792: Psychologist and New York Times Best-Selling Author on the Discipline of Letting Go

792: Psychologist and New York Times Best-Selling Author on the Discipline of Letting Go

In this reflective conversation, psychologist and author Dr. Bob Rosen examines the unspoken attachments that often shape executive behavior, frequently without conscious awareness. His framework, drawn from decades of work with leaders navigating volatility and pressure, identifies recurring psychological patterns that can impair decision-making, reduce well-being, and diminish long-term effectiveness.

Rosen outlines the dominant attachments that affect leadership behavior, each is rooted in fear, and each manifests in distinct and sometimes destructive ways. The discussion offers five key insights for senior professionals:

  1. Attachment to Success Can Drive Burnout, Not Fulfillment. When external validation becomes the metric for self-worth, leaders risk defining their identity by performance alone. As Rosen notes, “Who you are drives what you do, not what you do defines who you are.” The antidote, he argues, is cultivating an internal orientation of abundance, recognizing that self-worth is not conditional.
  2. Unexamined Attachments Are Often Reinforced by Organizational Systems. Rosen points out that performance-based compensation and cultural norms can unintentionally reward self-absorption or control-seeking behavior in leaders, thereby entrenching these attachments further. Shifting these dynamics requires institutional as well as personal change.
  3. Emotional Maturity Is Measured by the Capacity to Sit with Discomfort. Many attachments serve to mask fear—through overwork, consumerism, perfectionism, or self-isolation. Leaders must develop the capacity to experience discomfort without anesthetizing it through compulsive behavior, a discipline Rosen describes as essential to long-term growth.
  4. Aging Offers Strategic and Personal Opportunity, If Leaders Reframe It. Rosen challenges internalized ageism and presents aging as a stage of potential, not decline. He advocates for embracing imperfection, accepting physical limits, and consciously transitioning into roles of service, wisdom-sharing, and inner peace. “You choose,” he states, “to walk a path of regret or a path of gratitude.”
  5. Self-Awareness Is a Precondition for Organizational Leadership. Rosen recommends a structured four-part process for identifying and softening attachments: awareness and acceptance, diagnosis of the underlying fear, vision of an aspirational alternative, and aligned daily action. This framework, he notes, should be viewed not as a retreat from strategy, but as a foundation for sustaining it.

The episode ultimately frames leadership not as a mastery of tasks, but as a form of inner clarity that shapes every external result. For executives in fast-moving environments, this conversation provides a disciplined yet humane approach to personal development, grounded in realism, not rhetoric.

Learn more about Bob Rosen here: https://www.bobrosen.com/

Here are some free gifts for you:

Overall Approach Used in Well-Managed Strategy Studies free download: www.firmsconsulting.com/OverallApproach

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41: Canadian MBA Programs for Consulting

41: Canadian MBA Programs for Consulting

This podcast provides some behind the scenes numbers about MBA program in the Great White North, as well as some tough questions candidates should ask themselves before applying. The headline is that the traditional power-house schools like Ivey and McGill have essentially fallen dramatically behind and largely rely on their alumni success versus any real weight in the current placement numbers.

12 Nov 201118min

40: Advice for Deeply Experienced Candidates

40: Advice for Deeply Experienced Candidates

This podcast looks at the profile of an older MBA candidate who has extensive oil and gas expertise. We offer some counter-intuitive advice to this candidate for their career and planning. While we use an oil and gas profile, this advice is relevant to any experienced hire and we caution candidates to think very carefully about the quality of their backgrounds when applying this advice to their own needs. The quality is what matters - not the time spent in a sector.

6 Nov 201110min

39: Converting the internship

39: Converting the internship

This podcast presents some proven strategies candidates can apply this summer. We will discuss actual internship examples from our own experiences in consulting firms, and the characteristics of the successful candidates. In particular, I will discuss of the very earliest interns I had the opportunity to hire as a principal and discuss their widely diverging careers, largely built of their internship performance.

31 Okt 201124min

38: Case Interview feedback is not gospel

38: Case Interview feedback is not gospel

Too many aspiring consultants stick too closely to the feedback provided by consulting firms after an interview. The problem with this strategy is that it assumes the feedback is truthful, useful and even designed to help you. This podcast explains how you need to go about critically evaluating the feedback you use, what to use and what to discard. This is an important podcast lest you end up chasing fictitious development areas.

25 Okt 201115min

37: Lessons from Jan 2012 Internships

37: Lessons from Jan 2012 Internships

In this podcast we extract the most important mistakes, best-practices and lessons learned from our clients who interviewed and are still interviewing through the January 2012 US MBA internships.

19 Okt 201128min

36: Public Sector Consulting

36: Public Sector Consulting

Far too many candidates think public sector work is boring. In fact, just the opposite is true. Public sector work typically falls into 4 categories: national government, regional government, state-owned-enterprises and state initiatives. This podcast focuses on national government and state-owned-enterprises, and we want to show you that these engagements are among the most eminent, significant, challenging and career enhancing. We will discuss specific engagements (scrubbed for detail) and why they are in many ways more exciting than private sector projects.

13 Okt 201123min

35: Deloitte S&O vs. McKinsey EM

35: Deloitte S&O vs. McKinsey EM

We have responded to the bolded out part of the question below: “As a person from a big emerging market interested in the long term career in my region, I am thinking about which strategy makes more sense for a person like me: 1) start at BBM in his own country 2) start at BBM in the US, transferring after some time back to his country (to BBM or directly to industry). I can think of the following pros of the first option: a) better chances for success at BBM due to the absence of cultural barriers, higher growth of BBM in that country b) better exit opportunities c) the earlier opportunity to start building professional network in that country d) better experience at BBM due to higher chance of being staffed on “crown-jewel” clients. Pros of the second option: a) the prestige of the US experience b) better training c) better experience due to exposure to the American companies which on average are higher quality organizations than emerging market companies. I think many people would be interested in your opinion on this topic, Michael. A related dilemma that some of my friends have is making a choice between BBM in their home country and Deloitte/PWC in the US. What is better for them assuming they would like to be in their home country in 5-7 years?”

7 Okt 20119min

34: McKinsey USA or McKinsey EM

34: McKinsey USA or McKinsey EM

We have responded to the bolded out part of the question below: “As a person from a big emerging market interested in the long term career in my region, I am thinking about which strategy makes more sense for a person like me: 1) start at BBM in his own country 2) start at BBM in the US, transferring after some time back to his country (to BBM or directly to industry). I can think of the following pros of the first option: a) better chances for success at BBM due to the absence of cultural barriers, higher growth of BBM in that country b) better exit opportunities c) the earlier opportunity to start building professional network in that country d) better experience at BBM due to higher chance of being staffed on “crown-jewel” clients. Pros of the second option: a) the prestige of the US experience b) better training c) better experience due to exposure to the American companies which on average are higher quality organizations than emerging market companies. I think many people would be interested in your opinion on this topic, Michael. A related dilemma that some of my friends have is making a choice between BBM in their home country and Deloitte/PWC in the US. What is better for them assuming they would like to be in their home country in 5-7 years?” McKinsey USA or McKinsey EM

1 Okt 201116min

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