Panera Bread Is a Pastry Paradise
"Fine" Dining9 Apr 2025

Panera Bread Is a Pastry Paradise

We finally ate at Panera Bread — and while the bakery items impressed, the rest of the experience was a chaotic medley of kiosk confusion, bathroom code injustice, and raw onion overload. I'm joined once again by Lyss Johnson (comedian, friend, and former Panera employee) as we break down every detail of our in-person visit to the iconic soup-slinging, salad-stacking chain.

Can the cinnamon crunch bagel save this spot from mediocrity? Or is Panera coasting on vibes and vending machine tech?

🥯 The Cinnamon Crunch Bagel That Nearly Ruined Our Lives (In a Good Way)
🍲 Fireside Chili in a Bread Bowl That Got Weirdly Placental
📟 Ordering Kiosk Nightmares and the Case of the Disappearing French Dip
🚽 Bathroom Codes Are Inhumane – Let the People Pee
🍪 The Cookie That Made Us Chipper (and Maybe Changed Our Lives)
🎨 Lettuce Art, Cucky Murals, and Farmer-Flattering Decor
🎶 Off-Brand Pop Anthems That Broke Our Brains
🐔 Lyss Johnson's Score, a Chicken Bag Horror Story, and the Panera Perverts

💬 JOIN THE DISCUSSION: What's your Panera go-to? Is the soup worth the struggle?

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Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We set sail for Joe's Crab Shack — nautical nonsense or seafood salvation? 🦀

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