The Psychology of Resentment: Over-Functioning, Repression, and Repair

The Psychology of Resentment: Over-Functioning, Repression, and Repair

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the silent killer of relationships: resentment. They discuss resentment as a combination of perceived grievance (“I was wronged”) and helplessness (“and I can’t fix it”), before talking about how over-functioning and control tendencies can lead to resentment in relationships - one person shoulders more of the load while quietly stewing about it. Topics include the role of rumination in keeping resentment alive, the difference between legitimate grievances and toxic rumination, and why resentment can feel protective. Rick shares a step-by-step framework for handling resentment when repair isn’t possible, while Forrest highlights how communication and claiming agency can be powerful antidotes. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro 04:14: Legitimate grievances vs. unhealthy resentment 09:44: How perceptions of injustice and helplessness fuel resentment 20:04: Claiming your agency 34:41: How to work through resentment with others 50:11: How to work through resentment when you can’t work through it with others 1:02:51: Recap Grief and Loss Course: In this four-week online program Rick will help you soothe emotional pain, find perspective and meaning, and hold whatever happened with acceptance and compassion. Learn more at RickHanson.com/loss and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Toxic Relationships: Why We Stay and How to Leave

Toxic Relationships: Why We Stay and How to Leave

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore toxic relationships, focusing on how to identify and exit them. Rick talks about how positive traits like empathy, loyalty, and a sense of duty can keep us stuck. They th...

1 Dec 20251h 24min

Dr. Becky on Becoming the Person (and Parent) You Needed

Dr. Becky on Becoming the Person (and Parent) You Needed

Dr. Becky Kennedy joins Forrest for a conversation about building better relationships, with ourselves, our partners, and our children. They talk about Dr. Becky’s framework of “good inside,” and how ...

24 Nov 20251h 30min

Dealing with Guilt Trips, Boundaries, and Non-Monogamy: November Mailbag

Dealing with Guilt Trips, Boundaries, and Non-Monogamy: November Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about effective communication, healthy relationships, and contentment. They explore how defining boundaries, taking maximum reason...

17 Nov 20251h 15min

How to Be Yourself: Authenticity in Relationships with Elizabeth Ferreira

How to Be Yourself: Authenticity in Relationships with Elizabeth Ferreira

In this very fun episode, Forrest and Elizabeth discuss how to get on the same team in a relationship. They explore how conditions of worth, masking, and developmental trauma can get in the way of sho...

10 Nov 20251h 12min

Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic and the Power of Intergenerational Friendships: Feed Drop

Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic and the Power of Intergenerational Friendships: Feed Drop

Today we’re featuring an episode from another show I think you’re really going to connect with: Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health. Can a meaningful friendship bridge a 51-year age gap and help...

6 Nov 202534min

Trauma Masterclass: Understanding and Repairing Our Hidden Wounds

Trauma Masterclass: Understanding and Repairing Our Hidden Wounds

Today we’re revisiting some of our favorite episodes to explore one of the most salient topics in psychology today: trauma. We begin by tracing its developmental roots with Dr. Lindsay Gibson and Dr. ...

3 Nov 20252h 43min

End Self-Punishment: Curiosity, Joy, and Real Growth with Joe Hudson

End Self-Punishment: Curiosity, Joy, and Real Growth with Joe Hudson

Forrest is joined by one of the world’s top executive coaches, Joe Hudson, for a conversation focused on how we can reduce self-punishment and live more fulfilling lives by welcoming our emotions and ...

27 Okt 20251h 16min

Emotional Regulation: How to Feel Your Feelings Flexibly

Emotional Regulation: How to Feel Your Feelings Flexibly

Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss how we can regulate our emotions by feeling, managing, and processing them more effectively. They begin by unpacking common misconceptions and clarifying what healthy regu...

20 Okt 20251h 27min

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