142. Theme Shifting OCD and Relationship Anxiety: How to Tell What’s Real

142. Theme Shifting OCD and Relationship Anxiety: How to Tell What’s Real

Did you know OCD is like an overprotective friend—one that targets what you love most? It sounds strange, doesn’t it?

In this episode of the OCD Whisperer Podcast, host Kristina Orlova is joined by Dr. Thomas Ballas, a clinical psychologist specializing in OCD, anxiety, perfectionism, and trauma. Dr. Ballas provides therapy via telehealth across 42 states and brings a practical, evidence-based perspective to the discussion.

Together, they explore the concept of theme shifting in OCD—how intrusive thoughts often jump from one obsession to another—and why ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) remains effective even as themes evolve. The conversation also covers Relationship OCD, highlighting ways to differentiate between genuine relationship concerns and OCD-driven doubt.

The episode concludes with a discussion on rebuilding self-trust and confidence after years of navigating OCD.

If you've ever found yourself second-guessing your thoughts, your feelings, or even your relationships, this conversation offers clarity, practical tools, and a fresh way to understand what’s really going on. Let’s jump into it!

The 3 things you’ll learn in today’s episode:

  • Why OCD themes change and how to apply ERP no matter what your brain latches onto
  • What differentiates real relationship concerns from Relationship OCD and how to tell the difference
  • How to build mood-independent confidence and make values-based decisions despite doubt

In This Episode

  • [00:32] Introduction to Dr Thomas Ballas
  • [01:23] What OCD theme shifting is and why it happens
  • [02:01] Why OCD attacks what we value most
  • [03:29] The internal false alarm system and shifting fear
  • [05:07] How to apply ERP even when themes change
  • [06:11] Noticing the same patterns behind different thoughts
  • [07:05] Navigating taboo and emotionally charged OCD themes
  • [08:19] “But this time it feels different” – how to manage doubts that seem real
  • [09:23] Diving into Relationship OCD and distinguishing it from real concerns
  • [11:14] Real dysfunction vs. OCD-fueled rumination
  • [13:07] Self-doubt, shame, and the role of mood-independent choices
  • [14:25] Confidence, compassion, and choosing values-based actions
  • [15:28] Where to find Dr. Thomas Ballas online

Our Guest

Dr. Thomas Ballas is a clinical psychologist based in New York and New Jersey, specializing in OCD, anxiety, perfectionism, and trauma. Through telehealth, he serves clients in over 42 states. His approach emphasizes evidence-based techniques like ERP and values-driven recovery. Dr. Ballas is passionate about helping people regain self-trust and build resilience on their journey with OCD.

Resources & Links

Kristina Orlova, LMFT

Dr. Thomas Ballas

Mentioned

Please note, while our host is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in OCD and anxiety disorders in the state of California, this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for therapy.

Stay tuned for weekly episodes filled with valuable insights and tips for managing OCD and anxiety. And remember, keep going in the meantime. See you in the next episode!

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53. Interview with Paul Mc Carroll on What if Recovery Becomes a Compulsion?

53. Interview with Paul Mc Carroll on What if Recovery Becomes a Compulsion?

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today I interview Paul Mc Carroll from Belfast, Ireland who is an OCD and anxiety specialist, therapist, and mental health trainer.   Here are some questions I asked: When recovery turns into a compulsion, what can someone do? How does stress play into OCD and when feeling exhausted by OCD how does one manage that? What could self -care look like? How can ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy) aid in recovery? Paul Mc Carroll's website: www.befreefromocd.com Instagram: @befreefromocd Facebook: @befreefromocd ***   IG @ocdwhisperer  Resources for OCD eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal Facebook Podcast Community   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

10 Jan 202216min

52. Interview with Kelley Franke on How do OCD symptoms return?

52. Interview with Kelley Franke on How do OCD symptoms return?

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today I interview Kelley Franke, LMFT on Why do OCD symptoms return?   How do OCD symptoms return? Why does someone have OCD? What is a message you want to leave our listeners with? Kelly's Instagram Purely OCD Podcast Email Kelley   ***   IG @ocdwhisperer  Resources for OCD eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal Facebook Podcast Community   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

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51. Interview with Dr. Jonathan Grayson on OCD, recovery, and motivation

51. Interview with Dr. Jonathan Grayson on OCD, recovery, and motivation

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today I talk with Dr. Jonathan Grayson is a licensed psychologist (PSY26643) and has been specializing in the treatment of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) for more than 40 years and is a nationally recognized expert. He was the first person in the nation to start an OCD support group, and he wrote the book Freedom From Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.   Often people do not think that recovery can be possible or they get hung up on the fact that OCD is a chronic condition and that means they can never get rid of it. What advice would you give to someone who is thinking like this? When someone is really unmotivated to implement ERP, is there anything they can do to get motivated again? Lastly, what words of inspiration would you like to leave for our listeners?   Dr. Grayson's private practice Book Freedom from OCD (2nd edition)   ***   IG @ocdwhisperer  Resources for OCD eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal Facebook Podcast Community   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

13 Dec 202132min

50. Interview with Dr. Roberto Olivardia on BDD and OCD

50. Interview with Dr. Roberto Olivardia on BDD and OCD

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today I talk with Dr. Roberto Olivardia about BDD and OCD.  Here are the questions we cover: How can someone understand how these two mental health issues work hand in hand? How are BDD and body image or eating spectrum disorders related? What would you say is the #1 thing that someone should do to get better?   To contact, email: roberto_olivardia@hms.harvard.edu   ***   IG @ocdwhisperer  Resources for OCD eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal Facebook Podcast Community   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

29 Nov 202121min

49. Interview with Ethan Smith on Recovery from OCD

49. Interview with Ethan Smith on Recovery from OCD

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today I talk with Ethan Smith.  Here are the questions we cover: What is difficult about recovery? How can someone grasp the concept of exposing themselves to their fears with ERP? What is your message of hope or inspiration? Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ethwriter/?hl=en @ethwriter email: ethocd@gmail.com ***   IG @ocdwhisperer  Resources for OCD eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal Facebook Podcast Community   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

15 Nov 202119min

48. Interview with Jason Adams about being a dad with OCD

48. Interview with Jason Adams about being a dad with OCD

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today I talk to Jason Adams about being a dad with OCD.  Here are the questions we cover: Does OCD get in the way of parenting? How do you manage OCD around kids? How does your anxiety influence your kids anxiety? The OCDad Book ***   IG @ocdwhisperer  Resources for OCD eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal Facebook Podcast Community   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

1 Nov 202120min

47. Overcoming Taboo Intrusive Thoughts Part 3 with Matt Codde

47. Overcoming Taboo Intrusive Thoughts Part 3 with Matt Codde

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today we discuss what treatment can look like and that it IS possible to recover from OCD! Check out the episode and register for the LIVE workshop below!   October 27th, 2021 at 12 PM PST! This is part 3 of a 3 part series. ***   IG @ocdwhisperer  Resources for OCD eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal Facebook Podcast Community   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

25 Okt 202127min

46. Overcoming Taboo Intrusive Thoughts Part 2 with Matt Codde

46. Overcoming Taboo Intrusive Thoughts Part 2 with Matt Codde

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today we want to introduce you to a concept that that OCD content is not the problem. Have a listen and register for the workshop using the link below. October 27th, 2021 at 12 PM PST! This is part 2 of a 3 part series. ***   IG @ocdwhisperer  Resources for OCD eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal Facebook Podcast Community   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

23 Okt 202125min

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