Lindy and Meagan are Scoot Scoot Scootin’ on Heaven’s Door

This week we are proud to report that we have a husband listener! Welcome, buddy! And what a time to be a new listener and/or a husband, because in this episode Lindy and Meagan are doing the Lord’s work: ranking dragons. We’re talking about Smaug. We’re talking about Puff. We’re talking about…the other ones.BUT THEN, as if that wasn’t enough, Lindy and Meagan bravely breach a topic few have dedicated so much air time to. It’s a little something with a big story to tell, it’s the must-have accessory for your high A1C, it’s an ear worm even mightier than the one in RFK Jr.'s brain. It’s the Jardiance jingle, and in case you were wondering: yes, we play it in its entirety.If YOU are a husband who listens to the show, we want to hear from your wife! Let her know how much you love the show, and have her text or call us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

27 Juni 202449min

This week's episode is hot hot hot—literally and figuratively. We’ve got a special guest! Our personal hero Lizz Winstead, who's been making waves in comedy and politics for decades. And Lindy does NOT make it weird. One dragon question per guest IS normal.Lizz Winstead is the co-creator and former head writer of The Daily Show, co-founder of Air America Radio, and current powerhouse behind Abortion Access Front. Lizz dishes on her storied career, shares tales from the front lines of abortion access activism, and gives us the scoop on her latest project—the documentary No One Asked You, currently making rounds at film festivals (our Provincetown listeners need to go to the screening literally today!). We wrap up with a revealing game of F.M.K.I.H.B.F.D.T.S (the famous game you know and love) involving some of our favorite and most dangerous political villains. Tune in to hear how Lizz weaponizes karaoke and Freaky Friday mind swaps for the good. Find a screening of No One Asked You near you at:https://www.nooneaskedyoudoc.com/screeningsLearn more about Abortion Access Front (and consider donating!) at:https://www.aafront.org/⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

13 Juni 20241h 4min

This week, Lindy and Meagan both realize that they've been having thoughts about dogs, which we're sharing in a new segment called DOG THOUGHTS. What if dogs could sweat? And what, exactly, is the nature of a dog's business?Then, we have a story from the Best Friend Party Phone about a piece of fan mail gone horribly wrong--a seemingly innocent letter traumatized a room full of fourth graders, teaching them the hard way that the Killer is real and he lurks everywhere. Even in your homework assignments. Lindy and Meagan go on to reminisce about their own experiences bothering celebrities in the 1990s, including one of the most legendary moments from their friendship lore: the time they met their late-night talk show host hero. Tune in to find out how much they scared him!And finally, your intrepid hosts discuss WHATCHA WATCHIN'???, a segment about whatch they watchin'. Spoiler alert: Lindy is watching Shogun and Meagan is watching true crime slop. But thank god for the slop, because Meagan has uncovered evidence suggesting that Keith THEE Morrison is not only a superfan of this podcast but subscribes to the Patreon as well. Delusional? You be the judge.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 Juni 202459min

What a day! Lindy delivers some hot hot hot breaking news: she's become a flat earther, for real, not a joke*, and you won't BELIEVE what finally pushed her over the edge, so to speak. (It involves one Instagram reel, two mysterious travelers, and an unconfirmed number of dragons.) Then, Meagan updates us on her DC swamp life in a new segment called "Oops, I Crapped My Real Job!" Find out what Meagan *personally* is doing to punish Justice Samuel Alito for being a naughty boy, featuring her Mean Mommy Business Voice on the mic at a bona fide press conference with real live congresspeoples! She got 'em! This is why she's so sleepy all the time!And lastly, Meagan and Lindy dispense trivial advice to listeners struggling with low-stakes problems. Nothing important, nothing stressful! Please don't ask for advice on your divorce, but they will tell you what color notebook to get!Is this both the funniest AND the most informative Text Me Back of all time? There's no way to know unless you download it and listen to the whole thing all the way through twice!*It is a joke⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 Maj 20241h 5min

