100 Episodes: My Top Relationship Lessons That Changed My Life

We often think being single means being lonely – but that's one of the biggest relationship myths out there. The truth? You can be single and completely fulfilled, or in a relationship and feel totally disconnected from your partner. In this essential episode, I'm breaking down why we confuse relationship status with happiness, and what to do about the loneliness that has nothing to do with whether you're coupled up or not. What You'll Learn: The four relationship states we all cycle through – and why only one of them actually matters for your happiness. Why being in a relationship and feeling lonely is actually worse than being single and lonely (and what this taught me about my own patterns). How to tell if you're staying in a relationship just to avoid being alone – and why this keeps you stuck in disconnection. The real markers of a successful relationship (hint: it has nothing to do with how long you've been together). What to do when you're single and lonely – including how to meet your connection needs without jumping into the wrong relationship. How to reconnect with your partner if you're feeling distant – and the questions that will tell you if it's worth the effort. Here's the reality: Whether you're single or partnered, there are specific things you can do right now to reduce loneliness and build the connections that actually fill you up. The goal isn't just to be in a relationship – it's to create a life where you feel genuinely connected to the people around you, starting with yourself. If you're feeling lonely right now, this episode will help you figure out exactly what you're really looking for and how to find it in ways that don't involve settling for the wrong person or staying stuck in a relationship that's making you feel more alone. Key Takeaways: Being single ≠ being lonely (and being coupled ≠ being connected) Quality relationships are built on connection, not just commitment Loneliness is about disconnection, not relationship status You can reduce loneliness whether you're single or partnered The importance of taking action rather than waiting for someone else to fix your situation Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

7 Sep 17min

Breakups can leave you questioning everything about yourself — your value, your identity, even your worth as a person. You might be doing all the "right things" people recommend after heartbreak — staying busy, seeing friends, diving into hobbies — yet still come home to that deep, overwhelming emptiness. In this episode, I explore why so many people feel worthless after a relationship ends, and why it can seem like you only exist in relation to your ex. Together we'll unpack: ✨ The missing piece most people overlook when healing after a breakup ✨ Why you've been giving your ex all the credit for the love and connection you shared ✨ How to reclaim your role in creating intimacy, joy, and partnership ✨ The belief that keeps you stuck thinking your ex was "the only one" ✨ Practical steps to reconnect with yourself and rebuild your self-worth You'll walk away with a powerful reminder: the love, connection, and intimacy you miss didn't come from your ex alone — they came from you too. And if you could create it once, you can create it again. If you've been feeling like you only exist in relation to your ex, this episode will help you see your worth in a whole new way. Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

31 Aug 14min

What if the pain you're in right now is actually the turning point of your life? When life falls apart — through heartbreak, betrayal, or unexpected change — it can feel like everything is over. But what if this crisis could be the moment that transforms you into someone stronger, wiser, and more authentic than ever before? In this episode, I'll share how to stop staying stuck in anger and blame, and instead use disruption as a catalyst for growth. You'll learn how to see relationships more clearly, build deeper connections, and make choices from courage instead of fear. Whether you're navigating a breakup, family struggles, or any kind of life shake-up, this conversation will help you: Recognise the hidden power you have right now Reframe your story so the pain becomes part of your strength Create ripple effects that improve not just love, but friendships, parenting, and even your career Step into a future where you feel proud, resilient, and fully yourself You can't control what happened — but you can choose what you do with it. This episode will show you how.

