#109 - Why You Keep Falling in Love With The Wrong Person

Here at Growing Self our therapy and life coaching clients are generally successful, high-achieving people on a path of personal growth. Because of this, I have a soft spot for the superstars, and I know that being a go-getting, productive, conscientious, high-achieving, intelligent, successful person has many, many benefits. You get things done, you're on top of it, and you are probably extremely successful in many areas of life. And... it's probably hard for you to relax. How to Relax When You're an Over-Achiever   Today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is just for you, my high-achieving compadre. We'll be discussing: The mind-body connection that makes you feel stressed out even when you're relaxing New ideas to help you prioritize your self-care and relaxation The real source of stress (it's not what you think... except when it is) Why "relaxing" behaviors (massages, hot baths, vacations) won't help you truly de-stress How to combat the stressful thinking styles that will interfere with true relaxation The skills and strategies that will actually help you reduce stress, relax, and restore your mind, body and soul. I hope this discussion helps you achieve the rest and relaxation that you deserve, and that it helps you (paradoxically) become even more productive, creative, forward-thinking and successful as a result! From me to you, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com PS: Follow up questions? Click to GrowingSelf.com to ask in the comments section of this post!

22 Mars 202158min

Friend, this topic is SO important I'm putting it back in front of you again. Here's the deal: Even people in strong, satisfying relationships can develop feelings of attraction for another person. It's part of the human experience. These feelings can be transient and meaningless... OR they could destroy your life, if you follow them.  Are crushes innocent, or on-ramps to an affair? Can you be "friends" with someone you have a crush on, without risking your relationship? What should you do when you're married, but have a crush on someone else? Oh, the questions! It happens: people in happy, healthy, committed relationships can still develop crushes on others. However, smart, self-aware people in committed relationships that they care about need to handle these maturely and with wisdom. That's what you'll learn how to do on today's show. What To Do (And Not Do) When You Are Married And Have a Crush Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm talking all about how to handle yourself and your relationship when you have a crush on someone else. We'll be discussing: The mechanics of a crush; how and why crushes develop The difference between a crush and a platonic friendship Why happy, committed married people can have crushes on others How crushes can turn into something more serious How to use self awareness, integrity, and honesty to protect your marriage How to use your crush experience in order to add energy and intimacy into your relationship Warning signs that your crush is developing into something else Why extramarital affairs are always a bad idea, and rarely end well How to stop having a crush on someone else How to avoid embarrassment and professional ruin if you have a crush on a coworker How to protect your relationship and stay true to your values even when you're having feelings for another. All this and more on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com Ps: As we discussed in this episode, part of your action plan needs to be leaning towards your partner in an authentic and emotionally intimate way, and that calls for excellent communication skills. To support you in this, please help yourself to my free two part communication skills training, "Commucation That Connects." I made this for you!  ... LMB

15 Mars 202155min

If you're feeling a little rusty talking to people, it's time for a refresher course on how to communicate with confidence and charisma.  Today's guest knows all about how to be interesting and fun to talk to, especially under pressure. Kristen Carney is a stand-up comedian, comedy writer, and coach who's specialty is helping people be comfortable with others, create a positive impression, and be more confident in conversations. In this episode, you’ll learn how to create "charismatic conversations" that breathe life into relationships. Join us!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

8 Mars 202155min

It can be hard to trust yourself, particularly around intuition. Many of us, especially women, minimize our feelings, explain away our concerns, and doubt ourselves... to our detriment. Trusting yourself is vital to making your way confidently through the world. It's also true that not all thoughts and feelings are trustworthy. It's confusing! Being able to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition will help you trust yourself, so that you can move forward fearlessly. Learn how, join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

1 Mars 20211h 2min

Satisfying, stable relationships. A meaningful, prosperous career. Feeling good about yourself and your life. What do they all have in common? Emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the hidden "x-factor" that makes everything work. Without it, you can spin in frustration and failure... and never know why. Emotional intelligence is crucial for your love, happiness and success. In today's episode, find out how your emotional intelligence skills stack up, and learn actionable strategies to improve emotional intelligence — starting today. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

22 Feb 202156min

Love is love, and the bonds of attachment transcend identity. At the same time, gay and lesbian relationships face unique challenges and stressors — from without, and from within. On this episode of the podcast, my colleague, LGBTQ+ relationship-affirming marriage and family therapist Kensington Osmond shares compassionate strategies that promote growth and healing for gay and lesbian individuals and couples. Empowerment, healthy-identity development, growing up gay in the context of a strict religion, dealing with a non-supportive family of origin, how unresolved internalized shame can show up in relationships — we're tackling all of it today. Join us! (And join the conversation in the comments of this post!) xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

8 Feb 20211h

Are your subconscious "thinking traps" getting in the way of your finding the right person? On today's episode of the podcast, NPR's dating expert Damona Hoffman is here to help you get out of your own way and find the love you're looking for. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

1 Feb 20211h 9min

It's effortless for kind, competent, hard-working people to say "yes" to all the demands for their time and attention. But just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. If you're not setting healthy boundaries around your time and energy, the result can be mental and emotional depletion, burnout, and disconnection from what truly matters. On this episode of the podcast I'm talking with Becky Morrison about how to get clear about your priorities and set healthy boundaries. Learning how to (selectively!) say "yes" only to what's most important makes amazing things happen. Learn how — join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

25 Jan 202148min