The Freeze Response, Gifted Kid Syndrome, and BPD: July Mailbag

We have a natural desire for a reliable world - but life happens, and no person or organization is perfectly dependable. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can learn to manage that natural undependability. If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 2:00: Our expectations of dependability. 5:00: The undependability of experience. 7:30: The inevitability of disappointment. 12:30: Centering amidst disappointment. 17:00: Seeing what IS dependable. 20:40: Recap. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Okt 201822min

It’s easy to spend more time dwelling on the faults of others than reflecting on the room for improvement in oneself. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how "unilateral virtue" helps us focus on our side of the street, and keep our eyes on the prize. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:10: Where does unilateral virtue come from? 3:15: Being virtuous without becoming a doormat. 7:20: Fulfilling expectations and creating a framework of trust. 12:20: Doing things out of the kindness of our heart. 14:50: How can we establish our personal code? 18:00: Ways to set and keep personal commitments. 20:10: The difference between inner and other directed. 24:00: Other tactics for maintaining unilateral virtue. 25:30: Staying calm during an irritating interaction. 29:00: Staying humble about how righteous you are. 31:35: Feeling “at choice.” 34:15: Recap. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Okt 201836min

One would think it would be obvious, but the importance of warming the heart, and developing greater compassion and kindness as personal traits, is often overlooked in our important relationships. Dr. Hanson draws on 35+ years of couples counseling experience to teach us how to do just that. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:45: The less obvious reasons to be compassionate and kind. 5:00: The difference between compassion and kindness. 9:00: Loving at will. 11:30: Ways we can increase our capacity for compassion and kindness. 14:00: Respecting the boundaries of others. 16:30: Compassion and kindness while maintaining clear boundaries. 18:10: The protection of warmheartedness. 19:35: The difference between doing a negative thing and receiving a negative response. 20:45: Being loving inside yourself. 21:35: Two equally valuable ways to be loving and kind. 22:40: Loving others helps heal our wounds around love. 24:15: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Sep 201826min

One of the most important interpersonal skills is empathy, which allows us to tune into and understand other people. Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their discussion on Intimacy by exploring how we can grow this key strength. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:30: Why do we need to be empathic in order to be intimate? 1:50: Where does empathy come from biologically? 5:15: Summary of the three ways we can show empathy. 5:50: Is empathy a trait that can be developed? 8:15: Sustaining your attention to other people. 10:35: Letting yourself be truly affected by another person. 12:30: Empathic joining vs. problem solving. 13:55: Having empathy for perspectives very different from your own. 18:45: Ways to have empathy in the moment. 20:00: Feeling felt. 21:20: Using empathy responsibly. 22:00: Empathic imagination. 24:15: How to avoid playing the psychologist. 26:00: Being aware of true intentions. 27:40: Managing tone and using empathy to communicate. 30:25: Finding me and we through empathy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Sep 201835min

Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin a new strength, Intimacy, with a discussion focused on how to balance two seemingly conflicting goals: maintaining our independence from other people while also forging emotionally intimate relationships with them. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:40: How does intimacy support autonomy? 3:50: What does appropriate autonomy look like? 5:30: How does autonomy support intimacy? 8:50: The importance of choice. 10:25: Is there a biological basis for preferences for intimacy or autonomy? 12:35: The ways we inhibit ourselves. 16:10: Where do our inhibitions come from? 19:15: How issues with autonomy can disguise themselves as problems with intimacy. 21:55: The oppression of the internalized audience. 24:45: Focusing on your own experience. 26:20: How to build healthy emotional boundaries. 29:00: Remembering when things went well. 30:30: Asserting your autonomy inside your own mind. 34:15: The importance of balance. 35:20: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Sep 201837min

On this unique episode, Forrest interviews Dr. Hanson about his personal story of motivation – including how to transform from someone who lacks a natural feeling of motivation to someone who can diligently pursue their goals. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 2:00: Learning how to naturally motivate yourself. 5:00: Valuing your unique gifts. 6:30: Adding up an extra two hours. 8:30: Sustaining motivation through a long day. 11:45: Reducing the friction in your life. 14:10: The importance of taking decisive action. 17:00: The difference between motivation and discipline. 19:20: The feeling of commitment toward your goals. 26:00: Recognizing how limited our time is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Sep 201831min

We all have things we know would be good to do, but it’s hard to do them. On this episode, Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest focus on a key aspect of motivation: how we can incline our minds to break bad habits, and want the things that are good for it. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:40: Why doesn’t just knowing that something is bad stop us from doing it? 2:55: How does motivation work biologically? 7:00: The importance of connecting good behaviors to direct rewards. 8:50: Becoming good at imagining rewards. 12:40: Internalizing reward along the way. 14:20: Imbuing simple tasks with meaning. 17:30: Bringing playfulness to what you do. 19:30: Is there genetic variation in how easily motivated people are? 23:35: Having empathy for biological differences between people. 27:40: The relationship between nature and nurture. 33:35: The value of fulfilling expectations. 37:25: Identifying novelty. 39:40: Finding the fun factor. 41:00: Self-nurturance vs. self-criticism. 46:15: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Aug 201850min

Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue the strength of Motivation by exploring how we can use healthy passion without falling victim to unhealthy righteousness, anger, and stress. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:00: What’s the relationship between stress and passion? 3:50: Applying positive vs. negative emotion. 6:30: Why passion and “revving up” makes you vulnerable to stress. 11:30: Why can things BE great but FEEL wearing? 15:00: “Faking” passion, and the influence of culture. 17:20: Learning how to hit the gas, and then tap the brakes. 19:00: Four ways to stay in healthy passion. 27:50: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Aug 201829min