25 Aug 20min

Going through a breakup and don't know what to do with yourself? This episode is for you. Whether you're in shock, having a breakdown, or feeling completely detached, all reactions are normal. Instead of the typical breakup advice, I'm sharing 4 practical, actionable steps that will set you up for your next chapter - one that's better than before and intentionally focused on creating your best life. What You'll Learn Why your breakup reaction is normal (and often learned from childhood) The 4 unconventional steps to take immediately after a breakup How to use this ending as a catalyst for building an amazing life Why healing isn't passive and requires intentional work How to shift from reactive mode to creative mode The 4 Steps to Transform Your Breakup 1. Create Your Values List Find "values exercises" on Google (takes 5-10 minutes) Examples: integrity, loyalty, connection, authenticity, adventure Use your values as a compass for all major decisions Notice where you're expending energy that doesn't align with who you want to be 2. Complete a Life Wheel Exercise Rate 10 life areas on a scale of 1-10 (health, career, finances, relationships, spirituality, etc.) Identify which areas have been neglected while focusing on your relationship Get an honest assessment to rebuild intentionally Focus energy where it will create the most balance and fulfillment 3. Commit to Something Outside Your Comfort Zone Choose something that makes you nervous but excited Examples: learning to surf, guitar lessons, solo travel, art classes Build evidence that you can handle uncertainty and figure things out Expand your world instead of shrinking it after a breakup 4. Write Down Your Perfect Day Visualize from wake-up to sleep - be detailed No limitations based on current circumstances Your ex cannot be part of this picture Use it as a north star for decision-making Ask: "Does this move me closer to or further from my perfect day?" Key Takeaways There's no "right" way to react to a breakup Your reaction is likely a coping pattern learned in childhood Healing requires intentional work, not just waiting for time to pass This breakup is giving you a clean slate and opportunity to rebuild consciously People who come out stronger use disruption as a chance to make conscious changes You get to choose what to keep and what to leave behind Resources Mentioned Values Exercise: Search "find my values exercises" on Google Life Wheel Exercise: Search "life wheel exercise" on Google or book a consultation with Sylvia Personal Consultation: DM @sylviasuwan on Instagram for booking link Connect with Sylvia Instagram: @sylviasuwan Book a Consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation Quote to Remember "The people who come out of breakups stronger, happier, and more fulfilled are the ones who use the disruption as an opportunity to examine their lives and make conscious changes. They're the ones who refuse to just go back to how things were before."

17 Aug 20min

In this episode, we dive deep into the often unseen—but deeply felt—impact of untreated emotional wounds and how they shape our everyday lives, choices, behaviours, and relationships. Whether you're someone who feels "stuck," overwhelmed, or confused by recurring patterns in your life, this episode will help you understand how unhealed pain manifests and why acknowledging it is the first essential step toward healing. 💔 Topics Covered: Why emotional wounds don't disappear with time or avoidance How unresolved pain can influence your choices and decision-making The role of fear, shame, anger, and grief in unhealed trauma The way emotional wounds distort our behaviours in relationships Real-life examples of how wounds show up in everyday interactions What true healing looks and feels like (and what it doesn't) How healing leads to emotional freedom, deeper connections, and peace 🧠 Key Insights: Emotional wounds can cause us to choose from fear, avoid opportunities, and recreate old patterns. These wounds often manifest as people-pleasing, withdrawal, hypervigilance, or emotional shutdown. Relationships act as mirrors that reflect our unhealed parts, offering opportunities for growth—or deeper pain if we're unaware. Healing is not about forgetting—it's about reclaiming your power, restoring presence, and choosing love over fear. ✨ What Healing Actually Looks Like: Feeling your emotions without being ruled by them Being present instead of stuck in the past or fearful of the future Responding with compassion—for yourself and others Cultivating peace, resilience, and genuine joy Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com Ready to work with me? Book a 1:1 coaching session here

