37. Building Rapport: How To Connect With People

Big thought: Connecting with people is often easier said than done, and many people psych themselves out of it before they even get the chance to try. Building rapport is one of the most coveted skills in almost any business or organization. It seems to be the essence of being a people’s person, but it is actually so much more than that. It is building trust for the brand in which you represent. It is helping connect people’s needs to a solution. It is even simply being a genuine friend who cares.

Today we’re going to talk about the practical ways to connect with people by building rapport with them. I’m going to show you why building authentic connections is so important. I’m going to share with you helpful tips on how to build trust before even using any words. And I’m also going to give you a four step formula that you can use on your own to build rapport with new people you meet.

The reason that this topic is so important to talk about is because so many people struggle with the idea of building rapport with others, thinking that they’re being ingenious or simply because they don’t know how to initiate different conversations. So many meaningful opportunities are lost because of the fear, anxiety and feelings of not being equipped to talk to people. It is so much simpler and easier than people make it out to be in their head!

1. Why it’s necessary.

Not only do nearly all organizations need a growing influx of connections in order to sustain itself and to grow, but we do as ordinary people. People are community centered beings, and it doesn’t matter if a person is an introvert or an extrovert, we need connection with other people. When you connect with a stranger, you simply do not know the hidden potential that relationship can form into. And when it comes to connecting people with your mission or your organization’s mission, all that you’re doing is sharing your life with someone else. And for many people, you just may be sharing a solution to a problem that may have been heavy on their heart.

2. Looks matter.

Most communication and rapport is built within the first seconds of someone meeting you before any words are even spoken. People have a natural tendency to judge a book by its cover, so you should make every attempt to not get counted out before you ever really get the chance to say anything. If you want to have the opportunity to have your words received or trusted, you have to pave the way by how you dress, your body language and your face.

3. Form conversations.

I believe every conversation should feel genuine. No one likes the feeling of being fake talked to or like someone is just trying to sell them on something. You should try to separate in your mind that the person you’re talking to or about to talk to is simply a real person that you have the opportunity to get to know better. And after that, whatever happens happens. When it comes to initiating those conversations, I almost always use the formula of FORM:

3.1. Family

3.2. Occupation

3.3. Recreation

3.4. Message

Take away:

1. Rate your rapport building skills on a 1-10 scale and write down what you feel like you’re best at and worst at when it comes to connecting with these people.

2. Review your looks and pick 1-3 things that you can improve on with how you visually present yourself to other people.

3. Practice the FORM formula with somebody this week.

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