16: Doamurder, West Virginia (The Book of Genesis, Part 1)
Apocrypals19 Aug 2018

16: Doamurder, West Virginia (The Book of Genesis, Part 1)

Ever wonder why we have anxiety, Theophiloi? Perhaps it's because we're sitting down to examine and/or make goofs about the extremely well-known foundational text of at least three major world religions. That's right, y'all: it's our longest episode yet, featuring the genesis of the beginning of Genesis. This week: Chapters 1 through 11, covering Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah's Ark , and other stories that you probably know very well, assuming you remember the part where Noah passes out drunk with his junk out and invents slavery. Plus, join us in the Correctional Confessional as we address some mistakes and inaccuracies from last week's episode concerning the current status of St. Christopher and St. Wilgefortis, Skull Mountain Baptist Church, and the Arian Heresy. Ever wonder why we have anxiety, Theophiloi? Perhaps it's because we're sitting down to examine and/or make goofs about the extremely well-known foundational text of at least three major world religions. That's right, y'all: it's our longest episode yet, featuring the genesis of the beginning of Genesis. This week: Chapters 1 through 11, covering Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah's Ark, and other stories that you probably know very well, assuming you remember the part where Noah passes out drunk with his junk out and invents slavery. Plus, join us in the Correctional Confessional as we address some mistakes and inaccuracies from last week's episode concerning the current status of St. Christopher and St. Wilgefortis, Skull Mountain Baptist Church, and the Arian Heresy.

Topics of discussion: Our favorite Non-Genesis creation stories, the Documentary Hypothesis (J, E, P, and D), the Tetragrammaton, Monolatry vs. Monotheism redux, the proper instructions for building LEGO sets, a busy week for Big G, ancient cosmology (aether, firmament, and other Spelljammer stuff), the two best land animals, a brief discussion of God's wife Ashe ra, the rather problematic relationship between the Book of Genesis and the gender binary and women in in general, the naming of the animals, Lilith and a secret Lilith that we've already talked about, the inherent evil of nudity, Cain, Kane, Kaine, various origins for vampires, the Nephilim, a trip to the Creation Museum, the Flood Narrative as a genre, God's knack for archery.

Hymnal: "Genesis" by Justice

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Avsnitt(126)

100: Escape From Flesh Island (The Gospel of Judas)

100: Escape From Flesh Island (The Gospel of Judas)

No man knoweth the hour or the day, Theophiloi, but our 100th episode is at hand! In celebration of our centennial, we take on one of our most requested texts: the recently discovered Gospel of Judas...

5 Mars 20221h 43min

99: For Sale, Baby Legs, Not Attached (The First Book of Kings)

99: For Sale, Baby Legs, Not Attached (The First Book of Kings)

You've heard of Solomon, right, Theophiloi? The king so wise that he once threatened to cut a baby in half? Well, if you were looking for more examples of this famous wisdom, we have some bad news for...

30 Jan 20221h 46min

98: You Know, the Manger? (Christmas Chick Tracts)

98: You Know, the Manger? (Christmas Chick Tracts)

We suspect, Theophiloi, that it has been as much of A Year for you as it has been for your humble Sons of Thunder, so please forgive us for skipping the lengthy and intense reading we would've done fo...

23 Dec 20211h 27min

97: Pretty Sus, Lesbius (The Acts of Andrew)

97: Pretty Sus, Lesbius (The Acts of Andrew)

Quick, Theophiloi! Name your favorite Apostle! Okay, good, now we know who among you cannot be trusted, because anyone who said Andrew is a liar. My dude is boring as all h*ck except for the part wher...

2 Dec 20211h 12min

96: The Goku of Judaism (Stories of the Baal Shem Tov)

96: The Goku of Judaism (Stories of the Baal Shem Tov)

Happy Halloween, FIENDS and NeighBOOs! It's the spookiest time of year, and to get in the SPIRIT, we're reading about how the Master of The Good Name and founder of Hassidic Judaism fought a werewolf ...

24 Okt 20211h 16min

95: An Abyss of Significant Depth (The Apocalypse of Paul)

95: An Abyss of Significant Depth (The Apocalypse of Paul)

I don't want to brag, Theophiloi, but I think if I was going to write a text in the style of Mr. Paul (a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an Apostle, separated unto the Gospel of God which He had...

10 Okt 20211h 40min

94: Little Martha and the Small Vandellas  (The Lives of St. Mary Magdalene and St. Wilgefortis)

94: Little Martha and the Small Vandellas (The Lives of St. Mary Magdalene and St. Wilgefortis)

Work with me here, Theophiloi: It sure is late July 2021, and that means it's time for us to celebrate the feast day of Jesus's Second-Favorite Mary, depending on who you ask! We're rolling through a ...

26 Sep 20211h 13min

93: Approximate Week IV: OblIVion (Joseph and Aseneth)

93: Approximate Week IV: OblIVion (Joseph and Aseneth)

Blessed are your hosts, Theophiloi! It's been a while, yes, but we're back just in time for our mutual birthday, with a look at an apocryphal text that goes from zero to complete buck wild in the span...

15 Aug 20211h 22min

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