You’re Probably Thinking About Boundaries All Wrong

Bored and in love, Nell Stevens found a hobby combing the internet and entering her name into online contests. But, when she actually wins a prize — a luxury honeymoon in India — her world falls apart: The man she thought she was going to marry breaks up with her.She decides to go on the trip anyway.On today’s show, the host Anna Martin talks with Nell about her fiancé-less honeymoon — and what she had discovered about herself by the time she returned home.Today’s story“How I Lost the Fiancé but Won the Honeymoon ,” By Nell Stevens Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

26 Juli 202323min

The last time David visited his ailing grandmother, he hid his wedding ring in his pocket. He’d never told her about his identity as a gay, married man. Fearful David’s grandmother would disown him, his family never told her about David’s loving marriage with his husband, Constantino. It was an untruth David lived with until the day she died.Today, David shares how that untruth left a gaping hole in his relationship with his grandmother — and the power of telling the truth in his eulogy.Today’s story“The House Where My Husband Doesn’t Exist,” By David Khalaf Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

19 Juli 202314min

Imagine you are on vacation. Your favorite shirt is waiting for you in your suitcase. You go to put it on, only to realize it’s not there. You forgot it, and there’s nothing you can do now.That’s an experience that played out time and again for Natalie Muñoz, who split her childhood and adolescence between her parents’ houses after their divorce. Now that she’s turning 18, she tells us how she’s finding a balance that works better for her.Then, Modern Love listeners share stories about the moment they knew their parents were really divorcing and how that feeling has lingered throughout their lives.Today's Story:"My Two-House, Duffel-Bag Life," by Natalie Muñoz Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

12 Juli 202323min

Kema Christian-Coates’s childhood was filled with “holiday men,” absentee fathers — including her own — who returned each year around Christmas only to disappear again. Her father’s absence left a hole in her life and the fear that she, like her mother and grandmother, would never find a man she could rely on.Today, we hear Kema’s story on realizing the power of her mother and grandmother’s presence in her life and on finding a lasting partnership.Today’s story:“The Gift of Missing Men,” by Kema Christian-Coates Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

5 Juli 202310min

Having sex in a car is usually a last resort, born from the trappings of youth. For Susan Silas, it was a midlife necessity.While working as a production accountant on a sitcom, Susan met a teamster. Despite having little in common — he was former military; she had been an antiwar protester — they hit it off. But, without a private place to go to, they found themselves having sex in the back seat of the teamster’s car. It wouldn’t be the last time.Today, Susan shares how car sex turned into something deeper.Today’s story:“Sex on the Run? No, We Parked,” by Susan Silas. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

28 Juni 202318min

As one of the only Indian girls in her tiny Canadian mountain town, Natasha Singh stood out — and she was unafraid of being different. At 13, she shaved her head. By 17, she had run away for good. A few years later she came out to her mother.Natasha’s worldview was worlds apart from her very traditional immigrant parents. Her mother always wore a sari — never pants — and Natasha longed for the power and control her father wielded in the family. She balked at the idea of marriage. That is, until she found Branly.Now, decades after leaving home and watching her parents age together, Natasha reflects on a new understanding of her parents and an appreciation for the devotion they shared. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

21 Juni 202325min

Clare Almand was born with congenital heart disease, so her life was never what she would call “normal.” By the time she was 30, she’d had 10 open-heart surgeries and her health was rapidly declining. Clare thought she was dying.With death looming, she was running out of time to do something she’d never done, something she felt like everyone else had already checked off their list. Clare felt she was running out of time to lose her virginity.Today, Anna Martin sits down with Clare to discuss wanting to be normal, at least in one small way. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

14 Juni 202318min

Bob Morris could tell that something was changing with his elderly father: His car was clean, his manners had improved and he had a shine in his eyes. He had a new “lady friend.” Her name was Arlene.Arlene loved Bob’s father, but she also set clear boundaries with him. She didn’t want to care for him when he got sick and — despite what Bob’s father led Bob to believe — she didn’t want to marry him.Today, Anna Martin talks to Bob about his father’s last love story. Then, she talks to Arlene herself about a misunderstood marriage proposal and the limits of love.Today’s episode mentions suicide. If you’re having thoughts of suicide or are concerned that someone you know may be having those thoughts, the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

7 Juni 202329min