The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mars

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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The Daily Presents “Caliphate,” Chapter 9, Part 2

The Daily Presents “Caliphate,” Chapter 9, Part 2

The New York Times has introduced a documentary audio series that follows Rukmini Callimachi, who covers terrorism for The Times, on her quest to understand ISIS. Today, as a special episode of “The Daily,” we offer Chapter 9, Part 2 of “Caliphate,” in which a young Yazidi girl returns to her family after three years in ISIS captivity, and Rukmini is there to witness it. For more information about the series, visit nytimes.com/caliphate.This episode includes disturbing language and scenes of graphic violence. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

16 Juni 201826min

The Daily Presents “Caliphate,” Chapter 9, Part 1

The Daily Presents “Caliphate,” Chapter 9, Part 1

The New York Times has introduced a documentary audio series that follows Rukmini Callimachi, who covers terrorism for The Times, on her quest to understand ISIS. Today, as a special episode of “The Daily,” we offer Chapter 9, Part 1 of “Caliphate,” in which Rukmini speaks to an ISIS detainee who challenges her to find the girl he enslaved. For more information about the series, visit nytimes.com/caliphate.This episode includes disturbing language and scenes of graphic violence. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

16 Juni 201827min

The Report on the F.B.I.’s Clinton Inquiry

The Report on the F.B.I.’s Clinton Inquiry

The Justice Department’s inspector general released a long-awaited document on Thursday on the F.B.I. investigation of Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential election. The findings could be both good and bad for President Trump. Guest: Matt Apuzzo, who covers national security for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Juni 201822min

The Narrowing Path to Asylum

The Narrowing Path to Asylum

The Trump administration has said that domestic abuse is no longer grounds for receiving permission to stay in the United States. We share one asylum seeker’s story. Guest: Mariam, a survivor of domestic violence who arrived in the United States from Burkina Faso, and who asked not to be identified by her real name. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily.This episode includes disturbing language and scenes of graphic violence. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Juni 201824min

What Trump Gave Kim

What Trump Gave Kim

In a joint statement, President Trump and the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, committed to complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula. Why is a seemingly significant promise being dismissed by critics as meaningless? Guest: Nicholas Kristof, an Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times who writes about human rights and global affairs, and who has repeatedly traveled to North Korea. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Juni 201819min

A Historic Handshake

A Historic Handshake

For the first time ever, a sitting president of the United States has met with a North Korean leader. Was the handshake between President Trump and Kim Jong-un a beginning or an end? Guest: Mark Landler, a White House correspondent for The New York Times, who is reporting on the summit meeting from Singapore. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

12 Juni 201825min

Alienating Allies and Wooing Enemies

Alienating Allies and Wooing Enemies

While on his way to the historic summit meeting with Kim Jong-un of North Korea, President Trump isolated himself from other world leaders by refusing to endorse a joint statement of the Group of 7 nations, which had just met in Canada. Why is the president picking fights with America’s closest allies and embracing its longtime opponents? Guest: Mark Landler, a White House correspondent for The New York Times, who is reporting from Singapore on the talks between Mr. Trump and Mr. Kim. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

11 Juni 201824min

The Daily Presents “Caliphate,” Chapter 8

The Daily Presents “Caliphate,” Chapter 8

The New York Times has introduced a documentary audio series that follows Rukmini Callimachi, who covers terrorism for The Times, on her quest to understand ISIS. Today, as a special episode of “The Daily,” we offer Chapter 8 of “Caliphate,” in which Rukmini finds a trove of secret documents that lead her to the mother of an ISIS official. For more information about the series, visit nytimes.com/caliphate.This episode includes disturbing language and scenes of graphic violence. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Juni 201834min

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