13. The Case for Generosity in Memoir featuring Judy Bolton-Fasman

Susan Shapiro joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about the smart way to get meaty bylines, how to think like an editor, placing small pieces, getting tough criticism and listening to it, productive writing schedules, taking care of ourselves and setting boundaries, when to bring editors into the mix, putting work away for a while, filling your cup so you can give generously, some publishing case studies, a special speed round, her popular workshops, and her books The Byline Bible and The Book Bible.   Also in this episode: -feelings of competitiveness  -being provocative, being timely -doing mitzvahs   Books mentioned in this episode: -The Byline Bible by Susan Shapiro -The Book Bible by Susan Shapiro -Docile by Hyeseung Song -The Chair and the Valley by Banning Lyon -Black American Refugee by Tiffanie Drayton -The Bosnia List by Kenan Trebincevic and Sue Shapiro -The Queen of Gay Street by Esther Mollica -How to Murder Your Life by Cat Marnell    Susan Shapiro is an award winning writing professor and the bestselling author of many books her family hates, like the memoirs Five Men Who Broke My Heart, Lighting Up and The Forgiveness Tour, out in paperback July 23. She's coauthor of Unhooked, The Bosnia List and American Shield. She's freelanced for the New York Times, WSJ, Washington Post, Newsweek, Wired, Elle, The Cut, Oprah and New Yorker magazines online. She lives in Manhattan with her scriptwriter husband and uses her publishing guides "The Byline Bible" and "The Book Bible" for the popular classes she teaches at NYU, The New School, Columbia University and now online. You can follow her on Instagram at @profsue123.  Connect with Susan: Website: https://Susanshapiro.net Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanshapironet Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/profsue123/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Susanshapironet LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-shapiro-9171755/   — Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she teaches memoir workshops and is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Newsletter sign-up: https://ronitplank.com/#signup   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

27 Aug 202436min

Susan Shapiro joins Let’s Talk Memoir for part one of our conversation about the nature of forgiveness and why she wrote a memoir about it, being a multiple-memoir writer, why she’s glad her latest took 12 years to complete, starting a memoir with a question, the importance of mentors to our work and life, the nature of therapeutic relationships, overcoming addiction, avoiding kvetch-fests in our pages, working on other projects simultaneously, writing groups, and her memoir The Forgiveness Tour.    Also in this episode: -the best way to launch a memoir -good apologies -father figures   Susan Shapiro is an award winning writing professor and the bestselling author of many books her family hates, like the memoirs Five Men Who Broke My Heart, Lighting Up and The Forgiveness Tour, out in paperback July 23. She's coauthor of Unhooked, The Bosnia List and American Shield. She's freelanced for the New York Times, WSJ, Washington Post, Newsweek, Wired, Elle, The Cut, Oprah and New Yorker magazines online. She lives in Manhattan with her scriptwriter husband and uses her publishing guides "The Byline Bible" and "The Book Bible" for the popular classes she teaches at NYU, The New School, Columbia University and now online. You can follow her on Instagram at @profsue123.  Connect with Susan: Website: https://Susanshapiro.net Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanshapironet Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/profsue123/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Susanshapironet LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-shapiro-9171755/   — Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she teaches memoir workshops and is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Newsletter sign-up: https://ronitplank.com/#signup   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

27 Aug 202440min

Lola Milholland joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about communal living and interconnection, writing about food and its impact on our sense of home and culture, writing about loved ones with honesty, not sharing early drafts, exploring material that calls to us energetically, going directly to publishers, the role of privacy and boundaries in our lives and her new book Group Living and Other Recipes.   Also in this episode: -food and culture -commune cookbooks -searching acknowledgement pages for publishers   Books mentioned in this episode: Vibration Cooking by Vertamae Smart-Grosvenor My Picture Diary by Fujiwara Maki Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward Holy Land by DJ Waldie Lola Milholland is a food-business owner and writer. A former editor for Edible Portland magazine, she currently lives in Portland, Oregon, and runs Umi Organic, a noodle company with a commitment to providing nutritious public school lunch. Her debut book, GROUP LIVING AND OTHER RECIPES, will be published by Spiegel & Grau in August 2024. Connect with Lola: Website: www.lolasbeef.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lolamilho Get Lola’s Book: https://www.spiegelandgrau.com/group-living/ — Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she teaches memoir workshops and is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Newsletter sign-up: https://ronitplank.com/#signup   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

