Resolving Sibling Conflict:: Summer of Mentorship Wk 1

As moms we are often looking for parenting formulas and quick fixes to solve our latest parenting problems. When they are babies, following formulas for sleeping and eating makes sense, but as they get older and their needs change it gets a lot more complicated.  We often turn to friends and mentors for advice, but that doesn’t always work or what works for one of our kids doesn’t for another and it can make us feel lost.  Jeffrey Olrick, Ph.D. and his wife Amy Olrick join me to share a different way to interpret our kids needs using some practical tools and the science of connection. They offer an alternative question to “What do I do?”, asking instead: “How can I be with this child?”. They go through the six needs of every child and a helpful compass to help you find your way when it gets challenging. “I think some of it is a fear that we have parents. If we lose the trail for even a moment that our children will be put in imminent danger. And we want to set parents free from that and say, no, actually that's actually going to be pretty normal to lose the trail. But you are still together and you're going to find your way back to firm footing with these six needs.” This approach is teaching me a lot in my own parenting and I know it will help you on your parenting journey. To learn more from the Olricks, check out their podcast! Connect with the Olricks:  Website: growingconnected.com Facebook: facebook.com/growingconnected  Instagram: @growingconnected  Links Mentioned:   The Growing Connected Podcast BOOK: The 6 Needs of Every Child. Featured Sponsors:  Hello Bello— Go to hellobello.com/DMA to get 25% off your diaper bundle order and 15% off any add ons like vitamins or wipes! StoryWorth—Give your mom the most meaningful gift this Mother’s Day with StoryWorth. No shipping required. Go to StoryWorth.com/DMA and get $10 off your first purchase.

12 Apr 202155min

On a recent Instagram survey I learned that 68% of y’all have experienced broken friendships. I knew we needed an episode to help. The last year has not been easy for any of us. So many things in our lives changed in response to the pandemic, political and racial tensions, and the loneliness of quarantine life. In the midst of everything, it has been hard to keep friendships healthy. Licensed professional counselor Shundria Riddick is here to walk us through some healthy ways to work toward reconciliation and how to know when to walk away from friendship that is hurtful. We talk about setting healthy boundaries, having clarifying conversations, and how to analyze the health of relationships. Connect with Shundria:  Website:  shundriariddick.com  Facebook: facebook.com/shundriariddick  Instagram: @shundriariddick  Links Mentioned:   Relax Relate Release Group Therapy with Shundria [Ep 159] Healing Friendship Wounds :: Lisa-Jo Baker [Ep 289] Strengthening Our Friendships :: Susan Seay  Featured Sponsors:  Rothys—Check out all the amazing shoes, bags and masks available right now at Rothys.com/DMA. Thrive Market—Join Thrive Market today to get 25% off your first order AND an exclusive FREE gift! The ONLY way to get this offer is by going to Thrive Market.com/DMA.

5 Apr 202143min

With Easter right around the corner, the traditional Jewish feast of Passover is also coming up. The Passover Seder, a ritual feast that marks the beginning of Passover, is a powerful, symbolic meal to help both Christian and Jewish believers remember the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt. My friends Chris and Karen Katulka walk us through all the elements in a way that is doable for families with young kids and still poignant for us as adults. You may be surprised all that you learn about how specific foods can serve as meaningful reminders of God’s redemption. “And what you do is you eat the bitter herbs with matzah as a reminder of the bitterness of bondage that was felt for the Israelites. For us as Christians, you know, there was a point where you didn't know Christ, a point where you were separated. So that bitterness is a nice, fresh reminder of what was life like before.” The Katulkas help make this sacred celebration accessible and understandable for families whether you’ve participated in the past or want to start a new tradition this year. Download their helpful Passover packet with recipes and more information. Connect with the Friends of Israel:  Website: www.foi.org  Facebook: facebook.com/FOIGM  Instagram: @foigm  Links Mentioned:   Ep 217: The Gift of Celebrating the Biblical Feasts :: Amber Lee Get the Passover Seder Downloads More details on Passover from FOI Passover Haggadah FEATURED SPONSORS:  HelloBello — Get 25% off your diaper bundle order and 15% off any add ons like vitamins or wipes: hellobello.com/DMA SoulCycle At Home Bike —Get your SoulCycle At Home bike by visiting MySoulCycleBike.com/DMA use promo code: DMA and get a complementary pair of at home Select cycling shoes with your purchase.

29 Mars 202154min

Licensed Professional Counselor Charissa Fry is back to help parents get the “most bang for our buck” when it comes to one-on-one connected time with our kids — PLAY! Even if you’re a mom who doesn’t love playtime or you feel like you can’t add one more thing to your family schedule, listen in as Charissa breaks down how the benefits of special playtime far exceed the difficulties.  “We follow the child's lead because it allows the child to feel seen, heard, understood, and delighted in like you care about what they care about. You're interested in what they're interested in. It also models cooperation. And it’s helpful with the power dynamic between a parent and a child.” We talk about how to remove the teacher, parent and disciplinarian hats and enter into playtime with a positive and engaged attitude that can reap BIG benefits in our parenting over time. Charissa explains some of the “rules” of special playtime that can help us reinforce positive behavior and give our kids permission to play however they want.  I hope this episode leaves you encouraged to connect with kids through imaginative play. For more information, check out this resource from Charissa!  Helpful Verbal Cue: “Hey, in five minutes, we're going to have special playtime and you get to choose what we do together.” Connect with Charissa:  Website:  charissafry.com Facebook: facebook.com/CharissaFryCounseling Links Mentioned:   The Window of Tolerance :: Charissa Fry [Ep 260] Special Playtime Keys handout from Charissa   Featured Sponsors:  FabFitFun— use code DMA10 to save $10 off your first FabFitFun box at FabFitFun.com Acorn TV—try the Acorn TV streaming service for FREE for 30 days. Go to Acorn.tv and use code DMA

