206: How To Stop Self-Sabotage So You Can Quit Pornography and Repair Your Relationship

206: How To Stop Self-Sabotage So You Can Quit Pornography and Repair Your Relationship

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use?

Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornographyhttps://stopporn.info/

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Podcast Description: If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I keep going back to porn even when I don’t want to?” — this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, we’re uncovering why so many men sabotage their progress when trying to quit porn, even when they’re motivated, committed, and know what’s at stake. Whether you're struggling with porn addiction, trying to break the habit of watching porn, or working to rebuild trust after betrayal, this episode dives into the root of why you keep slipping—and how to stop.

You’ll learn:

Why you keep relapsing during porn recovery even when you really want to change

The emotional and psychological patterns that lead to self-sabotage during addiction recovery

What’s actually happening when you feel triggered, overwhelmed, or disconnected—and how that leads back to porn

How to work through the internal stories like “I’m never going to change” or “This is just who I am”

How men use porn as a way to escape feelings like shame, rejection, failure, and not being enough

Why many men unintentionally destroy the intimacy and trust they’re trying to rebuild with their wives

The real reason your past efforts to quit pornography haven’t worked—and what to do differently

Tools that actually work to build lasting freedom from porn, heal your marriage, and create long-term change

How to stop numbing, hiding, and isolating when you're in emotional pain

Real client stories of men who broke free from long-term porn habits, repaired emotional connection, and finally felt proud of who they were becoming

If you’ve tried porn blockers, accountability groups, or even therapy—but still feel like something deeper is keeping you stuck—this episode will help you identify the real reason for your porn struggles and finally give you a clear path forward.

This is for men who are serious about:

How to quit watching porn

How to stop masturbating to porn

How to recover after cheating or lying about porn use

How to rebuild trust after porn addiction in marriage

How to stop watching porn without white-knuckling

How to heal shame after pornography use

How to fix your relationship after betrayal

What to do when your wife doesn’t feel safe after porn

How to build emotional safety in marriage

And most of all—how to become the man you want to be

This episode offers a proven path to breaking free from porn, getting unstuck, and healing your relationship—from the inside out.

Avsnitt(210)

Sex: Processing Triggers, Rejection, Creating Safety and Feeling Desire

Sex: Processing Triggers, Rejection, Creating Safety and Feeling Desire

Sexual intimacy is one of the most damaged aspects of a marriage after there's been betrayal from porn addiction. Yet most couples, don't know how to restore intimacy in a healthy way, navigate the triggers, rejection, and increase trust and desire. Listen in on an actual coaching session where I help a couple process through triggers and rejection to ultimately feel closer than they ever have together in this area. Take the tools you hear me share with them and apply them to your own situation to see growth and results in this area of your marriage as well. Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship. Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch with me at support@healingcouples.org Feel free to submit questions or topics you'd like covered in future podcast episodes!

25 Feb 202137min

Relationship Healing For Difficult Marriages

Relationship Healing For Difficult Marriages

Can you heal your marriage if he's still falling back into the addiction? What if there is abuse? And is it really safe to be doing work on the relationship early on? (Hint: it's not what you think..) I talk about each of these scenarios and help you thread the needle through how complex things can get when you're trying to heal and move forward. Want access to a free couple's course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch with me at support@healingcouples.org Feel free to submit questions or topics you'd like covered in future podcast episodes!

19 Feb 202128min

The Most Harmful 6-Letter Word That Prevents Permanent Healing

The Most Harmful 6-Letter Word That Prevents Permanent Healing

There is a 6 letter word that MOST people identify with and they need to stop if they want to stop watching porn for good! So if your goal is to heal from addiction or trauma, avoiding this at all costs if crucial. Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch with me at support@healingcouples.org Feel free to submit questions or topics you'd like covered in future podcast episodes! Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

11 Feb 202122min

When One Spouse HATES Talking About Feelings – Do THIS

When One Spouse HATES Talking About Feelings – Do THIS

It's true.. my wife HATES talking about how she feels.. (for real) And I know there are a lot of people out there who are married to someone who feels similar... So in this episode I explain exactly how I navigate it and still create a strong relationship with her. I give you a behind-the-scenes look into my own marriage with her with an undercover recorded conversation where I model for you how to approach a sensitive subject and handle push back. And no, the conversation we had wasn't staged.. she didn't know I did it at the time. I talked to her afterwards and she didn't care. :) Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch with me at support@healingcouples.org Feel free to submit questions or topics you'd like covered in future podcast episodes! Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

5 Feb 202125min

He Says He‘s Telling The Truth.. But How Can She Know

He Says He‘s Telling The Truth.. But How Can She Know

How can she know if he's telling truth? After she find out about his porn addiction, it makes her question everything.. Listen to today's episode to hear my thoughts and how you can avoid the dreaded back and forth of: Her: "I can't believe what you're saying." Him: "I'm telling you the truth."  Her: "No, you're not." Him: "Yes. I don't know what else you want me to say..." And as always, this episode is for both her AND him, because it's important for him to know how to navigate these moments too – Many times he IS telling the truth, but she can still have reservations and not believe it.   >>> Get in Touch! >> Free Course

28 Jan 202130min

The Key to Unlock & Sustain His Motivation For Change

The Key to Unlock & Sustain His Motivation For Change

What should you do he is resistant to changing or fully committing to overcoming the addiction? The answer might surprise both of you.  In this episode, he will begin to see that motivation isn’t as important as everyone says it is, and she’ll discover that there’s a lot more hope for change than she expected. >>> Get in Touch! >> Free Course

21 Jan 202130min

The Best Approach to Heal a Relationship Damaged By Pornography Addiction

The Best Approach to Heal a Relationship Damaged By Pornography Addiction

If you want a stronger relationship, but have been told to focus on yourself instead, this episode will be your guide to perfectly integrating both aspects. Sadly, most couples are unintentionally neglecting one of the greatest sources of healing, and I want to show you exactly how you can start to tap into and get support from this resource. >>> Get in Touch! >> Free Course

15 Jan 202136min

Five Unexpected Ways She is Impacted by Pornography Addiction

Five Unexpected Ways She is Impacted by Pornography Addiction

The impact of an addiction on a partner/spouse can be significant. In this episode I share 5 of the most commonly-seen affects addiction has on her and what she can do to start the healing process. >>> Free Course

8 Jan 202136min

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