Sweet Spot

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Friday, September 3rd, 2021 - 9:17am.

All across France, school started yesterday. In the United States, back to school dates vary greatly, with kids going back anytime from early August to early September. In France, however, all of the kids go back on the very same day. I like this. I like the electricity in the air on the last day of summer vacation, and I like imagining all of the school children, ages 3 to 18, tossing and turning in their beds as they try to fall asleep. I feel connected to all of the other parents as I check my son’s backpack, go over the school supplies list and tuck him in before a big day. Wednesday night, I whispered to Elliot in his bed, “Don’t worry if you have a hard time falling asleep tonight. All of the kids all across France are doing the same thing you are right now: wondering about who their teacher will be, which friends will be in their class, wondering what the new school year will be like.” I kissed his forehead, breathed in the smell of his freshly washed hair, and imagined all of the other mothers doing the same exact thing as me.

This was the summer when Elliot was eight, and there will only ever be one of those. We’re in the sweet spot of parenting where he doesn’t need us as much, but he still really wants us. He doesn’t need us to hold his hand as he toddles, or to make sure he won’t swallow a Lego or stick something in an outlet, or to catch him at the bottom of the slide. But he wants us to play with him, read to him, explain the world to him, answer his many, many questions and admire his tricks on the playground. He simply wants to be with us.

In July, we spent 4 days at a beautiful little family-run camp site in the Lot, about two hours north of Toulouse, with Elliot’s best friend Lou and her parents. There were a couple of families with kids Elliot’s age, and a couple of other families with teenagers. The younger kids formed a little pack of 5 to 11-year-olds, Elliot and Lou right in the middle, and they were free to run around together after dinner. The small camp site nestled in the cedar trees was a kid’s paradise: a huge swimming pool, basketball court, ping pong table, mini golf, swings and a spinner. The summer days are long and it stays light here until 10pm, so we let the kids stay up late.

I noticed the families with young kids and the busyness of it all. The applying of sunscreen, the finding of goggles, the procuring of afternoon snacks and the negotiations around showers, bedtimes and teeth-brushing. I also noticed the families with teenagers. The teens, of different ages and degrees of awkwardness, hung out by the pool and put on their own sunscreen. They chatted with their parents and sure, they scrolled on their phones (don’t we all?), but they mostly seemed pretty good-natured.

Sitting under my parasol, I was looking at them as if they were a sort of crystal ball that could show me my future. How old is that boy? 14? Will Elliot be like that in 6 years? Does he look like he still likes his mom? What do they do together? What do they talk about?
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The complete 'polaroid' - text, minicast and polaroid photo - available at: http://polaroid41.com/sweet-spot/