The Fart Mic Returns w/ Ron White | Your Mom's House Ep. 823

The Fart Mic Returns w/ Ron White | Your Mom's House Ep. 823

Be sure to visit https://Store.YMHStudios.com for up to 65% off our merch! SPONSORS: Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool http://www.monarchmoney.com/ymh Go to https://helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code YMH at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com This week on Your Mom's House, Tom’s still off making a movie so Christina P calls in comedy legend and professional cigar philosopher Ron White to fill the daddy seat. The two dive right in—covering Ron’s brand-new “49-year-old bombshell” girlfriend, the celestial math that makes their relationship perfect, and why fake boobs just aren’t his thing. Ron spills the story of his ill-fated Paris river cruise, complete with pot smoke, a furious German-sounding captain, and a dramatic escape to a Paris hotel equipped with a literal sex swing.Christina shocks Ron by resurrecting a banned piece of YMH history—the beloved fart mic—and offers it up for live use. They trade stories about prenups gone wrong, vomiting for the sake of Cracker Barrel breakfast, fat roll storage hacks, and just how much sex is “too much” when you’re pushing 70. Plus, Ron shares why he thinks he’s better at stand-up now than ever, how to truly slow down on stage, and the strange gift of being an endearing pervert. From fart sandwiches to Swarovski crystal chairs, and from emotional talks about aging parents to the logistics of anal, this is still a YMH at its purest: filthy, funny, and a little too honest. Your Mom’s House Ep. 823 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:17 - Opening Clip: Fart Sandwich 00:08:04 - The Return Of The Fart Mic 00:13:45 - Ron White's Cruise From Hell 00:24:03 - Paris Sex Swings 00:31:54 - Clip: Dumb Brazilian Tourist 00:33:05 - Common Law Marriage 00:41:43 - Clip: Exploding Mom 00:42:56 - Clip: Fat Tourist Breaks Chair 00:44:26 - Clip: Fatso Mechanic 00:46:12 - Clip: Cool Karate 00:48:24 - Clip: Energy Sex 00:51:37 - Cracker Barrel Ambassador 00:57:20 - Sons & Fathers 01:01:56 - Ron's Comedic Words Of Wisdom 01:08:16 - Wrap Up 01:12:12 - Closing Song - "Delta White Mousepad" by Kosher Charro, Remix by John Douglass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Jason Nash-226-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Jason Nash-226-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Jason Nash Is Married. This is not only a factual statement, but also the name of a new movie written by, directed by and starring our very special guest, Jason Nash. Tina Jeans became good buds with Nash over the last month as they both filmed the top secret show that you now know about. We love Jason for a lot of reasons, but his honesty about marraige and parenthood might top it all. If his movie is anything like this conversation we cannot wait to see it!  Plus don't look at, approach, pet, whistle towards or think of another persons dog and a HUGE Dental Update from Tina's bestie, amazing audio and more!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Maj 20141h 27min

225-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

225-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Somewhere on some street that goes by the name Marquette, the dumbest person alive is walking around recording himself on his phone so that we may document stupidity in all its glory.  This episode is packed, but here's what you need to know: Top Dog AND OMG Maria BOTH have calls. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Maj 20141h 8min

224-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

224-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Sometimes when someone screams to F**K someone Right in their P***y they are not who they seem! REJOICE, Tina is back in the Mommy Dome and her jeans are tighter than ever. Will she reveal secrets of her shoot? I don't know. Maybe.  When a LADY gets a massage do Pro men go for the gold and give her that happy ending? Let's discuss. Chuck Woolery is doing A LOT of commercials. A LOT. And they're all for old people that are falling apart. What do they each pay? 11 dollars. Tommy and Tina discuss how many more marriages they'll go thru. More than 3? That seems like too many. Maybe we should just sign a good ol' C*m dog up to hang out around the house. Sean Connery approves!  If you never saw the House of Cosby's do yourself a favor and watch them, Rudy. They are AMAZING, Theo. Eat the pudding slice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Maj 20141h 5min

Live From Seattle with YOSHI-223-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Live From Seattle with YOSHI-223-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

YOOOOOOOOOOOshi! Oh my goodness. He's back - the most downloaded man in YMH history was the step mom in Seattle when Tina couldn't make it. Sadly, the audio isn't great. BLUEBAN'S fault. But it's still worth a listen - why? Well, it's Yoshi. There's no description that does it justice. He covers all his hits: AIDS, assault, murder, kidnapping, racism and more! You ain't ready. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Maj 20141h 49min

222-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

222-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Let's keep getting social! What if SWV covered that song? Or what if all their songs were about Jeans? It's all possible with your MOMS. If you have your stomach stapled or some of it is just taken away be careful when you pass wind because everything might just fall out of you. Tina gives you her secret formula to hotel coffee that is POWERFUL. It's White Lightning that leads to Brown Thunder. The four major food groups are steak, shrimp, chicken and ribs. We help you understand how much of each is important for your diet. Magic Johnson has those AIDS in case you didn't know. Also, Al Sharpton versus words is fantastic. Wear those jeans, gurl.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Maj 20141h 15min

Live from Denver with Chuck Roy-221-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Live from Denver with Chuck Roy-221-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Live from Denver with Chuck Roy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Maj 20141h 35min

220-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

220-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Derivatives are, you know what I'm sayin, like important when you, know what I'm sayin, doin calculus. Word. Dudes should not masturbate on the bus with other people around when those people have camera phones cause you get recorded and then you get arrested (plus it's rude). The exception would be if you had a nice cheese with you and then you can get romantic. You know what's better than a girl fight? Shovel fight! Yeahhhhh! Plus Bad Acting and more. Bang! Bang! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Maj 20141h 20min

Live From Vancouver with Toby Hargrave-219-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Live From Vancouver with Toby Hargrave-219-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Oh the mommies are worldwide, yo! Even though Tina Jeans couldn't make it to Canada (Manada) Tommy Bunz still went up there and did what a single mom has to do. He found a man to help him out. The great Toby Hargrave sat in as a step mom and he was amazing! Toby and Tommy break down a crazy park landscaper, religious upbringings, parenting, heckling, Fill Her Ups, Would You Rathers and so much more. This ep really is the Moose's (Because Canada) T**s! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Maj 20141h 42min

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