The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mars

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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The Blasey-Kavanaugh Hearing

The Blasey-Kavanaugh Hearing

She gave a raw, reluctant account of sexual assault. He gave an angry, outraged denial. And once again, the United States Senate must take a side. Guest: Kate Zernike, who covers politics for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Sep 201835min

Today’s Hearing: Trial or Job Interview?

Today’s Hearing: Trial or Job Interview?

The Senate Judiciary Committee opens its hearing into allegations against Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh today. At stake for both parties is the swing seat on an ideologically divided Supreme Court in the thick of an election battle for control of Congress. Here’s a preview of each side’s plan for the hearing. Guests: Peter Baker, who covers the White House for The New York Times, and Sheryl Gay Stolberg, who covers Congress. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

27 Sep 201824min

Revisiting What Happened to Anita Hill

Revisiting What Happened to Anita Hill

Twenty-seven years ago, the Senate Judiciary Committee questioned Anita F. Hill, a law professor, and Judge Clarence Thomas, the Supreme Court nominee she accused of sexual harassment. We look at how those events are shaping the confirmation hearings for Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh. Guest: Kate Zernike, who covers politics for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

26 Sep 201829min

The Conservative Divide Over Kavanaugh

The Conservative Divide Over Kavanaugh

Conservatives have been deeply split about how to respond to allegations of sexual assault against Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh. That’s now starting to change. Guest: Ross Douthat, an Opinion columnist for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

25 Sep 201824min

Rod Rosenstein’s Insurrection

Rod Rosenstein’s Insurrection

Days after being named deputy attorney general, Rod Rosenstein was so alarmed by what he was seeing inside the White House that he proposed a series of extreme measures. Will those proposals now cost him his job? Guest: Michael S. Schmidt, who covers national security for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

24 Sep 201824min

10 Years After the Financial Crisis

10 Years After the Financial Crisis

A decade ago, U.S. policymakers hatched a plan to rescue a financial system in free fall. Their solution solved that crisis — but deepened another. Guest: Andrew Ross Sorkin, a financial columnist for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Sep 201822min

A High School Assault

A High School Assault

The accusation against Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh has set off a national debate about how to address decades-old allegations of sexual aggression by a teenager. Here is one woman’s perspective. Guest: Caitlin Flanagan, who wrote about her experience of sexual assault in The Atlantic. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily.This episode contains descriptions of sexual assault. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

20 Sep 201824min

Will Dr. Blasey Testify?

Will Dr. Blasey Testify?

Christine Blasey Ford, who has accused Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh of sexual assault, has said she wants the F.B.I. to investigate her claims. We look at what that means for the Supreme Court confirmation process. Guest: Peter Baker, who covers the White House for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

19 Sep 201818min

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