792: Psychologist and New York Times Best-Selling Author on the Discipline of Letting Go

792: Psychologist and New York Times Best-Selling Author on the Discipline of Letting Go

In this reflective conversation, psychologist and author Dr. Bob Rosen examines the unspoken attachments that often shape executive behavior, frequently without conscious awareness. His framework, drawn from decades of work with leaders navigating volatility and pressure, identifies recurring psychological patterns that can impair decision-making, reduce well-being, and diminish long-term effectiveness.

Rosen outlines the dominant attachments that affect leadership behavior, each is rooted in fear, and each manifests in distinct and sometimes destructive ways. The discussion offers five key insights for senior professionals:

  1. Attachment to Success Can Drive Burnout, Not Fulfillment. When external validation becomes the metric for self-worth, leaders risk defining their identity by performance alone. As Rosen notes, “Who you are drives what you do, not what you do defines who you are.” The antidote, he argues, is cultivating an internal orientation of abundance, recognizing that self-worth is not conditional.
  2. Unexamined Attachments Are Often Reinforced by Organizational Systems. Rosen points out that performance-based compensation and cultural norms can unintentionally reward self-absorption or control-seeking behavior in leaders, thereby entrenching these attachments further. Shifting these dynamics requires institutional as well as personal change.
  3. Emotional Maturity Is Measured by the Capacity to Sit with Discomfort. Many attachments serve to mask fear—through overwork, consumerism, perfectionism, or self-isolation. Leaders must develop the capacity to experience discomfort without anesthetizing it through compulsive behavior, a discipline Rosen describes as essential to long-term growth.
  4. Aging Offers Strategic and Personal Opportunity, If Leaders Reframe It. Rosen challenges internalized ageism and presents aging as a stage of potential, not decline. He advocates for embracing imperfection, accepting physical limits, and consciously transitioning into roles of service, wisdom-sharing, and inner peace. “You choose,” he states, “to walk a path of regret or a path of gratitude.”
  5. Self-Awareness Is a Precondition for Organizational Leadership. Rosen recommends a structured four-part process for identifying and softening attachments: awareness and acceptance, diagnosis of the underlying fear, vision of an aspirational alternative, and aligned daily action. This framework, he notes, should be viewed not as a retreat from strategy, but as a foundation for sustaining it.

The episode ultimately frames leadership not as a mastery of tasks, but as a form of inner clarity that shapes every external result. For executives in fast-moving environments, this conversation provides a disciplined yet humane approach to personal development, grounded in realism, not rhetoric.

Learn more about Bob Rosen here: https://www.bobrosen.com/

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49: Join Accenture etc?

49: Join Accenture etc?

We get this question more times than you can imagine. We also get a chorus of Accenture people telling us we are wrong, and they are “eating McKinsey’s lunch.” I think the question posed is incorrect and the defense of Accenture is incorrect. This podcast explains why. BBM are good at advising decision makers on general management issues. They excel at that. They are pretty much no-where in the implementation space. Accenture, Deloitte SO etc have their areas of strength, but it is not in the general management advisory space. They are both good at different things. Decide what you want to do and then pick the firm. However, don’t assume a firm is good everything, and if you have never worked at BBM, don’t believe everything your Accenture/Deloitte/[add your firms name here] partner says. Get first-hand information. FYI – Kennedy Research, the Economist and IDC Research are not first-hand information and neither is getting the opinion of a junior person or someone with just one or two years experience.

30 Dec 201113min

48: BCG And Clients

48: BCG And Clients

Not all BCG engagements begin via a call from the CEO or Chairman of the board. Many do, but life is not that simple. Some, unusually, begin with a call from a middle-manager who does not speak English well. What differentiates BCG, and McKinsey, from Tier-2 firms, however, is how we handle these calls, understand the deeper problems, and cascade the issues upwards until, when the time counts, we are in front of the board. Most Tier-2 firms receiving the same call would settle to try to sell the middle-manager a $100K project or simply dismiss him as unimportant. BCG uses it has an opportunity to learn.

24 Dec 201140min

47: Greg Smith's Goldman Op-Ed

47: Greg Smith's Goldman Op-Ed

I have had many people emailing me the Goldman Sachs letter to tell me that, “Michael, this is exactly what you teach us.” It is not. I fundamentally disagree with what Greg Smith did. It goes against the consulting culture, values and ethos, at its very fiber. Here is why, and I would welcome your comments on this.

18 Dec 201129min

46: Comparing 2011 MBA Salaries

46: Comparing 2011 MBA Salaries

Based on offers made to our candidates in the Fall 2011 full-time recruiting, we present the ranges of packages offered. The sample size, 48, is large enough to offer a good approximation of all offers extended. Listeners are cautioned not to extend these numbers outside the USA, where salaries differ significantly. As expected, Accenture and Deloitte dramatically out-offered Bain, BCG and McKinsey.

12 Dec 201114min

45: Follow A Corporate Finance Study

45: Follow A Corporate Finance Study

An earlier podcast discussed a fairly labor-intensive case where we needed to literally roll-up our sleeves to find and extract data. This is the opposite engagement. It is the glamorous engagement all aspiring consultants dream about and imagine consulting is about. In this engagement, we worked for the largest company in the world, in its sector, to understand how to increase its share price. We were based out of The City in London and had to change conventional wisdom about value creation. I had the good fortune to lead this engagement.

6 Dec 201143min

44: Why Most Fail the FIT Interview Outside the FIT

44: Why Most Fail the FIT Interview Outside the FIT

Many, many see fit as just 15 minutes of the full case. That is a dangerous myth. You are always being assessed for fit, even when the formal fit portion has ended. Provided you understand this, you will be fine in cases. Moreover, do not memorize answers. The main part of the fit is not the initial answer you provide, but the cross-examination which will follow, especially with McKinsey, and you can never be prepared for that.

30 Nov 201113min

43: BTO Applications and Interviews Strategies

43: BTO Applications and Interviews Strategies

This podcast addresses some of the common misconceptions candidates have, and the mistakes they routinely make for this McKinsey path. Many of this mistakes commonly arise due to the nature of the work done in BTO. We advice applicants to focus less on "what" is done and much more on "how" it is done. This is also one practice we have been most successful in placing older candidates.

24 Nov 20117min

42: Traits of Successful Consulting Applicants

42: Traits of Successful Consulting Applicants

A continuation of a podcast series we regularly update which looks at new traits and examines some in greater detail. In this posting, we spend more time looking at experienced candidates. Experienced candidates face unique and material challenges such as being out of an university recruiting cycle (out-of-cycle), having to prove their analytic skills, having to prove their ramp-up rate etc. We discuss how successful clients in our program have met these challenges and thrived.

18 Nov 201118min

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