#169 - Becoming Emotionally Healthy

#169 - Becoming Emotionally Healthy

BECOMING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY: Feelings. They happen to everyone, all the time. And yet, we don't always acknowledge them or talk about our feelings, much less take guidance from our emotions. Particularly in our culture, individuals and couples on a quest of "Happiness" can come to believe that being happy means being relatively free of dark emotions, like anger, sadness or fear. In fact, the opposite is true: Research shows that the happiest, most emotionally healthy people are actually the ones who are most comfortable with the full range of their emotions. Emotionally healthy people tend to be both self-accepting and self-aware: They know how they feel, and they have a great deal of tolerance and self-compassion when they're not feeling so great emotionally. They don't try to avoid bad feelings, and they also know how to (gently, appropriately) support themselves through challenging times. Emotional Health: Finding a Balance Emotionally healthy people tend to be attuned to their emotions (and those of others). They know how to "lean in" to hard feelings with acceptance and without judgment. However, even though they're fully connected with their feelings they may not always react or take action from their emotions. A core component of authentic emotional health is knowing which feelings to listen to and which feelings to leave alone. It can be hard to develop emotional health and learn how to stay in balance between taking wisdom from your emotions, but not always "obeying them. Learning how to tell the difference between helpful and unhelpful feelings, helps you develop self-compassion, self-understanding, and self-control. Becoming Emotionally Healthy is a Personal Growth Process A key aspect of holistic personal growth is learning how to have an authentic, self-aware, and sensitive relationship with your own emotions. This kind of powerful personal growth work often addresses: The life experiences that shaped your emotional reality and core beliefs Acknowledging any unfinished business with the past Identifying and understanding your unique emotional triggers Figuring out which feelings are guiding you helpfully Using your emotions to connect with your hopes, dreams and values Pinpointing the emotions that are getting in your way Developing self-compassionand acceptance of feelings without judgment Learning how to cope with big, dark emotions in a healthy way Learning how to stay in balance emotionally, no matter what's going on It's a lot! While this type of personal growth work often takes months (if not years) of focused attention in therapy or life coaching,it's so worth it. Becoming emotionally healthy is a foundational life skill for anyone on the path of self-actualization. The Benefits of Cultivating Emotional Health Learning how to manage your emotions skillfully allows you to have better relationships with others, feel happier, improve your self-esteem, and also create a meaningful, values-based life for yourself. It's worth talking about, and that's where we're going together today on The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. In addition to talking through all of the above, I'm answering some specific listener questions like: "How do I get my emotions under control and stop being so reactive?" "How do I stop allowing my anxiety to get in the way of my relationships?" "How do I feel less numb and 'blah' and more engaged with my life?"” All for YOU, on this episode of the podcast. See you there! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Resources I mentioned on today's show include the "Happy Heart" unit of my online Happiness Class, as well as a self-soothing breathing technique I shared on IGTV. PPS: Once again, I recorded this episode LIVE on Instagram so that I could answer some real-time listener questions. If you'd like to join next time, follow me @drlisamariebobbyand you'll see me LIVE in your stories (almost) every Monday at 12pm MT. Hope to see you there! LMB

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#361 - Avoid the Communication Killer: Negative Sentiment Override

#361 - Avoid the Communication Killer: Negative Sentiment Override

There’s a sneaky relationship killer lurking in your communication… but you’ve probably never heard of it.  Negative sentiment override happens when you get into the habit of reacting negatively to your partner because of bad past experiences, even when it’s not really called for in the present. It makes it hard to let go of the past and make positive changes for the future, and it can keep you feeling bogged down in unsatisfying relationship patterns.  In this episode, I’m teaching you what negative sentiment override is, why it happens, and how you can break the cycle for a stronger relationship.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

7 Aug 202346min

#360 - How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers

#360 - How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers

You know that coworker who drives you nuts? Whether you’re dealing with a controlling coworker, a deadweight, or a bully, difficult people in the workplace can drag down your job satisfaction and performance.  So what can you do? This episode is all about how you can deal with the difficult coworker in your life and continue to succeed at work, no matter what.  I hope you’ll tune in! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

31 Juli 202359min

#359 - Why You Miss Your Ex (and What to Do About It)

