Playing With Fire28 Dec 2024

184 Q&A Quickie: Why get married?

If you’re polyamorous… what’s the point of getting married?? We get this question a lot. And although we are married, we also have a ton of mixed feelings about marriage. Marriage is way more complex than just saying “I do,” and we want to help you sort through those complexities so that you can decide whether or not to get (or stay) married with consciousness and integrity.

In this episode, we talk about:

— The different components of marriage: legal, social, spiritual, and romantic

— Why the legal privileges of marriage matter (even if we wish they didn't)

— How marriage can serve as a container for intentional relationship development

— The importance of understanding your personal "why" for getting married

— Why wedding vows are just the beginning of ongoing relationship agreements

— The value of regular relationship renegotiation within marriage

— How marriage intersects with non-monogamy and polyamory

— Why some choose marriage for practical benefits while others seek social recognition

— The role of ritual and ceremony in creating shared meaning

— Why "being someone's person" is a common motivation for marriage

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Heath Schechinger's work on legal protections for non-traditional relationships

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

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