I Chose to Stay: A BPD Warrior’s Story

Tune in to part 3 of a most riveting and raw interview with a woman of color and BPD Warrior. From crisis action plans to disability battles, and the quiet heroism of choosing to stay alive one day at a time—this episode goes beyond surface-level mental health talk. You’ll hear about the healing power of deep house music, the bittersweet joy of love with BPD, and the fire it takes to fight for your life while the world tells you you're “too much” and the healthcare system says you’re “not enough” to be disabled?

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Podcast Episode Breakdown: "I Can’t Even Kill Myself Right"

00:00–01:07 Intro

01:07–01:30 Trigger Warning & Resources:

01:30–03:02 Art as a Lifeline:

03:02–04:23 Loss of Creative Outlets:

04:23–05:54 Support System & Love:

05:54–07:03 Misplaced Blame & Accountability:

07:03–08:27 In-the-Moment Struggles:

08:27–09:57 Hopelessness & Survival Fears:

09:57–11:53 Reframing Self-Worth:

11:53–12:35 Summary of Key Lessons:

12:35–14:18 Shame & Blame:

14:18–16:47 Disability as a Lens:

16:47–18:16 Applying for Disability:

18:16–20:01 Systemic Challenges:

20:01–22:02 Being "Too Much":

22:02–23:31 Trauma Roots of BPD

23:31–25:31 Survival & Resilience: .

25:31–26:54 Vision Boards & Healing Rituals:

26:54–28:45 The Power of Choice:

28:45–30:40 Misguided Crisis Responses:

30:40–32:21 Judgment vs. Compassion:

32:21–34:54 Staying Anonymous & Promoting BPD Melanin:

34:54–35:59 Wrap-Up & Affirmations:

35:59–36:43 Outro

Credits:

Press Pause, Inc. website: www.showmegrace.org

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole presspause4grace@gmail.com

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi