'The Curse of Saint Valentine' by sad_millennial | A Dramione OneShot

'The Curse of Saint Valentine' by sad_millennial | A Dramione OneShot

Little late to the party, but here is an incredible Valentine's Day fic that was created by Team Cadet for the Dramione Valentine's Collab Collection 2025, curated by The Dramione Archives (me!). This fic was written by sad_millennial with beta'ing by PearlButtons, artwork by Bekazimi and narrated by The Dramione Archives.


Draco Malfoy cares little about Valentine’s Day, and cares even less about Hogwarts’s upcoming Valentine’s Day ball.

What he does care about, however, is impressing his colleague and fellow professor: one Hermione Granger.

Thus, Draco joins the faculty Party Planning Panel. All is well until his harebrained colleague, the ever-dim Liam Rutherford, brings the cursed skull of Saint Valentine into the mix.

[[Featuring Professors Dramione, nosy students and portraits, and Draco’s quest to Live Attractively While Pink.]]

Originally posted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62989351


Special thank you you all the podficcers who lent their voices to the characters: mangotart_reads, Paper Crane Audiobooks, iggygiraffe, AMP Audiobooks, Pensieve Podfics, M+G Readings, meems_toandend, FanFixation, NoxTails, kitkat2kith, Panda Patronus, trillbyskinner, shizade, and lispodfics.

Avsnitt(538)

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 37 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 37 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.Originally posted on AO3: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510668⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen to more from The Wizard Wheezes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1jiQ2LHY9IdBV2deYkBHPq?si=03fcd7810a49490d

15 Apr 1h 12min

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 36 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 36 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.Originally posted on AO3: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510668⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen to more from The Wizard Wheezes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1jiQ2LHY9IdBV2deYkBHPq?si=03fcd7810a49490d

13 Apr 29min

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 35 SPECIAL | ft. The Wizard Wheezes and sinflower81

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 35 SPECIAL | ft. The Wizard Wheezes and sinflower81

If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.Originally posted on AO3: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510668⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen to more from The Wizard Wheezes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1jiQ2LHY9IdBV2deYkBHPq?si=03fcd7810a49490d

11 Apr 1h 26min

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 34 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 34 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.Originally posted on AO3: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510668⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen to more from The Wizard Wheezes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1jiQ2LHY9IdBV2deYkBHPq?si=03fcd7810a49490d

9 Apr 49min

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 33 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 33 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.Originally posted on AO3: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510668⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen to more from The Wizard Wheezes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1jiQ2LHY9IdBV2deYkBHPq?si=03fcd7810a49490d

7 Apr 40min

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 32 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 32 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.Originally posted on AO3: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510668⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen to more from The Wizard Wheezes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1jiQ2LHY9IdBV2deYkBHPq?si=03fcd7810a49490d

5 Apr 56min

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 31 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 31 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.Originally posted on AO3: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510668⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen to more from The Wizard Wheezes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1jiQ2LHY9IdBV2deYkBHPq?si=03fcd7810a49490d

3 Apr 38min

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 30 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

'Meet Me In Dreamland' by sinflower81 | Chapter 30 | ft. The Wizard Wheezes

If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.Originally posted on AO3: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510668⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen to more from The Wizard Wheezes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1jiQ2LHY9IdBV2deYkBHPq?si=03fcd7810a49490d

1 Apr 38min

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