#169 - Becoming Emotionally Healthy

Getting into couples counseling is a fantastic idea... but you have to know how to engage with the process in order to have a good experience. Unfortunately, it's very easy to make one or more of the super common mistakes that can sabotage couples counseling.  I hope this episode helps you avoid that outcome, and get the help for your relationship you need and deserve. My guest is Jenna P., a marriage counselor and relationship coach on our team at Growing Self. She’s sharing her perspective on the seven things that can sabotage couples counseling, and how to have an experience in counseling that truly benefits you and your relationship.  I hope you’ll join us.  Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on improving your relationship, check out our “Relationship Repair” collection of articles and podcasts.

12 Juni 20231h 5min

Wondering how you can help someone get help? You have the power to have a positive impact on the lives of the people you care about, and this episode will show you how. We all will be a concerned friend or family member at some point in our lives. And while none of us has the power to rescue others, fight their battles, or override their choices, we do have an important role to play in the lives of the people we care about: holding up a mirror that reflects what we see, with compassion and honesty. That is how you help someone get help, and today, I’m talking about the best way to do that. Join me! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — You can find more advice like this in our “personal growth” and “healthy relationships” collections of articles and podcasts. I hope you’ll check them out — they’re there for you.

5 Juni 20231h 8min

Many people who are unhappy with their working lives are looking for answers. They see other people getting ahead and loving their work, and they wonder why they feel so stuck and unsatisfied. I can tell you that the missing ingredient is never some mysterious quality that makes some people shinier and more successful than others — although I know it can look that way from the outside. More often, the difference is pretty basic: Some people are skilled at professional development planning, and others aren’t yet.  In general, most of us don’t spend enough time planning our lives. We’re too frazzled by the endless to-do list they need to get through to ever zoom out and consider the big picture: Where do I want to be in ten years, and how exactly do I plan to get there? And, most important, how do the things I’m spending my time on every day fit into that plan? If you don’t have an answer to those questions yet, this episode is for you. I hope it inspires you to begin thinking about your own career vision and how you’ll bring it to fruition. My guest is Ronni M., a career coach and counselor on our team at Growing Self. She’s sharing her own career story, as well as the framework she uses to help people like you plan and create professional lives they love.  I hope you’ll join us.  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — If you’d like more articles and podcasts on building your career, check out my “professional growth” collection of articles and podcasts.

29 Maj 20231h 5min

Knowing how to deal with regret helps you build a life that is authentic, ethical, and meaningful. Without regret, you wouldn’t have good information about who you are, what you need, and where you have opportunities to grow.  But if you don’t know how to deal with regret in a healthy way, it’s easy to become trapped in a vortex of guilt and shame that makes you feel hopeless, defeated, or irredeemably flawed. But it’s possible to create something positive out of regret, by transforming it into an opportunity to grow and evolve. This episode of the podcast is all about how you can do that. I hope it helps you find the opportunities in your regrets, and move forward with self-compassion and new wisdom.  Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on making friends with dark emotions like regret, check our “emotional wellness” collection of articles and podcasts.

22 Maj 20231h 7min

Was that just a nasty fight? Or a sign that your relationship is failing?  As a longtime marriage counselor, I know that it can be hard to spot the difference. Some forms of conflict are healthy and even beneficial for relationships, while others are a signal that your emotional bond is on the rocks. You can prevent a breakup or divorce and keep your connection healthy and strong by learning what a failing relationship really looks like — and what you should be doing right now if your relationship is in trouble.  I hope this episode arms you with all the info you need to make important decisions for your relationship. Join me! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — For more advice on navigating conflict in a way that helps your relationship grow, check out our “Communication that Connects” collection of articles and podcasts.

15 Maj 20231h 2min

We all hear “you have to love yourself first.” But what if you don't know how to love yourself?  This episode is all about authentic self love: What it really means, why having compassion and care for yourself matters so much, and how to love yourself even if (and especially if) you don't always feel like it. You are worthy of love and respect, and today's podcast will help you build your relationship... with yourself. With love and gratitude for the gift that is YOU,  xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com P.S. — For even more support in creating a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, check out my “cultivating self-confidence” collection. You'll find articles and advice about confidence and self-esteem, plus podcast playlists I put together for you.

8 Maj 20231h 12min

Any kind of loss hurts, but the pain is prolonged when you don't know how to get closure and move forward. Unfortunately, closure isn’t something that anyone else can give to you. It’s also not something that just happens. It's an active process that creates healing, and restores your wellbeing. On this episode of the podcast, I’m talking about how you can do that. No matter what kind of loss you're currently dealing with, I hope the ideas I'm sharing today help you take the next step on your journey of healing. You deserve that.  xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  GrowingSelf.com P.S. — If you’d like more articles and podcast playlists on this and related topics I invite you to browse my “Healing After Heartbreak”,  or "Emotional Wellness" collections.

1 Maj 20231h 4min

There are few things more frustrating than trying to figure out how to deal with a defensive partner. You just want them to understand how you feel and what you need, but they’re too busy defending themselves to truly listen.  Unfortunately, defensive reactions can make it difficult to have constructive conversations. Without good communication, the systems for resolving problems in relationships begin to break down — and that’s when your relationship gets in serious trouble. The good news: There are so many actionable strategies that work to create positive change in this dynamic. With new skills and a different perspective, you can overcome defensiveness and restore healthy communication. That's what you'll learn in today's episode! I hope you’ll join me.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on helping each other feel seen, heard, and understood, check out our “Communication that Connects” collection of articles and podcasts.

24 Apr 20231h 8min