22: Is Your Brain Your Friend? Taming Your Negative Self-Talk

Years ago, when my therapist first pointed this out to me, it completely changed how I understood myself.

Here's what she said … "You talk to yourself all day long, pay attention to what you're saying."

I have to admit that at first, I was skeptical. I was like, "I don't talk to myself all day!" But I tried it and simply noticed, and wow, was I wrong.

Once I started paying attention to my inner talk, what I heard wasn't pretty. I was saying things to myself that I'd NEVER say to another person. It was harsh, critical, and honestly, kind of mean.

It was shocking but also super helpful.

It helped me understand why I felt and acted in certain ways, like constantly trying to prove myself. Before that, I didn't even realize this internal dialogue was happening. We often start believing those negative thoughts, and that's when we get into trouble.

Our brains have a negativity bias that's designed to keep us safe. Back in the day, being kicked out of your group meant certain death. Now, our brains still act like rejection or disapproval means the end of the world.

It's not true, but our brains haven't quite caught up. So, our brains are constantly scanning for things that could hurt us, emotionally or physically. This makes us more likely to focus on our mistakes, flaws, and what we fear, and can easily spin out to negativity or depression.

In this episode, you'll hear some practical tips on how to challenge your negative self-talk.

Here's what you'll discover today:

• Everyone has an internal dialogue, and it's not always nice. Pay attention to what yours is saying.
• Negative self-talk can greatly affect our mood and behaviour.
• Our brains have a negativity bias to keep us safe, but it can often backfire.
• You can challenge negative thoughts and replace them with helpful ones.
• Self-compassion is key to managing and overcoming negative self-talk.

Recommended Actions:

• For one hour, write down your thoughts and take notice.
• Set an intention each day for how you want to feel.
• Create a list of helpful thoughts to counteract the negative ones.
• Practice replacing negative thoughts with positive ones throughout the day.
• Be kind and compassionate with yourself when you make a mistake.

Links:

• Get in touch to book a free 20-minute consultation at https://www.kimberlyknull.com/contact