The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mars

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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Friday, Sept. 22, 2017

Friday, Sept. 22, 2017

As Maria tears apart the Caribbean, leaders in the region say that recent storms have created a humanitarian crisis — and that humans are to blame. Guest: Lisa Friedman, a climate reporter at The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. You can support "The Daily" by subscribing to The Times. We're offering listeners one month free, then 50% off for a year. Go to nytimes.com/thedailyoffer for more information. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Sep 201722min

Thursday, Sept. 21, 2017

Thursday, Sept. 21, 2017

Republicans are pushing for a vote to repeal the Affordable Care Act, and they’re running out of time. The effort could test a long friendship in the Senate. Guests: Thomas Kaplan, who covers Congress for The Times; Sheryl Gay Stolberg, domestic affairs correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. You can support "The Daily" by subscribing to The Times. We're offering listeners one month free, then 50% off for a year. Go to nytimes.com/thedailyoffer for more information. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Sep 201722min

Wednesday, Sept. 20, 2017

Wednesday, Sept. 20, 2017

President Trump addresses the United Nations General Assembly for the first time, and says it’s every nation for itself. We look at the speech, and the people who crafted its message. Guests: Mark Landler, who covered the president’s speech; Maggie Haberman, a White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. You can support "The Daily" by subscribing to The Times. We're offering listeners one month free, then 50% off for a year. Go to nytimes.com/thedailyoffer for more information. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

20 Sep 201719min

Tuesday, Sept. 19, 2017

Tuesday, Sept. 19, 2017

The investigation into Russia’s attempts to disrupt the election is unnerving Washington. At a Washington steakhouse, a New York Times reporter overheard just how much the tactics used by the special counsel are rattling the White House legal team. Guests: Matt Apuzzo, who has been covering the Russia investigation for The Times; Kenneth P. Vogel, the reporter who overheard that conversation in Washington. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. You can support "The Daily" by subscribing to The Times. We're offering listeners one month free, then 50% off for a year. Go to nytimes.com/thedailyoffer for more information. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

19 Sep 201720min

Monday, Sept.18, 2017

Monday, Sept.18, 2017

If they hold an undocumented criminal too long, they’re violating the Constitution. If they don’t, they’re crossing the White House. The impossible bind of sheriffs navigating Trump’s immigration crackdown. Guest: Caitlin Dickerson, who covers immigration for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. You can support "The Daily" by subscribing to The Times. We're offering listeners one month free, then 50% off for a year. Go to nytimes.com/thedailyoffer for more information. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

18 Sep 201721min

Friday, Sept.15, 2017

Friday, Sept.15, 2017

The Democrats are having a moment. In President Trump’s latest dealmaking with Democratic leadership, he says he’ll give up his most central campaign promise — at least for now: “The wall will come later.” Guests: Glenn Thrush, a White House correspondent for The New York Times; Senator Bernie Sanders, who talks with us about how he’s using this moment. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. You can support "The Daily" by subscribing to The Times. We're offering listeners one month free, then 50% off for a year. Go to nytimes.com/thedailyoffer for more information. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Sep 201724min

Thursday, Sept. 14, 2017

Thursday, Sept. 14, 2017

Nearly 400,000 Muslims have fled Myanmar in recent weeks. How could a small nation celebrated by the United States as a “good news” story of transition to democracy now be condemned by the United Nations as a “textbook example of ethnic cleansing”? Guest: Hannah Beech, the Southeast Asia bureau chief for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. You can support "The Daily" by subscribing to The Times. We're offering listeners one month free, then 50% off for a year. Go to nytimes.com/thedailyoffer for more information. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Sep 201720min

Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2017

Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2017

Russia’s interference in the 2016 election is now undisputed. What’s less clear is the role of the country’s media. A Times reporter went to Moscow to see how the Kremlin is waging an information war against the West. Guest: Jim Rutenberg, media columnist for The Times who recently returned from Russia. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Sep 201721min

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