Ep. 369: Healing After A Traumatic Birth: Prevention, Treatment, and Real Talk with Krysta Dancy

Ep. 369: Healing After A Traumatic Birth: Prevention, Treatment, and Real Talk with Krysta Dancy

Welcome back to The Birth Lounge Podcast, where we say the quiet parts out loud and hold nothing back when it comes to protecting your power in birth.

In this episode, I’m joined by Krysta Dancy, a licensed trauma therapist, birth doula, and one of the most honest voices in the trauma-informed care space. Together, we unpack what birth trauma really is, how to spot it, how to prevent it, and how to start healing if it’s already part of your story.

We’re digging into:

  • Why Pitocin is showing up in so many traumatic births — and what you deserve to know about it
  • The actual role of doulas in preventing trauma (especially when sh*t gets hard)
  • What your nervous system has to do with the way your birth felt and why it matters
  • How to debrief with your care team, talk to your partner, and ask for what you need in the aftermath
  • Evidence-based trauma therapies like EMDR and Brainspotting, and how to know what’s right for you
  • Scripts and tools for those difficult conversations with providers, family, and friends who just don’t get it

Whether you had a traumatic birth or just want to avoid becoming another horror story statistic, this episode is here to remind you: You are not broken. You are not alone. And there is a way forward.

Timestamps: 00:00 Postpartum Support Is Not Optional 00:56 Welcome to The Birth Lounge 01:09 Pitocin 101: What You’re Not Being Told 02:51 Pitocin and the C-Section Connection 03:44 Grab Your Free Pitocin Guide 05:03 Birth Trauma: Let’s Talk About It 05:50 What Actually Counts as Birth Trauma? 07:37 Meet Krysta Dancy 12:00 How Trauma and Memory Work in Birth 19:12 Signs of PTSD After Birth 31:16 Your Nervous System and Traumatic Birth 39:53 Emotional Trauma Even When the Birth Was “Fine” 44:09 How to Debrief With Your Providers 49:09 The Healing Power of Storytelling 49:36 Why Post-Birth Conversations Are So Hard 50:35 Communication Gaps in the System 52:23 You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone 55:35 The Isolation of Trauma 56:11 When Trauma Runs in the Family 57:40 Healing Starts With Being Seen 58:08 Was That Intervention Actually Necessary? 01:01:30 EMDR, Brainspotting, and More 01:04:18 When Medication Can Be Part of Healing 01:06:50 Scripts for Navigating the Hard Conversations 01:10:34 Supporting a Partner With Trauma Too 01:14:49 When Providers Are Dismissive 01:17:22 Supporting Without Trauma Dumping 01:22:43 Provider Trauma Affects Your Care Too 01:27:32 Final Thoughts and Resources

This episode is full of validation, education, and the tools you need to take the next best step, whether you’re deep in healing or just beginning to realize you’ve got some unpacking to do. You are allowed to feel everything. And you're allowed to heal, your way.

Guest Bio:

Krysta Dancy is a licensed trauma therapist, birth doula, and passionate advocate for healing after a difficult birth.

With over 20 years of experience in psychology, trauma recovery, and perinatal care, Krysta has walked alongside countless families and professionals through some of their most vulnerable moments. She believes that every birthing person deserves to feel safe, heard, and supported — and that healing is always possible, even after trauma.

As the founder and CEO of Dancy Perinatal Counseling, a nationwide organization dedicated to supporting both parents and the professionals who care for them, Krysta’s mission is to make trauma-informed obstetric care the norm, not the exception.

Whether she’s offering therapy, teaching, or simply holding space for someone’s story, Krysta brings compassion, deep expertise, and a fierce commitment to helping people reclaim their strength after a traumatic birth.

Dancy Perinatal Website: http://www.DancyPerinatal.com Therapist Match Tool: https://www.dancyperinatal.com/find-support

Dancy Perinatal IG: https://www.instagram.com/dancyperinatalcounseling/ Dancy Perinatal FB: https://m.facebook.com/DancyPerinatalCounseling Dancy Perinatal Free FB Group for Birth Trauma: https://www.facebook.com/groups/birthtraumasupportgroup/

INSTAGRAM:

Connect with HeHe on IG

Connect with HeHe on YouTube

Connect with Krysta on IG

BIRTH EDUCATION:

Grab HeHe’s free guide to pitocin use here!

