Just That Kind of Friend! A Conversation on Love, Loneliness, Friendship, and Autism

In 1999, I heard the legendary gospel queen, Vickie Winans say, "...Good God, a friend when you're friendless" in her rendition of "Long As I Got King Jesus", and I have come to accept that this is the god that I met on the floor of my bedroom who was a friend to this friendless, queer kid when no one else would be. Growing up with undiagnosed ADHD and Autism, I struggled with establishing and maintaining friendships, which often meant that I was isolated and alone.

I spent a lot of time alone as a child, and ultimately my whispered prayers became full conversations about who I was, how I was showing up in the world, and how I could “improve” to be acceptable and likeable to everyone including god. I often failed at that mission, but each time I learned more and more that this deity that I came to trust with all of me did not see me the way others did.

In this episode, I discuss the importance of reading the Tanakh (the Jewish Scriptures) in its original context and coming to understand the humanity of the characters within the text. This will undoubtedly free you from fundamentalism and biblical literalism. I also have an emotional conversation about how my friendship with the Divine saved my life and made me feel an extraordinary love that only a being who is full of integrity, true justice, kindness, grace, and love could ever make me feel. I also discuss how the egomaniacal, insecure, jealous, emotionally unstable, unkind concept of god that was eagerly introduced to me in Christian fundamentalism.

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