle with: how do you get over your ex when it feels absolutely impossible to let go. Whether your breakup was recent or it’s been way too long and you're still stuck, this episode will help you understand what's really happening in your brain, your body, and your heart — and what to do about it. From the neuroscience of love and loss, to the emotional addiction that keeps you craving contact, I’m diving into the real reasons it’s hard to move on — and the powerful, research-backed steps you can take to finally feel free. Timestamps: 00:00 - How to Get Over Your Ex 05:05 - Understanding the Obsessive Phenomenon 06:55 - Biological Basis of Love and Addiction 11:26 - The Psychological and Emotional Basis of Obsession 13:35 - Accepting the End of a Relationship 21:06 - Strategies to Let Go and Move On 27:01 - Mindfulness and Thought Replacement Techniques 30:16 - Heal from Heartbreak If you resonated with this podcast episode, that tells me something important: You’re not just hurting — you’re trying. You’re searching for answers, hoping for relief, and longing for a way to finally stop feeling so consumed by the past. You’re already on the path forward — even if it doesn’t feel like it yet. Healing doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you start making intentional choices — to understand yourself more deeply, to process what happened, and to take meaningful steps toward letting go. That might sound like a tall order right now, but the first step is easier than you think. 👉 Start by taking my Heartbreak Recovery Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You?This quiz is a research-informed tool that will show you exactly where you are in your healing process and what you need to do next. Whether you're stuck in obsessive thoughts, overwhelmed with grief, or just beginning to feel ready to move on, your quiz results will give you clarity and direction.  👉 If you’re ready to talk to someone who truly gets it, schedule a free consultation with a coach on our team. Sometimes you just need a safe space to say what’s on your heart — especially when friends are tired of hearing about your ex. At Growing Self, our breakup recovery coaches are licensed therapists who specialize in helping people heal from heartbreak. We know how to guide you from this place of pain into the peace and self-confidence you deserve.  You can do this— and your next chapter starts now.  Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who is struggling to move on, I invite you to share this episode with them to remind them that they’re not alone and healing is possible.

20 Sep 202134min

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