"Just Tell Me What You Need Me To Do!" Resentment From Having to Remind or Delegate Responsibilities to Your Partner: Episode 238

"Just Tell Me What You Need Me To Do!" Resentment From Having to Remind or Delegate Responsibilities to Your Partner: Episode 238

Having frustrations and feelings of resentment over your roles and responsibilities is a common thing we hear. One parter is frustrated about not getting help, then the response they get is: "just tell me what you need me to do" OR "I'm happy to help, just tell me what" OR sometimes "it's your job, you stay at home, I work, so just get it done".

This is frustrating for both partners, and triggers defensivness and often a conflict. This is because:

  • For the partner having to remind: it feels like it's one person's responsibility to "own" the housework. It can feel like parenting your partner.
  • For the partner feeling blindsided: I just don't see those things, I wish you'd tell me before you get so frustrated, they feel like a lot of emotion comes at them suddenly.

In this episode you will hear the main sources of this dynamic and what you can do differently to get back on the same page and feeling supported and loved in the roles and responsibilities you choose.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Get $50 OFF The Live Couples Workshop which now you can attend from anywhere in the world, to enhance your communication skills together

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Falling in Love vs Staying in Love: The Science of Maintaining Your Romantic Connection Over Time: Episode 428

Falling in Love vs Staying in Love: The Science of Maintaining Your Romantic Connection Over Time: Episode 428

It's easy to look at movies or social media and wonder why love once felt effortless, and now feels quieter, more routine, or even distant. No one prepares you for the reality that long-term love does...

23 Dec 202531min

3 Places to be More Loving so Your Partner Feels More Loved: Episode 427

3 Places to be More Loving so Your Partner Feels More Loved: Episode 427

Most couples want to feel more loved, appreciated, and connected. But the way we go about it often backfires. We wait until we're running on empty to tell our partner what we need, and in that vulnera...

16 Dec 202526min

Do This "End of Year Check-in" Now to Get Aligned and Connected Before 2026: Episode 426

Do This "End of Year Check-in" Now to Get Aligned and Connected Before 2026: Episode 426

Most couples glide into the new year on autopilot, sometimes with excitement and optimism, hoping things will feel different, more connected, less chaotic… yet they end up repeating the same patterns ...

9 Dec 202540min

What is Emotional Intimacy, Really? and How to Create More of it: Episode 425

What is Emotional Intimacy, Really? and How to Create More of it: Episode 425

So many couples love each other deeply… yet still feel disconnected. They talk every day, but the conversations revolve around schedules, responsibilities, and what needs to get done next. In this epi...

2 Dec 202539min

Focus on the 3 C's to Feel Loved By Each Other Through the Holiday Season: Episode 424

Focus on the 3 C's to Feel Loved By Each Other Through the Holiday Season: Episode 424

The holidays can bring out both the best and the worst in a marriage. Between packed schedules, family dynamics, and endless to-do lists, it's easy for connection to get lost in the chaos. But this se...

25 Nov 202515min

Discussing Holiday Expectations and Visiting In-Laws (To Prevent Chaos and Conflict): Episode 423

Discussing Holiday Expectations and Visiting In-Laws (To Prevent Chaos and Conflict): Episode 423

The holidays are supposed to feel relaxing and joyful. But for many couples, they're anything but. Between travel plans, family visits, and unspoken expectations, this season can quickly become chaoti...

18 Nov 202529min

Accidentally Squashing Your Partner's Excitement (When You're on Two Different Wavelengths in a Conversation): Episode 422

Accidentally Squashing Your Partner's Excitement (When You're on Two Different Wavelengths in a Conversation): Episode 422

Have you ever shared an idea or dream with your spouse, something that genuinely excited you, only to have the energy immediately flattened by practicality or fear? In this episode, we're unpacking a ...

11 Nov 202522min

Can One Spouse Change the Marriage For the Better? Episode 421

Can One Spouse Change the Marriage For the Better? Episode 421

As the holiday season approaches, many couples find themselves hitting a quiet but undeniable breaking point. Something about this stretch of time—from mid-October through the new year—brings things t...

5 Nov 202529min

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