Fireworks, Fitness Coaches and Bus Drivers

Fireworks, Fitness Coaches and Bus Drivers

Joe discusses the remaining staff roles at a football club to see which one he fancies including: fitness coaches, ball boys, security guards, bus drivers and analysts. Pat reveals what it’s like being a ball boy who’s been given tactical instructions from a manager, how security guards get involved with tunnel bust-ups and stopping fireworks plus there’s a frank admission about the varying levels of fitness in a squad of elite players.

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Your Questions Answered (Plus Erling Haaland's Lovely Lips)

Your Questions Answered (Plus Erling Haaland's Lovely Lips)

After receiving hundreds of messages, Patrick and Joe open the floor to your questions. For some reason Patrick's agreed to answer anything Joe asks on behalf of the listeners, so expect the hosts to tackle such burning and contentious issues as “what’s your favourite dinosaur?”. We also discover what non-footballing things players think about when they're on the pitch, and how Patrick really feels about his FIFA avatar.

14 Mars 202437min

What Does ‘Style of Play’ Actually Mean?

What Does ‘Style of Play’ Actually Mean?

What's the difference between a press and a counter-press? Route one and possession football? Counter-attacking and parking the bus? Patrick nobly attempts to explain these football tactics to a bemused Joe.We also learn what style Patrick most enjoys playing and watching, how managers prepare tactically in the week before a game, and how Marco Bielsa could predict exactly how every match would play out.

7 Mars 202433min

Inside a Football Dressing Room (and a private jet)

Inside a Football Dressing Room (and a private jet)

Joe is very excited to learn exactly what goes on inside a dressing room and covers everything from the food on offer to the best facilities in the Premier League. Patrick tells us how a mix-up at an airport resulted in the least glamorous trip ever taken by a football team on a private jet and debates with Joe whether flapjacks or bananas are better.

29 Feb 202437min

The ‘Home Life’ of a Footballer

The ‘Home Life’ of a Footballer

Joe finds out what life is like for Patrick when he’s not focused on football including how to choose where to live and whether he’s contractually allowed to ride a motorbike. Pat reveals a gross misjudgement on his choice of accommodation whilst on loan and how he’s transformed his garage.

22 Feb 202436min

The First England Call-Up (Landmarks Part 2)

The First England Call-Up (Landmarks Part 2)

After being distracted in the original episode about landmark moments (thanks to an unusual fantasy football team name), the lads reconvene to discuss more important moments from Pat’s career. You’ll hear how a player gets called up for England for the first time, which players were the most welcoming, demanding and vocal in Gareth Southgate’s squad and which defender is the most horrible opponent in the Premier League.

15 Feb 202432min

Patrick Bamford’s Personal Team

Patrick Bamford’s Personal Team

Patrick opens up to Joe about everything he’s invested in to help deal with the pressures of football in terms of nutrition, being physically fit and being mentally strong. Part of Pat’s team immediately makes Joe want to become a footballer (again) but when the consequences of playing under pressure are laid bare, it almost becomes too much to handle.

8 Feb 202438min

Do All Footballers Want To Be a Captain?

Do All Footballers Want To Be a Captain?

Joe has always fancied himself as a skipper so wants to know what attributes he needs to develop and ultimately what the perks of the job are. Patrick tells us about an incident whilst captain of Leeds that still haunts him to this day and discusses what it’s like to be captained by Harry Kane and John Terry, and whether he’d enjoy the style of leadership of someone like Roy Keane.

1 Feb 202439min

Patrick Challenges Joe to Prove He’s Good at Free Kicks

Patrick Challenges Joe to Prove He’s Good at Free Kicks

After weeks of hearing about Joe’s supposedly stupendous free kick-taking ability, Pat lays down a challenge which involves a trip to the Leeds training ground. Joe realises he might have bitten off more than he can chew and struggles to focus on anything other than getting some more tips for 5-a-side and discussing footballers’ pre-match routines.

25 Jan 202434min

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