22 Mars 202150min

I’m excited to welcome back Mo Isom Aiken  to the podcast. She writes and speaks powerfully about how God has redeemed her own brokenness and set her on a path to challenge, encourage and equip other Christ followers. In this episode we talk about how each of us was made for true intimacy with God on a heart level.  “The ultimate will of the Father is to know him intimately and to be known by him and to press into an intimacy with God that is all-consuming and not based on our doing as much as our being with him -- who we are, who he is. Allowing this intimacy that really takes us to think about marital intimacy, a vulnerable exposed, honest place that draws near to us. And somehow this rhythmic, you know, coming together transforms our heart.” Mo takes us into her own story of God peeling back the layers of shame and her own twisted view of intimacy to heal the deep places of her heart. We talk about how God wants to do the same for each of us, but it’s a process.  In this time when so many of us have lost the support that sustained us and distractions that hid our true feelings, Mo invites us to draw near to God trusting him and exposing our physical vulnerabilities to him.  “If we want to understand the deeper layers of spiritual intimacy with God, we've got to be willing to work through the very physical layers of things that have impacted our life and story because everything in the physical is ultimately served to shape our perspective of intimacy overall and especially intimacy with God.” Connect with Mo:  Website:  www.moisom.com  Facebook: facebook.com/TheMoIsom  Instagram: @moisom  Links Mentioned:   Books by Mo: Wreck My Life: Journeying from Broken to Bold Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot Fully Known: An Invitation to True Intimacy with God Ep 168 Broken to Bold :: Mo Isom Ep 260 Window of Tolerance :: Charissa Fry Featured Sponsors:  BetterHelp — 10% off your first month of professional counseling online at betterhelp.com/DMA PrepDish — try 2 weeks of meal plans FREE at prepdish.com/DMA

15 Mars 20211h

When it comes to learning differences and special education diagnoses, it can feel overwhelming and defeating to see your child struggle. My guest Kerri Irvin is a dyslexia specialist who has worked with countless children, teens and adults to help them thrive and embrace their learning differences.  “It amazes me the gifts that God provides for all children, alongside their challenges. For every challenge, an equally important, if not more significant, gift has been provided and their challenges, without fail, are gifts that support them with their talents and make them better learners and people.” We talk about what dyslexia is, how students with dyslexia learn differently, ways to partner with your child’s teachers to help them succeed, and how to support friends who have children with learning differences. Kerri shares with passion and hope about how dyslexia is not just a learning challenge, but can be a strength.  Connect with Kerri Email: kdicalt123@gmail.com  Site: SK Designs for Learning Links Mentioned:   The Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity International Dyslexia Association Neuhaus Education Center Scottish Rite for Children Orton-Gillingham Academy Kerri’s List of Resources Featured Sponsors:  Function of Beauty — Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/DMA to take your quiz and get 20% off your first order.  Rothy’s — Check out their amazing repurposed, eco-friendly shoes, bags and masks available at Rothys.com/DMA

8 Mars 202155min

“What’s something you’ve grown in but at different speeds?”. After collecting listener questions, this question stood out to my husband Bruce. So instead of doing a general Q and A episode (in honor of our 22nd wedding anniversary), we decided to discuss Bruce’s journey in learning how to identify what he is feeling, labeling it and sharing it with others.  Listen to how we learned to process our feelings through church small group. And how we’ve grown as a couple to express those emotions in a healthy way. “I think a common theme through all of this is just having a really constructive, clear language to talk about things. It is not like any one of these methods solves things. It's not a formula. The more precise and constructive and simple we make this language,  the more effective communication can be.” Here are the cards we reference in the show (see website show notes).  More Episodes with Bruce: 20th Anniversary Q & A :: Bruce and Heather [Ep 242] The Right to Change My Mind :: Bruce and Heather [Ep 196] This is Us :: Bruce and Heather {Ep 145} Goals, Roles and Superpowers :: Bruce and Heather MacFadyen {Ep 112} When your Husband has a Demanding Job :: Bruce and Heather {Ep 38} Links Mentioned:   Steps into God’s Grace (12 step program) by Lynn Hoffman Recovery for Life :: Lynn Hoffman [Ep 129] BOOK: People Fuel by John Townsend Featured Sponsors:  PrettyLitter — use code DMA to save 20% off a one month supply over at prettylitter.com Thrive Market— get 25% off your first order and a free gift. If you go to thrivemarket.com/DMA

1 Mars 202142min

David Thomas and I talked for SOOOO long in our interview because he's the BEST. The last part of our convo was specific to handling screen time with boys. The DMA team figured we could shorten the main episode by releasing this part separately. Of course, David and I did not cover every angle of managing technology (people write whole books on that topic). But I hope it helps you feel less alone in the struggle and empowered to do a few things: Create a Family Media Plan (or at least use the media calculator)--see links below Discuss what creative things your family has done outside of screen time. After reminiscing, brainstorm new ideas. Ask your son about one of his favorite video games. Perhaps sit down and play one with him. Let me know how it goes. Links: AAP family media time calculator and Media Plan Among Us game Mafia group game Fortnite  Roblox List of Movie Recs by Raising Boys and Girls (a page on my site, not on IG for you non-Instagram peeps) Time and Space for Flourishing in a Tech World :: Andy Crouch [Ep 208]

26 Feb 202110min