Playing With Fire12 Okt 2024

173 Getting off the Relationship Escalator (Or Choosing Not To)

Dating → becoming exclusive → moving in together → getting married → having kids. This is the assumed trajectory that all relationships will take. If you’ve already started exploring non-monogamy, you have some experience with breaking the mold. But even in non-monogamous relationships, it’s common to find yourself slipping back into the relationship escalator framework.

This path is so ingrained, it’s easy to feel pressure, both internal and external, to fit your life into its rigid set of steps.

We’ve been there, and we continue to work every day to question our own assumptions and tendencies. In this episode, we’re helping you reimagine relationships and relationship security beyond the confines of the relationship escalator.

In this episode, we talk about:

— What the relationship escalator is and how it shapes our expectations

— Different types of escalators beyond just romantic relationships

— Why getting off the escalator can be psychologically challenging

— How to question relationship norms and make space for alternatives

— The importance of building security outside of traditional relationship structures

— Practical ways to shift language and interactions to be more inclusive

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Amy Gahran's book Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator

— Dr. Bella DePaulo’ book Single at Heart

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

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