Join The Birth Lounge here for judgment-free childbirth education that prepares you for an informed birth and how to confidently navigate hospital policy to have a trauma-free labor experience!

Download The Birth Lounge App for birth & postpartum prep delivered straight to your phone!

LINKS MENTIONED:

The IES-R scale as a pdf

Check out Krysta’s on demand classes here, including debrief and trauma prevention skills for doulas.

Use the promo code "HEHE" to watch Krysta’s on-demand class "Healing After A Traumatic Birth" for free.

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73: Knowing Your Choices and Rights In Birth with Chloe Lubell

73: Knowing Your Choices and Rights In Birth with Chloe Lubell

TRIGGER WARNING: Talk of abortion and rape  Vaginal suppositories, shifting the paradigm of control, and exploring your options, OH MY! Today, HeHe is chatting with Chloe Lubell, also known as The Midwife Is In, on Instagram. We chat about the mental health piece behind birth and how being given choices can create an entirely new way of women’s healthcare. Chloe is helping bring the human aspect back to hospital birth. She shares her perfect ideal birth world if she had a magician wand.. and it includes hospital transfers from home births and pro-epidural viewpoints. We are even chatting about how an epidural might just be the right choice for you based on coping vs. suffering. Chloe tells how sometimes what we do as practitioners, just isn’t enough and where to go from there. This episode is is all about supporting YOU in what you need, no matter what that looks like. You will walk away knowing EXACTLY what you have choices about and what your choices are for each decision that needs to be made.  **The F-bomb is is dropped in this episode! Caution to little ears. Much love, HeHe   Instagram: themidwifeisin    themidwifeisin@gmail.com   Etsy SHop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheMidwifeIsIn?ref=search_shop_redirect

6 Nov 20181h 29min

72: Friday Free Talk: Taking The Stress Out of Traveling with Young Children

72: Friday Free Talk: Taking The Stress Out of Traveling with Young Children

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2 Nov 201837min

71: Gut Health 101 with Liz Bane

71: Gut Health 101 with Liz Bane

HeHe is flipping the script on this one. Gut health seemingly has nothing to do with pregnancy and birth, but it's much bigger underneath the surface. Your gut health is one the crucial building blocks to you overall health. HeHe and Liz are diving on how antibiotics, poor diets, and stress can hinder and even deplete your gut health to a scary point of illness. The good news? Your gut is resilient AF and you can repair much of the damage that you may have been causing unknowingly. Liz sharing the 4 biggest impact on our gut health as well the most helpful supplements and dietary shifts you can make to create and support a happy, health, strong gut health!  Postpartum Planning and Newborn Sleep Workshop: https://mailchi.mp/1fb9a74623c4/fourthtrimesteronlineworkshop Liz Bane: www.lblifeinbalance.com Contact: lizbane@lblifeinbalance.com,  508-331-7122 Instagram: @lizbanelifeinbalance Use code: LIZBAN10OFF on all BE WELL products.   Links mentioned in the episode:  mindbodygreen Dr. Mark Hyman and his book, Food, What the Heck Should I Eat?   BE Well by Dr. Frank Lipman, Liz is an ambassador for BE WELL products and through her website you can receive a discount on any of their cleanses or supplements.  Dr. Robin Berzin, Parsley Health INSTITUTE OF INTEGRATIVE NUTRITION

30 Okt 201845min

70: Friday Free Talk: My IUD Horror Story

70: Friday Free Talk: My IUD Horror Story

In the spirit of halloween, I’m sharing one of my very own medical horror stories. In July 2017, I made the decision to get the copper IUD. I had no idea the pain and trauma that would follow. I have used this story as fuel for my passion of helping women know their rights and advocate for themselves. Today’s episode may be triggering for some listeners. Through this horror show, I learned valuable lessons that I now use in my daily practice and I’m sharing my tips of advocating for yourself when it comes to your health care. Happy Friday, yal!    See:   Free Guide to Traveling with an Infant for the holiday season!    Episode 37: Bullying in the Birth World, Part 2: Advocating for Yourself   Episode 61: Let Me Introduce You to Your Vagina    Article: Taking Control of Your Birth

