Don't Mom Alone Podcast9 Nov 2020

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget :: Lysa TerKeurst [Ep 304]

Do you ever find yourself replaying and reliving the details of the deepest hurt in your life? My guest today has endured a devastating, public heartbreak – and she has wrestled with the lingering,unresolved pain which followed. Author and speaker Lysa TerKeurst joins me to share part of her journey of learning to forgive what you can’t forget.

“I don't want to make this sound more clean and pretty than it actually was. It was hard. It was horrific. It was terrible. And walking out something as devastating as an affair in a marriage created tremendous burden and tremendous hardship. But I will say that one commitment that I made that was really important was that I can feel hurt, but I don't have to choose to live hurt. Or perpetuate that hurt into other people.”

Lysa shares vulnerably and offers advice for anyone who feels stuck in a cycle of unresolved pain. We talk about the huge help a Christian counselor has been both for Lysa and her children throughout this process and how she delved into what the Bible really says about forgiveness.

“The Bible never says that people have to forgive and forget. It actually says quite the opposite. If we can be healed of it, it is actually beneficial not to forget because it becomes a testimony that can be used in powerful ways. And that's part of the good that God can bring in our story. I think how we know that we are experiencing healing is the way that we tell the stories of our lives.”

Connect with Lysa:

Website: https://lysaterkeurst.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialLysa
Instagram: @lysaterkeurst

Links Mentioned:

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An Easier Way Bonni Greiner Ep 120

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

13 Maj 201637min

The Art of Nurturing Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 119]

I’m not a boy. Yet I’m raising four of them to be men. And as much as culture tries to tell us there aren’t differences between boys and girls. My every day experience begs to differ. I truly don’t understand the “why” behind most of my boys’ choices. And it never benefits me to ask. This week (for my own help and maybe yours too) I’ve invited David Thomas on the show. As a family therapist and director at DayStar Counseling Center in Nashville, David has lots of experience counseling families and children. Having his own set of twin boys has provided a lot of education as well. The first book I ever read that gave me a glimpse into the mind of a boy is David’s book “Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys”**. Then I heard him speak at a DotMom event and I’ve always wanted to have him on the show. Our conversation did not disappoint. David’s genteel manner and calm approach gave me such peace. Afterwards I felt encouraged and equipped to not only “handle” my boys but enjoy their uniqueness. David answered a slew of questions I received on Facebook from listeners. But a theme emerged in each topic we covered: outlets and boundaries. David would point out a need boys have and how we as moms could provide a proper outlet for that need. But he also gave great instruction on how to train on boys in regulation, by setting boundaries on where and when those needs can be met. If you are a boymom, get ready to be set free from a lot of guilt over “why your boy does that”. And given some practical ideas to help create places and times in your family’s schedule to let “boys be boys” but not allow that phrase to be an excuse for unkind or inappropriate behavior. If you’re not a boymom, I hope this will still be an entertaining episode to help you understand your husband, nephews, friend’s son. And stay tuned because I’m working with David’s partner Sissy Goff to record a “Raising Girls” episode this fall. (Of course, feel free to share this episode with any boymom friends you have. . .they will thank you!). What we chat about: When and how to let boys rough-house/wrestle How “Stage One boys” (ages 1 to 4 years old) express love with aggression. Providing an outlet and training regulation and respect. How to help our boys who feels things deeply (the ones often labeled as ‘sensitive’). Giving boys ways to process emotions with space and physical outlets. Helping boys hear our directions and respond to us. Taking advantage of how boys are hardwired visually. How to handle when boys talking about private parts, farting, etc. 4 & 14 year old boys and their testosterone surges. Links Mentioned: Brooke McGlothlin (Thank you Brooke for connecting us!) Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys ** Mini Trampoline ** ($25 option) Trampoline with handle bar ** ($70 option) 5 Practical Actions to Help Boys Behave Birds and the Bees? Oh Help Me Please with Mary Flo Ridley (Ep 25) Raising Boys and Girls **Amazon affiliate link

9 Maj 201658min