141 Being Polywise with Jessica Fern and David Cooley

141 Being Polywise with Jessica Fern and David Cooley

Individuation, enmeshment, symbiosis, co-dependence, individualism, interdependence… how on Earth can we navigate through all these paradigms and bring balance to our relationships??

Luckily, in this episode, we’re joined by Jessica Fern and David Cooley, two all-star authors and practitioners in the non-monogamy space. We get into the nuances of individuation, and how to work towards differentiation in a way that is intentional instead of reactive.

We talk about the mono-mind (that sneaky thing is always causing trouble!!) and how it can be a barrier to individuation and healthy conflict resolution in non-monogamous relationships.

Jessica and David’s new book Polywise is a must-read. Learn more about it here!


Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonomgamy and The Polysecure Workbook. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love.

Learn more at www.JessicaFern.com

David Cooley is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. In his private practice, David specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, incorporating a variety of modalities including trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative theory, and mindfulness-based techniques.

To learn more about doing restorative partner work with David, visit his website here: ⁠www.restorativerelationship.com


Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com

Playing With Fire has been featured as one of the top 5 ⁠⁠best non-monogamy podcasts⁠⁠!

Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at⁠⁠ www.JoliQuiz.com

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Avsnitt(258)

253 The Shadow of Compersion

253 The Shadow of Compersion

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252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris

252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris

Relationships are messy, and when you re-imagine life with three instead of two, well, let's just say the complexity multiplies in ways you might not expect, even if you've been practicing non-monogam...

1 Aug 1h 15min

251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment

251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment

When a couple opens their relationship, there’s almost always one partner who tends to take more initiative – to seek out information, read all the books, listen to podcasts, find a poly-aware therapi...

18 Juli 48min

250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework

250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework

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4 Juli 2h 24min

[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships

[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships

When something isn't working, even if you’ve been practicing non-monogamy for a long time, it’s really easy to default into the monogamous paradigm, which offers only a few set options. But what if th...

27 Juni 51min

249 Is Your Non‑Monogamy Actually Just Two Monogamies?

249 Is Your Non‑Monogamy Actually Just Two Monogamies?

So you made the transition to non-monogamy… but you ended up feeling like you’re living two separate parallel lives in different relationships. This might not seem like that big a deal from the outsid...

20 Juni 48min

248 Beyond People-Pleasing: Practicing Healthy Autonomy in Relationships

248 Beyond People-Pleasing: Practicing Healthy Autonomy in Relationships

People pleasing is not an effective strategy on the path to healthy, conscious relating. But adopting an approach towards autonomy that amounts to ‘I don’t owe anyone anything’ is…not it either. These...

13 Juni 44min

247 Non-Monogamy, Mono-Mind: The Invisible Scripts Running Your Communication

247 Non-Monogamy, Mono-Mind: The Invisible Scripts Running Your Communication

Chances are, if you know one thing about conscious relating, it’s that communication is key. And if you’re good at communicating in monogamous relationships, you might think that those skills will eas...

6 Juni 42min

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