26 Okt 201837min

69: Communicating During Pregnancy with Amanda Houle

69: Communicating During Pregnancy with Amanda Houle

Today, HeHe is chatting with Amanda Houle, Designer Nanny and Parenting Guru to explore just what you should be talking about with your partner before your baby gets here. We pay so much attention to the birth, but have you talked about your individual parentings styles or your expectations from one another? Have you talked about the language you will use or if you will stop swearing once the baby is born? Have you thought about how each of you feel about childcare options? These are things that parents often find themselves unprepared to make these decisions and without the time to devote to being intentional. Amanda will dive into her recommended parenting style, how you can gain control over your home, and find your balance again. They even dive in to mom-shaming and the nasty mind-games that go along with parenting in 2018. Amanda shares her appraoch to setting boundaries with nosey nancies and judgey janes. Buckle up beucase you're about to have your pants inspired off! Happy Tuesday, yal!   Website: https://parentingwithapunch.com Dr. Brazelton:  https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=brazelton Zero to Three:https://www.zerotothree.org The Gardener and The Carpenter (book): https://www.amazon.com/Gardener-Carpenter-Development-Relationship-Children/dp/1250132258/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540226525&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gardner+and+the+carpenter The Whole Brain Child (book): https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1540226739&sr=8-2&keywords=the+whole+brain+child The 5 Love Languages of Children (book): https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Children-Secret-Effectively/dp/0802412858/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540226762&sr=8-1&keywords=the+5+love+languages+of+children Sensational Kids (book): https://www.amazon.com/Sensational-Kids-Children-Processing-Disorder/dp/039916782X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540226781&sr=8-1&keywords=sensational+kids Podcasts: Parenting With A Punch Voices of Your Village  Janet Landsbury The Balance and Motherhood Podcast Take It or Leave It Podcast  Motherhood Unstressed with Liz Carlile

23 Okt 201853min

68: Friday Free Talk: Morning Sickness

68: Friday Free Talk: Morning Sickness

In this episode, HeHe share what you need to know about morning sickness, why it may be a good thing, what causes it, and numbeorus remedies you can try! From changing the way you think about a midnight snack to finding out if your water is actually causing your nausea to be worse! HeHe is going to help you understand morning sickness from a medically urgent condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Also, why exercise may be the last thing on your mind, but could actually be the solution and why! Don't forget to grab your freebie below for anyone currently experiencing mornign sickness!  Freebie: https://mailchi.mp/f2ebbccf5e13/morningsickness The Drs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60mhWOcvRNs   A mom’s story:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Aj8Fvj4k9k

19 Okt 201821min

67: Using Food to Fuel Your Fertility with Elizabeth Raybould

67: Using Food to Fuel Your Fertility with Elizabeth Raybould

#InfertilityWarriors, this one goes out to yal! If you have tried all the things in all the way from all the experts, this episode will speak right to your heart. I snagged Elizabeth Raybould from Fuel Goodness to chat about infertility challenges and to have her share what she has seen work with her clients. She is an Certified Nutritional Practitioner and uses food to power her clients health, help them master their mindset, and reduce their stress levels! She is even explaining how the food you eat can impact your mentrual cycle in more ways than making you more or less likely to conceive. I'm so happy you're here! Happy friday!

16 Okt 201834min

66: Friday Free Talk: How the Seasons Impact Human Behavior and Birth

66: Friday Free Talk: How the Seasons Impact Human Behavior and Birth

Today’s episode is all about how the seasons impact humans! Turns out, the teachers who say the moon controls the children and can make them maniacs are right! I am sharing what I discovered about the seasons and the role they play in mental health, our behavior, children’s behavior, our sleep, our births, and our brain! We can see spikes and falls in various mental health conditions that also might be connected with the rise and fall of the seasons. I took a look at my own business, I’m sharing the seasonal impacts I noticed in TBH! From hurricanes, snow storms, and equinoxes to mental health, birth complications, and resources available, this episode covers it all!    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3649867/   https://www.princeton.edu/news/2012/06/22/study-hurricane-region-reveals-effects-stress-pregnancy   https://blog.everymothercounts.org/storm-babies-e0cdbf2872ac   https://tbhdoula.blogspot.com/2018/10/how-seasons-impact-humans-and-our-births.html

12 Okt 201824min

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