Ep 35 – What It’s Really Like to Have a Spanking Fetish: Kai and Sarah’s Story of Suppression, Self-Acceptance, and Finding Each Other (Part 1)

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Candace and Derek for Part 2 of our conversation, and trust me, it’s even juicier than the first. From pegging to big dick fantasies to how swinging became part of their love story. This is a real, vulnerable, and hilarious look into intimacy, growth, and letting go of shame.We dive deep into how religious upbringing impacted Candace’s early sexuality, and how swinging became the unlikely key to her self-love and confidence. They open up about power dynamics, gender roles, jealousy, and the emotional safety it takes to build something that lasts even when other people are watching. We talk about everything from consent violations in group spaces to what it means to hold each other emotionally through sex with others. This isn’t your average swinger story. It’s a masterclass in communication, trust, and letting yourself be seen.If you’ve ever wondered what real intimacy looks like when you add kink, faith, and a whole lot of dirty talk into the mix, this episode is for you. Tune in to hear how Candace and Derek turned religious pressure into empowered pleasure, and how they’re still rewriting the rules of what love and connection can look like.Episode Highlights: 01:27 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Acceptance04:13 Balancing Religion and Lifestyle24:41 First Swinger Party Experience29:49 Positive Feedback and Consent37:32 Setting Boundaries and Communication41:08 Handling Jealousy and Self-Discovery42:45 Advice for CouplesConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

28 Maj 1h 1min

What actually happens when a long-term monogamous couple decides to explore the world of sex parties and kink for the very first time? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with married couple Derek and Candace, who share exactly what went down during their very first hotwife party weekend in Vegas. We talk about navigating consent, comfort, and connection in group play spaces, what makes or breaks a sex party vibe, and how Derek and Candace transitioned from a deeply monogamous marriage to a more open, exploratory dynamic. They also open up about what sparked their curiosity, what it’s like to play with others while staying emotionally connected as a couple, and how kink helped them redefine trust, intimacy, and their relationship to pleasure. We also dig into how emotional safety, exhibitionism, and even shared eye contact can be turn-ons in public play.If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to attend a sex party, open up your relationship, or explore kink for the first time with a partner, this episode offers a raw and relatable perspective. Tune in to hear how one spontaneous night helped spark a new era in their marriage and why connection, honesty, and curiosity matter more than any label.Episode Highlights: 00:39 Meeting at the Hot Wife Party05:45 Exploring the Playrooms13:45 How Derek and Candace Met20:09 Intentional Setup: Creating the Perfect Environment24:37 Reflecting on the Date: Rules and Realizations28:36 Exploring Kinks and Desires31:47 Candace's Porn AddictionConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

21 Maj 36min

What happens when a sex educator builds a half-million-strong following by telling the unfiltered truth about kink, consent, and community?In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with the unapologetically brilliant Moxie Rose who is a TikTok creator and in-house educator at Shop Quinky. We get into what it means to lead with authenticity, hold ethical boundaries as an educator, and show up in kink spaces without shame.Moxie shares her journey from private in-person educator to public kink figure, including how “The Moxie” move went viral, what it’s really like teaching sex ed online, and the importance of rejecting pressure to "go harder" just to prove you're kinky enough. We also dive into her thoughts on power dynamics, teaching consent, fighting coercion in kink spaces, and building inclusive, trust-first communities. From munches to shop floors to massive online platforms, she’s seen it all—and she’s here to tell it like it is.Whether you're new to kink, building your community, or figuring out where you stand on power and play, this episode is packed with real talk and honest insight. Tune in for a raw, hilarious, and grounded conversation that will leave you smarter, safer, and ready to lead with intention.Episode Highlights: 04:01 The Moxie: A Unique Intimacy Technique06:34 The Importance of Ethical and Inclusive Education15:18 Building and Finding Good Communities18:47 Joining Mr. Pierre Fashion19:58 The Kink Community and Education20:38 Challenges with Selling Adult Products22:23 The Role of Education in Kink34:27 Importance of Boundaries and ConsentConnect with Moxiehttps://www.instagram.com/moxierosedances/https://shopquinky.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

14 Maj 39min

Ep 29 - How to Talk Dirty with Confidence: Expert Tips from Luna MatasWhat really holds people back from talking dirty in bed? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Luna Matas who is a Sex and Pleasure Educator, to break down why dirty talk is so hard for so many of us, and how to stop overthinking and start connecting.We explore Luna’s unique approach to helping people get out of their heads and into their bodies using fantasy, narration, and even some kink-inspired techniques. Luna also shares her favorite tools for unlocking sexy communication, some tips on how to create emotional safety for expression, and why “awkward” isn’t a reason to give up. Whether you’re a total newbie or just looking to sharpen your dirty talk game, this episode will give you a new perspective on sexual confidence, intimacy, and how we can all learn to use our words for connection and play. Tune in for some fun and a whole lot of truth you’ll want to bring into your next bedroom adventure.Episode Highlights: 05:09 Techniques for Effective Dirty Talk08:57 Building Sexual Confidence09:46 Practical Tips for Dirty Talk15:16 Mixing Sultry and Silly in Dirty Talk19:54 Balancing Kinky and Vanilla Needs23:40 Learning to Receive and Set Boundaries28:43 Body Positivity and Erotic Creativity29:56 Continuous Learning in Kink and SexConnect with Luna Matatashttps://lunamatatas.com/https://www.instagram.com/lunamatatashttps://twitter.com/lunamatatasConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