20 Aug 202443min

Jessica Fein joins Let’s talk Memoir for a conversation about making, loving and losing family, how we go from the desire to fix and control to understanding some things are out our hands, creating a life of meaning, memoir vs. a collection of essays, when the ending changes, being okay with revising, recognizing when our manuscripts need more work, navigating feedback, finding joy even in the context of extreme uncertainty and sadness, her podcast I Don’t Know How You Do It, living on the precipice, and her memoir Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes.   Also in this episode: -when our story isn’t ready -finding the beginning, middle, and end -surviving seemingly insurmountable circumstances   Books mentioned in this episode: The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr Books by Ellen Gilchrist   Jessica Fein is the author of Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes," and host of the "I Don't Know How You Do It” podcast, which features people whose lives seem unimaginable to others. She’s a seasoned media contributor, with forums including Newsweek, Psychology Today, The Boston Globe, HuffPost, Scary Mommy, and more. Jessica is a relentless warrior in the memory of her dynamic daughter whom she lost to rare disease in 2022. Her work encompasses hope and humor, grit and grace -- the tools that make up her personal survival kit. Jessica serves on the Board of Directors of MitoAction. She’s the mother of three, whom she and her husband adopted from Guatemala. They live outside of Boston with their quasi-service dog, who trained himself.   Connect with Jessica: Website: https://www.jessicafeinstories.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessica.fein.92/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-fein-b643b09 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feinjessica/ Book is available at the usual places: Amazon, Bookshop.org, B&N, etc. I Don’t Know How You Do It Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-dont-know-how-you-do-it/id1668168226   — Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she teaches memoir workshops and is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Newsletter sign-up: https://ronitplank.com/#signup   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

13 Aug 202437min

Danielle M. Bryan joins me for a conversation about how she coped with cascading life adversities including multiple sclerosis and divorce, what it was like for her to share deeply emotional experiences on the page, leading with vulnerability, her decision to use a pseudonym, working with a developmental editor, using a hybrid publisher, creating the space and time for what we need personally and creatively, and her new memoir Unparalyzed: Beating an Invisible Pre-Midlife Crisis   Also in this episode: -the toll of autoimmune disease -reshaping our stories -taking solo trips to create   Books mentioned in this episode: -Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert -Love Sick by Cory Martin   By day, Danielle M. Bryan is a non-profit executive leader and a board member.  She is a proud Jamaican-American, a wife, a mother, a daughter and an avid lover of international travel. So far, Danielle’s international travel destinations have included the Bahamas, the Dominican Republic, France, Greece, Indonesia , Jamaica, Mexico, Morocco, South Africa, Turkey, Italy, Belize and Canada! London and Munich are next up – this Summer, in June!  Similar to her passion for traveling, Danielle developed a love for expressing herself through written words and through story-telling. She describes her debut memoir as the story that found her after life threw her a few curve balls and she decided to use her journey and the lessons she learned along the way to inspire others.   Connect with Danielle: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authordbry/ Website: https://www.unparalyzedmemoir.com/ Get her book: https://a.co/d/iyqrhA3 https://www.archwaypublishing.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/856866-unparalyzed https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/unparalyzed-danielle-m-bryan/1144672859?ean=9781665753326 — Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she teaches memoir workshops and is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Newsletter sign-up: https://ronitplank.com/#signup   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

