222 The Greater the Tension, the Greater the Potential: Individuating in Relationships

Have you ever felt totally torn between two seemingly incompatible desires? Like part of you wants the freedom of non-monogamy while another part longs for that "one and only" Disney story? You're not alone, and this inner conflict isn't something to rush past—it might actually be your greatest opportunity for growth.

In this episode, we’re exploring the Jungian concept of "the tension of opposites" and how it applies to non-monogamy. Rather than seeing these inner conflicts as problems to solve, we explore how bearing this tension can lead to unexpected breakthroughs and deeper self-understanding. This isn't just theoretical—we share practical, creative ways to work with these tensions that go beyond simply "sitting with" uncomfortable feelings.

We’re breaking down:

— What the "tension of opposites" means and why it's particularly relevant during the paradigm shift to non-monogamy

— Why rushing to resolve inner conflicts can actually prevent deeper transformation from occurring

— The physical sensations that often accompany inner conflict

— How bearing the tension of opposites creates space for the "transcendent function"—a third option we couldn't previously imagine

— Why paradigm shifts take years and require us to be comfortable in the "gooey" transformational phase

— Creative practices for working with opposing forces

— How to ask partners and friends to witness your process without trying to "fix" your conflicts

— The value of paying attention to dreams and symbols that emerge during periods of inner tension

— Finding balance between bearing tension and making necessary decisions when the time comes

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Jung's Collected Works, Volume 13

— Marie-Louise von Franz’s Archetypal Dimensions of the Psyche

— The expansive love playlist

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions