The Psychology of Resentment: Over-Functioning, Repression, and Repair

The Psychology of Resentment: Over-Functioning, Repression, and Repair

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the silent killer of relationships: resentment. They discuss resentment as a combination of perceived grievance (“I was wronged”) and helplessness (“and I can’t fix it”), before talking about how over-functioning and control tendencies can lead to resentment in relationships - one person shoulders more of the load while quietly stewing about it. Topics include the role of rumination in keeping resentment alive, the difference between legitimate grievances and toxic rumination, and why resentment can feel protective. Rick shares a step-by-step framework for handling resentment when repair isn’t possible, while Forrest highlights how communication and claiming agency can be powerful antidotes. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro 04:14: Legitimate grievances vs. unhealthy resentment 09:44: How perceptions of injustice and helplessness fuel resentment 20:04: Claiming your agency 34:41: How to work through resentment with others 50:11: How to work through resentment when you can’t work through it with others 1:02:51: Recap Grief and Loss Course: In this four-week online program Rick will help you soothe emotional pain, find perspective and meaning, and hold whatever happened with acceptance and compassion. Learn more at RickHanson.com/loss and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Depleted Mother Syndrome: Why Moms Burn Out, and How to Recover with Jan Hanson

Depleted Mother Syndrome: Why Moms Burn Out, and How to Recover with Jan Hanson

Forrest is joined by his parents, psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and nutritionist Jan Hanson, to discuss "Depleted Mother Syndrome:” the exhaustion, brain fog, and low mood so many mothers experience. T...

31 Aug 1h 17min

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

We’ve all been told to “feel our feelings,” but what does that actually mean, and how do you do it? Forrest talks with trauma therapist Simone Saunders about how to go from knowing your patterns to be...

24 Aug 1h 25min

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to become more resistant to manipulation, discussing terms like gaslighting, DARVO, and love bombing. They talk about why cynicism doesn’t make you immune to manipulat...

17 Aug 1h 10min

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

Terms like boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, trauma, and attachment are everywhere now. Dr. Rick and Forrest answer a listener question about the consequences - good and bad - of clinical language es...

10 Aug 1h 1min

Burnout: A Practical Guide for Normal People

Burnout: A Practical Guide for Normal People

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore burnout: what it is, why it’s so common, and what people can do about it. They begin by framing burnout as largely a structural problem that individuals are forced to mana...

3 Aug 1h 15min

The Grieving Body: How to Heal After Loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

The Grieving Body: How to Heal After Loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

We all understand the emotional impact of grief, but its effects on the body are often overlooked. Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist and researcher Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor to explore the ph...

27 Juli 1h 28min

Healing from Parentification: When the “Gifted Child” Grows Up

Healing from Parentification: When the “Gifted Child” Grows Up

Some kids learn early on that the way to be loved is to be useful. They take on the emotional or practical care of their parents in a process known as parentification, and today Dr. Rick and Forrest e...

20 Juli 1h 15min

Understanding Dissociation and DID: What It's Really Like, and How People Recover w/ Dr. Milissa Kaufman and Dr. Lauren Lebois

Understanding Dissociation and DID: What It's Really Like, and How People Recover w/ Dr. Milissa Kaufman and Dr. Lauren Lebois

Most of what people know about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) comes from movies and short videos, and those media portrayals often have little to do with what DID is actually like. To get the re...

13 Juli 1h 26min

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