6 Aug 202439min

Tia Levings joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about her escape from Christian patriarchy and what she’s experienced firsthand with Christian nationalism and the Religious Right, why her story is a warning and is becoming more relevant by the day, the disempowerment and isolation of living in high control situations, trauma therapy, not exhausting readers with too much reality, comprehensive legal reviews, privacy and safety issues, composite characters, maintaining a big social media platforms as well as healthy boundaries, and her her path to publishing A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy.   Also in this episode: -writing 13 drafts -working with Lisa Cooper Ellison and Jane Friedman -the querying process   Books mentioned in this episode: The Situation and the Story by Vivan Gornick Seven Drafts: Self-Edit Like a Pro From Blank Page to Book by Allison K. Williams On Writing by Stephen King Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott Writer’s Journey by Christopher Vogler  Tia Levings is a writer and content creator who educates on the abuses of Christian fundamentalism. She recently appeared in the Amazon docuseries, Shiny Happy People. Her memoir A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy, releases with St. Martin’s Press in August of 2024.   Connect with Tia: Website: https://tialevings.com Get her book: https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/well-trained-wife-9781250288288/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tialevingswriter/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tialevingswriter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TiaLevingsWriter   — Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she teaches memoir workshops and is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Newsletter sign-up: https://ronitplank.com/#signup   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

30 Juli 20241h

Sonya Huber joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about her approach to generating essays, working on many projects at once, writing as exposure therapy, how essays in a collection talk to each other, paying attention to what intrudes on us, living and working in the tangents, an accumulation of questions around a central theme, protecting people, crossing cultures and crossing classes, confronting ghosts, men and danger, being in relationship with writing, and her latest book, Love and Industry: A Midwestern Workbook   Also in this episode: -writing backward -questions of class -narrative arc   Listen to Sonya Huber’s first Let’s Talk Memoir episode, #16: https://ronitplank.com/2022/11/15/lets-talk-memoir-season-2-episode-1-ft-sonya-huber/   Books mentioned in this episode: Bird by Bird Anne Lamott Dog Flowers by Danielle Geller Nola Face by Brooke Champagne   Sonya Huber is the author of eight books, including the new essay collection, Love and Industry: A Midwestern Workbook as well as the writing guide, Voice First: A Writer’s Manifesto, and an award-winning essay collection on chronic pain, Pain Woman Takes Your Keys and Other Essays from a Nervous System. Her other books include the Supremely Tiny Acts: A Memoir in a Day, Opa Nobody, Cover Me: A Health Insurance Memoir, and The Backwards Research Guide for Writers. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Brevity, Creative Nonfiction, The Atlantic, The Guardian, and other outlets. She teaches at Fairfield University and in the Fairfield low-residency MFA program. Connect with Sonya: Website: www.sonyahuber.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sonyahuber/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sonya.huber Substack: https://sonyahuber.substack.com/ Books available here: https://bookshop.org/lists/sonya-huber-s-books   — Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she teaches memoir workshops and is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Newsletter sign-up: https://ronitplank.com/#signup   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

23 Juli 202435min

Hyeseung Song joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about being raised by a “beautiful but domineering” mother, breaking free from a legacy of self-worth via external achievements, writing complicated mothers, making the switch from memoir-in-essays to linear memoir, allowing her mother to “speak” for herself, the intersection or mental health, race, and racism, intergenerational trauma and engaging with pain, gaining the distance and time necessary to tell our stories, and her memoir Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl. Also in this episode: -self-expansion -a life of art-making -forgiving yourself   Books mentioned in this episode: Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen Fierce Attachments by Vivian Gornick They Called Us Exceptional by Prachi Gupta What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo   Hyeseung Song is a first-generation Korean American writer and painter. She lives and works in New York City.    Connect with Hyeseung: Website: www.hyeseungsong.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hyeseungs Twitter: https://x.com/hyeseungs Get Docile: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Docile/Hyeseung-Song/9781668003664 — Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she teaches memoir workshops and is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Newsletter sign-up: https://ronitplank.com/#signup   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

16 Juli 202441min