This week, something has gone wrong with Meagan's brain and it's NOT a worm! It has something to do with finding an Amish dog named Kevin online, becoming hypnotized by his tiny bear face, then entering a fugue state and traveling to his location in Lancaster, PA with $850 in cash and the backing of literally dozens of listeners to purchase him. Is this an ethical way to acquire a dog? No. Was Kevin worth it? 100000%.Then, Lindy -- a connoisseur of oceanic news -- brings an aquatic story of great significance from one of our Nation's most trustworthy journalistic sources: Instagram reels. This story has everything: an air guitar contest, one or two chill brewskis at most, a man overboard, a creature of some kind, and a stick. Lindy and Meagan ponder what they'd do under similar harrowing circumstances, then rank sticks from worst to best.You won't want to miss this episode! We've already sent it to the Library of Congress for preservation!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

23 Maj 202449min

In this week's episode, Lindy reveals that her neighborhood bear is BACK, and his threat level has been upgraded to "habituated trash bear." No pic-a-nic basket is safe! Lindy also breaks her silence on a secret she's been keeping about the band Imagine Dragons, and Meagan finally addresses the elephant in the room: does Lindy... not listen to music?????Meagan reaches into the mailbag and shares an unhinged yet joyful letter (found by a listener) about public diarrhea and not quite making it to the Dairy Queen in time, which gets the gals reminiscing about college.Then it's a hard look inside the biggest story of the week, which is OF COURSE the worm that ate part of RFK Jr.'s brain and then died. Should the presidency have a No Brain Worms policy, or is that an ableist purity test? Is getting a brain worm the first likable thing about this man? Lindy and Meagan discuss!And finally, two big announcements for our Patreon subscribers! First, that Lindy and Meagan are going to let you pick their best-friends tattoo, literally. And second, that they'll be posting an episode-by-episode subscribers-only rewatch of Shrill! Listen for more info and subscribe if you want access to all the fun.Hope you love it, besties!The Glad Tidings Chorale is:Allegra MartinAndreas BelboeAndoodooHolly HartlineJennifer Darling-MellottKate HarringtonKiki PorterKendra ZzyzwyckOlivia SmithPhédre SchifanoRobert (@violadagoomba)Stephen O’Bent⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative wizard. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

16 Maj 202459min

In this week's episode, Lindy and Meagan are comin' atcha LIVE from the Cascade PBS Ideas Festival with a very special celebrity guest: actor, comedian, girls' girl, Hollywoodlandman, and kind of a lawyer(!!!), Guy Branum! Meagan and Lindy trick Guy into giving up the goods on every single celebrity encounter he has ever had, including a drunken cab ride with a freestyle-rapping Zac Efron and a personal betrayal by the hottest gay in Hollywood. Then, Meagan and Guy turn their legal and comedic mega-minds to the most vital task in the war to save American Democracy: coming up with Real Housewives taglines for all nine members of the Supreme Court. Got 'em! Which justice does Guy declare to be a "messy bitch"? You'll have to listen to find out!Hope you love it, besties! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our editor is Lindy West.Our music and mixing is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo (except for this episode, which Lindy had to try and "mix" herself because Aham is on vacation, so please do not blame him). Diana Bowen is our video and creative wizard. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Follow Guy on Instagram at @guybranum!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Maj 202445min

In this week's episode, Lindy and Meagan once again trick themselves into maybe becoming Christians?? Because Divine Providence has once again struck the podcast as holy connections are made between pubes, German composer George Frideric Handel, and the Text Me Backolytes who love them.Alas, Lindy and Meagan quickly dispense with beatification and instead turn to necromancy -- bringing back two old segments from the dead: "I Can Fix Her," a segment about purchasing little items that will fix your whole life, and "One Minute Hate," a segment about all the shit we hate, from Bobby Flay to shrimp, with an assist from our beloved listeners!Enjoy, besties!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our editor is Lindy West. Our music and our mixing is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative wizard. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. This week, we'd also like to specially thank Alex Rochester for running the old Text Me Back text club at KUOW where folks sent in their hate for today's segment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2 Maj 202459min