40: The Regret Rabbit Hole: Learning from the Past with Self-Compassion

Grow a Little Each Day

Today, I'd like to share a recent experience that led me down a bit of a rabbit hole. I was in a mobility class at the gym, and as I rolled a tiny yoga therapy ball under my foot, I had this overwhelming thought: "I wish I had known about this sooner!"

This really hit home because years ago, before COVID, I injured my foot after a run without much training. And it's been bothering me ever since. After a recent trip that had me on my feet much of the time, my foot was really sore.

But then, regret started to creep in. I wish I had used these yoga balls for my feet ages ago.

My thoughts drifted to my kids, who are athletes, and how they could have benefited. And then, thought back to COVID and how I wished we had been more active as a family back then.

It's incredible how easily we can fall into this pattern of looking back and thinking, "I wish I had been doing this for a long time." I even found myself thinking about my eating habits and wishing I had known more about balancing blood sugar when I was younger.

But here's the thing — while this line of thinking might be true, we often wish we had known things sooner; is it actually helpful?

For me, wishing I had done things differently didn't make me feel motivated or optimistic. It actually made me feel defeated and as though I had wasted my time.

Our brains, in their attempt to solve problems, often take us back to the past, replaying scenarios.

It's an adaptive process, but with our negativity bias, we often use it against ourselves.

So, how can we use the past in a positive way?

We learn! Now I know what happens when I don't take care of my feet, or when I don't take my iron supplements. We can enjoy this process of learning and growing.

Here's what you'll hear about today:

• Regret is a natural human tendency, but not always helpful. Discover how to turn it into motivation.

• Our brains attempt to solve problems by replaying the past. This is an adaptive process, but our negativity bias can lead us to use it against ourselves.

• How to shift from regret to learning and growth, and use past experiences as lessons to inform future actions.

• Why self-compassion is important to move past the negativity in regrets.

• Ways we can extract all the possible lessons from our life experiences so we can do things differently.

• The 1% secret to implementing change through small, consistent habits.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Personal Story

01:36 Reflecting on Missed Opportunities

03:40 The Impact of Regret

05:07 Shifting to a Positive & Motivational Mindset

08:05 Practical Tips for Self-Compassion and Growth

12:07 Building New Habits

17:47 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Quick Links:

• Self-Compassion.org

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

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