#359 - Why You Miss Your Ex (and What to Do About It)

If you’re going through a breakup, you know that missing your Ex is one of the toughest parts of the heartbreak experience. Even if you know the relationship is ultimately not right for you, it’s normal to look back on the happy memories and feel sad that your Ex can no longer be in your life. You might even question whether breaking up was the right choice, or if you should reach out and try to be friends. This episode will help you understand why you miss your Ex, what it means, and how you can transform those difficult moments into something that moves you forward. I hope you’ll find it helpful and healing.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

24 Juli 20231h 3min

#358 - Communication Skills: Reacting Versus Responding

#358 - Communication Skills: Reacting Versus Responding

We've all been there: Your partner says something that just inflames you, and you say something you regret later. Or you instinctively defend yourself and withdraw when things get tense, rather than leaning into a healthy and productive courageous conversation. We all know that being able to react vs. respond is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, and healthy relationships. But that can be easier said than done in the middle of a heated conflict.  When you’re frustrated, hurt, or stressed, you might raise your voice, say something you don’t mean, or make an impulsive decision with long-lasting consequences. All of this is bad news for you and for your relationships. But learning the art of being responsive versus reactive leads to deeper, healthier connections, and a life that’s directed by your true values.  That's what we're talking about on today's show. I hope you'll tune in! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

17 Juli 202354min

#357 - Are You In an Emotionally Enmeshed Relationship?

#357 - Are You In an Emotionally Enmeshed Relationship?

If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner, or work WAY harder than you should to make sure they're comfy (often at the expense of your own needs), my friend, you may be in an emotionally enmeshed relationship.  In fact, over many years of experience as a couples counselor and relationship coach, I've often found that the true underlying issue behind many relationship conflicts is due to emotional enmeshment and it's sister, codependence. This creates resentment, reactivity, pursuit/withdrawal dynamics and more. Good relationships require individuation, and a healthy self awareness of personal responsibility and healthy boundaries. So how can you create a healthier connection? That’s what this episode is all about! I’m talking about what enmeshed relationships look like, why they’re problematic, and how you can bring your relationship back into balance if emotional enmeshment is creeping in.  I hope you’ll join me! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

10 Juli 202344min

#356 - Power Struggles In Relationships

#356 - Power Struggles In Relationships

Do you feel like you and your partner get stuck in a power struggle where you feel one way, they feel another, and you just cannot compromise?  Today's episode brings real-world relationship advice to help you communicate differently, so that you can break through the gridlock and get back on the same page. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

3 Juli 202345min

#355 - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

#355 - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

When someone we love, trust, and rely on betrays us, it creates a deep, painful wound that doesn’t always heal on its own. As a couples therapist who often works with people around heartbreak recovery after a bad breakup or divorce, and helping couples heal after infidelity, and even in my work as a dating coach, I know that betrayal trauma, or “relationship trauma,” is real, and it can linger on for months or even years without the right care, just like other kinds of trauma.  Even though relationship trauma is very common, it isn’t always recognized by our culture, or even by the people who are suffering from it. I hope this episode helps shift that for you. When you acknowledge the betrayal and how it impacted you, the door to healing and growth cracks open.  If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, I hope listening to this episode helps you gain newfound compassion for what you’ve been through, as well as guidance and direction for how to heal and move forward. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more help around repairing trust and healing after wounding relationship experiences, check out my Heartbreak Recovery and Affair Recovery”collections of articles and podcasts.

26 Juni 202358min

#354 - How to Make a Career Transition

#354 - How to Make a Career Transition

Making a career transition can be a daunting task, especially if you’ve spent years building your expertise in a particular field only to discover you don’t love your work.  How can you know what career would actually feel more satisfying? If you already know where you'd like to go, how can you begin getting there? If you are ready for a career change, this episode will give you some pointers on where to begin. It’s a conversation between myself and my colleague Susan H., M.A., LPCC, a career counselor, coach, and professional development expert on our team at Growing Self. Susan’s point of view on career change is refreshing and insightful — I hope you’ll tune in!  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on changing careers with confidence, check out my “Career Clarity” collection of articles and podcasts.

19 Juni 20231h 1min

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