The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mars

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Waiting for Brexit

Waiting for Brexit

In a humiliating last-minute move, Prime Minister Theresa May of Britain postponed a vote in Parliament on Tuesday on the terms of the country’s divorce from the European Union. We look at why Britain is so frustrated by Brexit even before Brexit has taken effect. Guests: Ellen Barry, the chief international correspondent for The New York Times, and Stephen Castle, a Times correspondent in London. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily.This episode includes disturbing language. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

11 Dec 201833min

The Business of Selling Your Location

The Business of Selling Your Location

A New York Times investigation has found that the information being collected about us through apps on our smartphones is far more extensive than most of us imagine — or are aware we have consented to. Guests: Jennifer Valentino-DeVries, Natasha Singer and Michael H. Keller, reporters who cover technology for The Times; and Gabriel J.X. Dance, deputy investigations editor. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily.A note about this episode: The Times identified a small number of people in the location data with their permission. It did not identify anyone else in the data. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

10 Dec 201821min

The Photo of the Yemeni Girl

The Photo of the Yemeni Girl

In the three years that Saudi Arabia, supported by the United States, has been at war with the Houthis in Yemen, very few journalists have been allowed into the country to document what’s happening there. The New York Times journalist Tyler Hicks is one. This is the story of how he came to take a photograph of Amal Hussain that drew international attention to the country’s plight. Guest: Tyler Hicks, a senior photographer for The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Dec 201822min

Watering Down Democrats’ Power in Wisconsin

Watering Down Democrats’ Power in Wisconsin

Across the country, Democratic candidates for governor and attorney general won seats that had long been held by Republicans. But Republican-controlled legislatures in some states are resisting that transfer of power. Guest: Mitch Smith, who covers the Midwest for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Dec 201823min

What the West Got Wrong About China, Part 2

What the West Got Wrong About China, Part 2

When China first began experimenting with capitalism in the 1980s, the West was certain the experiment would fail. But two of its assumptions — that government controls stifle economic growth, and that the internet cannot be tamed — were quickly proven wrong.Nearly 40 years later, China rivals the United States as a global superpower. Its continued success is challenging not just the West’s assumptions about China, but the West’s assumptions about itself. Guest: Philip P. Pan, the Asia editor for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

5 Dec 201823min

What the West Got Wrong About China, Part 1

What the West Got Wrong About China, Part 1

From the very beginning, the West was certain that China would not pull off its economic experiment. That certainty came from a set of assumptions about how societies function and political freedoms emerge. But those assumptions were wrong — and China became stronger than ever. Guest: Philip P. Pan, the Asia editor for The New York Times, spoke with us from Beijing. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

4 Dec 201820min

The Legacy of George Bush

The Legacy of George Bush

George Bush rode the Reagan revolution to the White House, where he had one of the highest approval ratings of any president, and where he successfully oversaw the end of the Cold War. So why was he denied a second term? Guest: Peter Baker, who covers the White House for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

3 Dec 201829min

Why Michael Cohen Lied to Congress

Why Michael Cohen Lied to Congress

President Trump’s former lawyer has pleaded guilty to lying about Mr. Trump’s business ties to Russia and has agreed to cooperate with the special counsel investigation. It’s the second time this week that a subject of the inquiry has been charged with lying. Guest: Michael S. Schmidt, who has been covering the special counsel investigation for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

30 Nov 201820min

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