7 Maj 31min

What happens when a couple decides to put the real parts of their relationship online—the good, the bad, and the brutally honest? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Ben and Jas, the wildly relatable couple behind one of Instagram’s most candid and inspiring sex-positive platforms. From viral videos to deep conversations about intimacy, communication, and kink exploration, Ben and Jas are showing the world what real connection actually looks like.We dive into how their journey from OnlyFans content to relationship coaching started, the challenges of navigating intimacy both on and off camera, and why emotional safety and trust are the real keys to better sex. Ben and Jas open up about their 30 Days of Sex challenge, lessons learned from experimenting with CNC, balancing business and pleasure, and how open communication (even about rejection) keeps their bond strong. Plus, we get into their future plans, including long-form content and empowering more couples to have the conversations that matter.If you’re craving a refreshingly real take on modern relationships, communication, sex, and building intimacy without the bullshit, this episode is for you. Tune in for laughs, vulnerable moments, and actionable insights you’ll want to bring straight into your own bedroom.Episode Highlights: 02:15 The Importance of Open Communication03:30 Balancing Personal and Professional Lives06:55 Navigating Feedback in Relationships15:56 The 30 Days of Sex Challenge21:11 Exploring Kinks and Boundaries32:07 Family Reactions to OnlyFans38:50 Advice for Aspiring Content CreatorsConnect with Ben and Jas: https://www.instagram.com/ben_and_jas/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

30 Apr 47min

What if erotic storytelling could teach you more about intimacy than a sex-ed class ever did? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by one of my favorite creators, Nik—also known as The Forge Bear—whose voice is as powerful as his presence. Nik takes us behind the scenes of his work as an audio erotica creator on Quinn and shares how he uses storytelling to explore sexual self-discovery, kink dynamics, and authentic connection.We dive deep into kink education, consent, communication, and the battle against performative sexuality online. Nik opens up about his journey from psychology student to audio dom, how he vets play partners, and why building trust is the foundation of any great scene. From safe words to CNC to emotional aftercare, this conversation is full of wisdom, warmth, and way more depth than you’ll find in your average “Dom voice” TikTok.If you’re curious about kink but don’t know where to start, or you’re craving deeper conversations about power, pleasure, and presence, this episode is for you. Tune in for an intimate, unfiltered, and wildly informative conversation that’s as hot as it is healing.Episode Highlights: 01:06 The Power of Audio Erotica04:45 The Role of a Sex Educator05:54 Challenges of Digital Education08:28 Social Media and Misinformation10:04 Understanding Dom-Sub Dynamics16:04 Building Trust and Communication with Play Partners28:37 Advice for Kinky BeginnersConnect with Nik: https://www.instagram.com/nik_the_forge_bear_creationshttps://tiktok.com/@nikgrizz,@niktheforgebearhttps://www.tryquinn.com/creators/nikgrizzConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

23 Apr 31min

What if the parts of you you’ve been told to suppress are actually your most authentic self? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Dove from @littlespaces.co to explore what it really means to be a little—from discovering the dynamic through romance novels to navigating shame, connection, and kink identity. Whether you’re new to the world of caregiver/little dynamics or curious about exploring it on your own, Dove’s story offers a rare blend of vulnerability and wisdom.We get into the difference between little space and age play, what it’s like to access little space solo, and how emotional safety, consent, and presence play a huge role in kink-informed relationships. Dove shares the beauty of the caregiver/little dynamic, how she reconnected with her now-daddy dom partner, and what it means to explore vulnerability as a source of joy, not shame. We also talk about representation, personal growth, and how labels like “little” and “middle” are just tools—not boxes—to help us connect more deeply with ourselves and others.If you’ve ever felt the pull to explore this part of yourself, or you’re just curious about the emotional side of kink, this episode is your permission slip to lean in. Tune in for a powerful, tender, and deeply validating conversation about kink, identity, and reclaiming your inner softness.Episode Highlights: 01:19 Dove's Journey into Littlespace04:49 Understanding Littlespace and Age Play12:19 Exploring Littlespace Alone and with a Partner21:29 Finding Community and Support28:08 Navigating Consent and Misconceptions30:29 Vetting Potential Partners34:01 Advice for New Littles38:52 Exploring Middle SpaceCheckout The Little Spaceshttps://littlespaces.co/https://www.instagram.com/littlespaces.co/https://payhip.com/littlespacesConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

16 Apr 41min

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by the brilliant Emma Xin Velicky, founder of Saturday Box—a company designing immersive kink and roleplay experience kits for couples. Emma opens up about her personal evolution from a conservative, sex-negative upbringing to writing romance and co-creating a business that makes intimacy playful, safe, and accessible.We talk about how Saturday Box blends kink with storytelling, bringing fantasies to life through curated scenes that range from beginner-friendly kink kits to more advanced roleplay adventures. From game mechanics to emotional safety, Emma shares how she and her husband—a game designer—crafted each box to spark connection, deepen communication, and make exploration fun (and hot). I also share my own spicy experience with the Interrogation Scene Box, and spoiler: it did not disappoint.If you’re curious about how to spice up your relationship, ease into kink with confidence, or just love the idea of turning your bedroom into a choose-your-own-adventure game, this conversation is for you. Tune in for real talk on emotional intelligence, fantasy, and finding freedom through play.Episode Highlights: 02:22 Creating Playful and Replayable Experiences03:04 Exploring Different Role Play Options04:23 Balancing Experience Levels in Kink06:07 Dominance and Misconceptions19:26 Safety and Customization in Role Play27:45 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Kink29:33 The Problem with Kink Being Underground35:27 The Joy of Role Play43:09 Kink in Media and SocietyCheckout Saturday Box: https://saturdaybox.com/https://www.instagram.com/saturday_box/https://www.tiktok.com/@saturday_boxUSE THE CODE: TKC upon checkout to get 10% off!Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

11 Apr 53min