The Freeze Response, Gifted Kid Syndrome, and BPD: July Mailbag

The Freeze Response, Gifted Kid Syndrome, and BPD: July Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions about perfectionism, performance anxiety, trauma, and relationships. They explore how early praise for being “gifted” can create a fear of failure and contribute to “failure to launch,” and share ways to shift from focusing on an idealized future to appreciating your actual self right now. They discuss learned helplessness, the freeze response, and practical ways to build agency and vitality to counter feelings of powerlessness. Other topics include the differences between borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, overcoming performance anxiety, and how to decide which friendships are worth investing in. Key Topics: 02:30: Gifted kid syndrome and fear of failure 08:00: Moving from potential to presence 15:50: Performance anxiety and perfectionism 18:50: Redefining success through process goals 22:30: Learned helplessness and the freeze response 29:30: Reclaiming agency and vitality 38:00: Failure to launch in adulthood 45:00: BPD vs. Bipolar disorder 55:00: Rethinking modern friendship advice 1:03:34: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Try Daily30+, the 30+ plant prebiotic supplement from ZOE. Go to zoe.com/daily30 today, and you’ll get a free bright yellow ZOE tin and a magnetic scoop. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ep. 47: Appreciating Your Generosity

Ep. 47: Appreciating Your Generosity

Each of us gives in many small ways every day. Each of these gifts is valuable, and each is an opportunity to feel good. But it's often hard to experience them that way! Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin the final strength of Generosity by exploring how we can do just that.   If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:00: What is “everyday giving?” 3:20: The evolution of generosity. 9:25: What generosity gives to us. 12:00: Feeling like a person of value. 15:30: Blocks to giving. 20:00: Compassion and equanimity. 23:30: How to build equanimity. 28:45: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Dec 201831min

Ep. 46: How to Give What's in Your Heart

Ep. 46: How to Give What's in Your Heart

How would your behavior change if you framed your actions as offerings to others? Dr. Hanson and Forrest bring the strength of Aspiration to a close by exploring how we can give what's truly in our heart. If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:25: What does it mean to make your offering? 4:05: How does making your offering support aspiration generally? 5:45: Two blocks to aspiration. 8:45: How making your offering simplifies relationships. 10:10: Finding fertile ground. 13:45: Being wise around persistence. 16:30: How can we find more fertile ground? 23:10: Whole effort, whole heart. 27:15: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Nov 201829min

Ep. 45: Aspiration Without Attachment

Ep. 45: Aspiration Without Attachment

Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can "aspire without attachment;" dreaming big dreams and pursuing them with commitment, while also being at peace with whatever happens. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:40: What does “aspiring without attachment” mean? 2:45: Why is it a good thing to aspire without attachment? 7:55: Process vs. outcome goals. 10:35: Re-framing what “winning” looks like. 15:00: Accepting the reality of negative outcomes. 16:45: “Failure” as part of a process. 18:45: The power of big goals. 20:30: Relaxing the sense of self. 28:15: Being carried by purpose 31:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Nov 201833min

Ep. 44: Honoring Your Childhood Dreams

Ep. 44: Honoring Your Childhood Dreams

Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can learn from and bring to life our childhood dreams - a key part of Aspiration. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:15: Why is aspiration a key strength? 3:30: Why are childhood dreams important? 6:15: Viewing the world without assumptions. 10:15: Aspiring toward ends rather than means. 14:15: Being conscious of the impact of other people. 20:20: How the “dreaded experience” stops us from aspiring. 24:00: Love, work, and play. 29:15: Including talents and values in your life. 34:20: Ikigai 37:45: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Nov 201839min

Ep. 43: Aspiration with Dr. Dan Siegel

Ep. 43: Aspiration with Dr. Dan Siegel

Today we’re beginning a new strength, Aspiration, with a conversation between Dr. Hanson and Dr. Dan Siegel. During this episode, Dr. Siegel will explain how you can use “mindsight" to tap into the dreams you had as a child, and honor those aspirations as an adult.  This interview is also a part of the Foundations of Well-Being online program. If you'd like to learn more about the Foundations of Well Being: https://thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/affiliate/38370 Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:15: Interview begins 4:00: Why has it been important to you, personally, to develop inner strengths? 8:25: How has your life experience contributed to your view of Aspiration? 14:55: How can you use Mindsight to tune back in to your childhood dreams? 21:20: Reclaiming the dreams of your youth. 29:45: What are some of the internal blocks people bump into? 38:30: Supporting the thriving of others. 46:15: How can we support the aspirations of younger people? 56:30: What advice would you give your younger self? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Nov 20181h 1min

Ep. 42: Repairing Relationships

Ep. 42: Repairing Relationships

At even the best of times, our relationships require a natural process of correction – let’s call it repair – to clear up little misunderstandings and ease points of friction. Doing that skillfully is the focus of today's episode. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:15: What are the common things that require repair? 3:25: The problem of resisting repair. 9:00: Checking our attributions and understandings. 15:30: Negotiating relevant values. 17:40: Know that your needs matter. 20:50: Expressing your needs clearly. 22:15: Scaling your relationships. 23:40: Repair as an expression of caring. 25:45: Leading with the good. 27:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Okt 201829min

Ep. 41: How to Assert Yourself Effectively

Ep. 41: How to Assert Yourself Effectively

Relationships go smoothly when everyone wants the same thing. But how common is that? On this episode, Forrest and Dr. Hanson continue the strength of Courage by exploring how we can assert ourselves effectively. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:15: Why do people struggle to assert themselves effectively? 3:10: Setting the stage for asserting yourself. 8:45: Keeping your eyes on the prize. 11:50: Commenting on process. 16:10: Focusing on the future. 18:15: What would it look like if you got what you wanted? 24:00: Make requests, not demands. 25:50: Making requests with dignity. 28:50: Consolidating your gains. 30:45: Make clear agreements. 32:15: How can I help you do this? 37:10: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Okt 201839min

Ep. 40: Speaking from the Heart

Ep. 40: Speaking from the Heart

Think about the weight of what’s been unsaid in your relationships. What have the effects been on you and other people? Today we’ll explore how to express those undelivered communications, and "speak from the heart" with kindness and skill. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:25: What do you mean by speaking from the heart? 3:00: What do we gain by speaking from the heart? 5:10: Speaking the positive as well as the negative. 6:20: The different dangers in speaking from the heart. 8:00: Establishing safety. 11:45: Being clear about our own facts. 15:30: What are the results you’re aiming for? 16:30: Talking about process. 21:20: Knowing your line in the sand. 22:30: Start by joining. 26:00: Leading with “I feel.” 28:15: Wise speech. 35:20: Continuing to practice empathy. 37:15: Nonviolent communication. 40:15: Honoring other people’s fundamental questions. 43:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Okt 201845min

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