10 Aug 14min

_*]:min-w-0 !gap-3.5"> In this episode, we explore a game-changing framework for understanding relationship issues: the hierarchy of relationship problems. Just like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, relationships have different levels of problems that must be addressed in the right order to create lasting, healthy partnerships. The Relationship Hierarchy (Bottom to Top) Foundation Level: Basic Relationship Needs Respect Trust Safety (emotional, physical, psychological) These are non-negotiable - your relationship equivalent of food, water, and shelter Middle Tier: Communication and Connection Effective communication about difficult topics Emotional intimacy and connection Shared values and alignment Healthy conflict navigation skills Top Tier: Passion and Fun Romance and passion Adventure and excitement Fun activities and shared experiences The "magical" aspects of relationships Why We Get the Hierarchy Wrong Top-tier focus is more appealing - Romance and passion are exciting to think about Foundation work isn't "sexy" - Boundary conversations and trust-building feel less romantic We try to fix symptoms, not root causes - Like putting a bandage on a broken leg Pattern repetition - Without addressing foundational issues, we recreate the same problems with new partners The Foundation Checklist Ask yourself these critical questions: Safety: Do you feel completely safe being yourself with your partner? Can you share your real thoughts, fears, and dreams without judgment? Trust: Do you trust them completely? Not just fidelity, but follow-through, honesty, and having your best interests at heart? Respect: Do you feel genuinely respected? Are your input, time, feelings, and perspectives treated as valuable? If any answer is "no," that's where your work begins. Common Mistakes Planning romantic dates when you can't have conversations without arguments Trying to improve physical intimacy when emotional safety is missing Focusing on shared activities when basic respect is absent Sweeping foundational issues under the rug hoping they'll resolve themselves The Exercise That Changes Everything Identify the foundational cracks - What basic issues in your current/past relationship weren't addressed? Examine why they weren't addressed - Lack of skills? Fear of conflict? Believing you didn't deserve better? Recognize the pattern - Are you trying to solve the wrong problem at the wrong level? How to Use This Hierarchy Step 1: Get crystal clear on your foundation-level non-negotiables Define what safety, trust, and respect look like for you Don't compromise on these basics Step 2: Develop middle-tier skills Learn effective communication techniques Practice building emotional intimacy Develop healthy conflict resolution skills Step 3: Enjoy the top-tier benefits Plan romantic experiences Explore passion and adventure Create magical moments together Key Takeaways Most relationship problems are hierarchy problems - People try to solve issues at the wrong level You can't build a healthy relationship on an unhealthy foundation - Surface fixes won't address deeper structural problems Foundation work comes first - Safety, trust, and respect must be established before focusing on passion and fun These are learnable skills - Communication and intimacy skills can be developed with practice The Bottom Line Stop trying to create passion when you need to create safety. Stop planning romantic gestures when you need to establish basic respect. Build from the ground up, address problems at the right level, and create relationships that are not just exciting—but sustainable, secure, and lasting. Questions for Reflection What foundational issues have you been avoiding in your relationships? Are you trying to solve surface problems while ignoring deeper structural issues? What does safety, trust, and respect specifically look like for you? What skills do you need to develop at each level of the hierarchy? Work with Sylvia - Book a free consultation https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

4 Aug 14min

Are you stuck in a loop of anger and hurt months or even years after your breakup? In this powerful episode, Sylvia explores the crucial difference between resistance and acceptance—and why one keeps you trapped while the other sets you free. If you've been replaying what happened, wishing things could go back to how they were, or feeling like life is happening TO you instead of FOR you, this episode will show you the path forward. What You'll Learn: The Two Paths After Heartbreak: What resistance really looks like (and why it keeps you powerless) How acceptance differs from giving up or condoning what happened Why acceptance is the key to reclaiming your choices and your future The Science Behind Staying Stuck: Why negative emotions can become addictive (featuring insights from Dr. Joe Dispenza) How your brain gets wired for familiar pain The chemical patterns that keep you craving stress and drama Breaking Free from the Victim Mindset: The real reason we resist taking responsibility (it's not what you think) How to move from "life is happening to me" to "I'm happening to life" Why feeling "ready" is a myth that keeps you waiting forever Practical Steps Forward: The confronting question that changes everything How to use your breakup as fuel for creating the life you actually want Why arguing with reality always makes you lose Ready to take the next step? Book a free consultation: sylviasuwan.com/consultation Connect with Sylvia: Instagram: @sylviasuwan Website: sylviasuwan.com If this episode helped you, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps us reach more people on their healing journey. This episode contains references to the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza on emotional addiction and neuroplasticity.

27 Juli 12min

Welcome back to Breakup to Blessing. In today's episode, we're diving into two of the most common – and most challenging – emotions that come up after a breakup: loneliness and anxiety. If you've ever felt isolated after the end of a relationship or found yourself spiralling into "what ifs" about the future, you're not alone. We talk about why these feelings show up, what they're really trying to tell us, and how we can begin to respond with compassion and connection rather than fear. We explore: Why loneliness and anxiety are normal, not a sign of failure The loss of identity that often follows a breakup The pressure to "find yourself" again – and why that's not always the right question How friendships can become your most powerful form of healing Why we often feel like a burden when we're vulnerable – and how that belief keeps us stuck The gendered challenges around reaching out (especially for men) What it means to reconnect – with yourself, with others, and with your life This episode is a gentle reminder that you don't have to do this alone. Whether you're newly single or deep in the healing process, this is your invitation to soften, reach out, and rebuild your sense of connection — not just romantically, but through meaningful friendships and community too. Listen now to hear: Why anxiety ramps up after a breakup and what your brain is really trying to do How modern relationships can leave us emotionally isolated What Simon Sinek and Esther Perel can teach us about friendship, purpose, and healing Practical ways to begin reconnecting — even if it feels awkward or scary A message of hope for anyone feeling unseen, unloved, or unsure where to go next Show Links: Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation Follow me on Instagram: @sylviasuwan

21 Juli 13min