#0143 - Peanuts and Puke - 01/28/2025

I kicked today off by grumbling about the absolute disaster that is my workspace. Turns out, if you want something done, you might have to do it yourself. Who knew? Then I decided to inspect if Peaches had made any progress organizing our merch. Spoiler: he hadn’t.

Next, I tackled some of humanity's dumbest sayings. "Sleep like a baby"? Sure, if you want to wake up every few hours screaming. "Healthy as a horse"? Turns out horses aren’t all that healthy—they’re expensive and can’t even vomit. Also, if I ever say "6 a.m. in the morning," just revoke my microphone privileges.

We chatted about the world’s priorities, like getting rid of pennies. Are we ready to say goodbye to those glorified copper crumbs? While I’m at it, can we also cancel toilet paper math? "12 rolls = 36"? Stop lying to us! Oh, and the nutmobile is hiring if anyone’s up for driving a giant peanut around the country. Benefits include travel, a modest salary, and—you guessed it—peanut-themed parties.

Speaking of disasters, people losing their pets need empathy, not the internet's unsolicited advice. Shoutout to whoever commented “Should’ve had your cat on a leash” under my post about my missing cat. Thanks for that. Really.

In lighter news, I stumbled upon an ancient fossilized vomit (no, it’s not in my studio) and discussed an alien abduction involving a giant mantis creature. Totally normal. Oh, and Beijing has bottled tiger urine for arthritis! Sprinkle that into your cocktail and tell me how it goes.

Finally, I weighed in on ridiculous radio slogans (yes, "Listen or Die" was my pitch—management will probably veto it), AI girlfriends taking over the dating scene, and ding-dong-ditch drama. Folks, why is a doorbell enough to send someone into a gun-toting frenzy? Anyway, we closed the show on a note about brightening up Idaho roundabouts with neon paint. Someone has to fight the endless bleakness, and it’s clearly gonna be me. Thanks for listening to my ramblings, and remember: don't trust flushable wipes, and maybe don’t mix tiger pee with wine.

0:00 - Things that people say that make no sense
6:36 - The government is talking about getting rid of pennies
10:14 - Radio station slogans are pointless and generally really lame
18:36 - Park & A Italia restaurant article from East Idaho News
20:39 - People trying to sell iPhones with TikTok for crazy amounts of money
23:32 - The Planters Nutmobile is looking for a driver
26:05 - Man has to hang on to side of train traveling 175 mph, Hong Kong anti-smoking campaign
30:07 - 66 million year old vomit, man abducted by aliens talks to 7 foot mantis, tiger urine used to cure arthritis
35:13 - DNA testing and a woman inheriting $400k from a long-lost relative
43:52 - Warn your kids to NEVER play ding-dong-ditch
47:09 - Man in China sues wife for being ugly and wins
51:16 - Looks like we will be recording a death metal heart health music video
54:01 - AI girlfriends growing in popularity
57:25 - Colorful roundabout in the UK hated by locals
1:00:43 - Be nice to people who are missing pets online